Jamaican Jokes: Jamaican Lottery Winner
Recently, this Jamaican won the 10 million special lottery for a dollar. As soon as the office of the Lottery Corporation was open on the following day, he was there to collect his winnings.
Hard Luck - Short story; adopted from the book The ORIGINAL JAMAICAN Patois
Rudolph was twenty-one, and still a virgin. There were two reasons for this; one, he was so ugly that no girl in his home town wanted to be seen with him, much more to sleep with him. Two; he could not afford to pay the prostitutes even though he offered them more than what he thought was the going rate. He read the newspaper column for ‘Pen-pals Wanted’,
picked out some names and addresses, and wrote to a number of girls all over the island.
Godmother and Enid. - Short story; adopted from the book The ORIGINAL JAMAICAN Patois
For nearly a century, from the late eighteen nineties to the early nineteen seventies, Jamaica enjoyed unprecedented growth compared to the other West Indian countries. The capital, Kingston was a melting pot. People from all over the world were taking up residences there. Along with the island’s lovely climate, cost of living was very low and many of the new residents enjoyed the island hop to Cuba for fanfare and gambling. The island’s people fared well, because of the need for added housing and other amenities, especially in Kingston where there was plenty of employment.
Jamaican Jokes: Country Baby Fadah (Father)
A young Jamaican father-to-be living dung inna country awakened the village doctor in the middle of the night saying "Docta! Docta! Come fas! A mi wife sah! Ar water bruk an shi bout fi av di pikni!"....
Newman Thompson - Short story; adopted from the book The ORIGINAL JAMAICAN Patois
In the Jamaican country side that Newman lived, he was known as the village lawyer. Many of the folks in the area affectionately called him Barrister. Some even thought that Barrister was his real name. The judicial court days were always on Wednesdays, and Newman would be in the court room whether he had a trial or not. He was well versed with the British court system in England. He had many run-ins with the law there, and because of his oratory skills and fast talking he had managed to stay a step or two ahead of the authorities.
12 Favorite Jamaican slangs of all time
Every now and then, a catchy slang makes it into the Jamaican language usually spreading in popularity through reggae and dancehall songs. While some may be familiar with the more recent ‘nobody canna cross it’ and ‘A yah so nice’ here are a few Jamaican slangs which were much more than a passing fad. Some like ‘skettel’ and ‘Joe Grind’ are more than 20 years old.
5 Things Jamaicans are afraid of
Most Jamaicans like to act like they’re king of the world, but behind all that bravado, you will find some simple and weird things that they’re afraid of. From people who burn personal items in fear someone might use it to “work necromancy” and stop their progress, to when a ‘moos moos’ (mouse) runs across the floor. These are just a few of the things that can cause a big man to scream like a girl.