I am in a long distance relationship, it has been going on for five months. He lives about a 3 hour flight away from where I live and yet in another continent. We send each other texts nearly everyday, the occasional letter and phone each other once a week, We also chat online every weekend for about 2 or 3 hours.

I find it quite difficult, especially as I am getting to know him still. Being apart from each other is hard because of course, if you are getting to know someone, you would want to spend time with them i.e. go to the cinema etc. but at the same time it is good because time apart gives us time to think. As they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I am just enjoying getting to know him the way I am because we have no other choice and I know that I will see him again soon, so I am just loving the romance right now. It can seem cold (online chat and texts) but hearing his voice and him hearing mine is the best ever! I am going to try my best to make the relationship work, even though it is tricky due to distance.

I wish you all the best in your own relationships.

Take Care

Myriam

I'm in a long distance relationship and I'm glad that I'm in it at this time of technological advances. We can email, skype and chat interactively. I look forward to our long talks late night and early mornings - courtesy of Digicell, which means it's much cheaper than my phone cards purchased in the US - who wants to talk for 20 minutes on a $5 card? I've gotten to know this person as a friend before he became a lover and of course "date nights" are ingenious and fun!

cool! hope it sux!

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Well...my long distance relationship has proved something to me. He is quite abusive and the fact that he can make me feel bad sometimes and even depressed...(and we dont even live in the same continent, let alone the same country!) means that the relationship is a big no no. I have been very polite with him even when he has said hurtful things (too polite, I think), I have been very patient and even a few weeks after my uncle died at the age of 51 (he drowned and had a heart attack)....the guy I was in the long distance relationship would go on and on at me to pay out for the flight to go and visit him, even when I explained that I would but that things were difficult financially. (Funerals are very very expensive here in England, it's chepaer to live than it is to die)...Anyway, I dont mean to go all morbid. So this guy who I have known for less than a year and most of our relationship has been based on MSN lol turns out to be incredibly selfish. He even had the cheek to go on at my mum to get the money together to go see him in his country and was very snappy, usually he puts on a sweet act with her. He's a Muslim but drinks excessively and also seems quite depressive. He is ten years older than me and seems to want me to help him get out of the country, we have nothing in common and although he tells me constantly that he loves me etc. (which I find quite overbearing) he never asks me anything about myself and seems quite jealous, he tries to make me depressed even though he is the one with the negative attitude, it's like he wants to pass his problems over to me because he sees that I have a good life....what on earth was I thinking?...

Moment of madness, I prefer to think. Anyway, one good thing about the long distance relationship....is that it gives you time to think and can prevent you from making a big mistake! I do believe that is is very important to know each other as friends to a certain extent, having something in common is vital. I am happy that I have found out what he is like (thanks to monotonous, endless 2 - 3 hour sessions on MSN talking rubbish for nine months) and I wish everyone the best of luck and remember to hang on to a good man when you find one. MSN and other forms of communication can do wonders for a relationship in many different ways. I'm just gonna go and think about how Im going to end it with this guy tactfully tomorrow...as it's our usual Saturday MSN night lol.

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This is a message for Meryem - I am sorry it didn't work out with your long distance relationship I know it can be a difficult thing, what I don't understand is, did you ever met in person at all, it is one thing talking, texting ect but nothing beats actually meeting, you can then look them in the eye and actually see what you are really dealing with. There is two sides to every story. It might (and I am not defending him) have made the difference if one of you could met the other half way and meet up, away from relatives, friends etc and see who are really dealing with. I find that relatives like to interfere saying that long distance relationships are not a good thing and that all the other person wants to do is use you but did you ever get to wondering why your other half is so depressed and why he wants to see you so much. I am English in a relationship with a Jamaican who I beleive has no chance of ever coming to live with me so I will have to find a way to be with him. He wants to come to England of course and wants a better life but most of all he would like the choice as to whether he stays in Jamaica or not! I decided to spend some time with him (3 months) as we are married and see if we can make a life together, I have been in Jamaica for a month now and you know the saying "come see me and come know me is two different things" well boy did it open my eyes, people's habits, their ways and everything you didn't know before you learn about them when you spend more time. The point I am trying to make is there are two sides and unless there is something deep down that is fundermentally wrong then end it, or if it is the attitude about the furneral and everything perhaps when the reality of living in England and how expensive things really are has been drummed in (like I had to explain to my husband) they just don't realise has as all their lives they are told that the streets of london are paved with gold and it easy to make money etc, not so. So bear in mind our perception of live if different from theirs!

Hi this message is for housesitter - thanks for the reply it's always nice to hear other people's opinions. Yes, I have met him a couple of times but my family were on holiday with me. I am half Algerian and so as he is from Algeria, there are certain expectations in our culture, for example getting married. I think that the pressure was too much for me, especially as I am quarter Jamaican, quarter Irish and have lived in London all my life. My perspective on life isn't quite the same as his. The very reason that I kept in touch with him is because I felt sorry for him. I am training as a counsellor and so I guess I thought I could help him. I think feeling sorry for someone is not a good reason to start a relationship, because it can cloud things i.e how much you really do have in common with each other.
We remain friends but I am only 21 I want to enjoy life a little, he's 30 and is ready to settle down. I do still care about him and it hurts a lot but it's just one of those things that wasn't meant to be. He spoke constantly about a visa and wanted me to help him to go to canada - no idea where that came from, it would have been nice to have had a respectful relationship. I think every relationship is different and I hope that one day he finds happiness. It is about perception but the pressure of the culture does play a big part. Algerians who are born in France and the UK have a totally different outlook on life to those born in the 'mother country'. My dad for example is quite backward in my opinion with regards to women. Each to their own. I dont agree with violence, sometimes these men do - not all though, most are real gentlemen and to be honest the bad ideas are just passed down the generations and are due to a lack of education.

I hope that you and your husband find a way of being together, it's a pain that you live so far apart but Im sure that now that you have met him your relationship is stronger - I agree with that. wow 3 months in Jamaica! lucky you. I hear it's beautiful and the pace of life must be so chilled out. Good luck to you and your husband.

Take care. x