Jamaica - Jamaican Culture

3 Jamaican Jokes: "A Slow Boat", "HiJack" and "Magic Trick"

Mon, 13 May 2013 13:45:02 UT

One day, an ant, a butterfly and a snail were hungry and decided to run a boat. So ant said to butterfly,"go fly out some food dung a di shap nuh" butterfly said," mi too tired"

Pantomime: What Is For You - Part 15 by Aisha Scales

Aisha Scales — Mon, 06 May 2013 14:45:02 UT

The next week with my parents absolutely flew by. The three of us were constantly on the go, going from one end of Kingston to the other. We went to Lime Cay for a day and to Gloria’s in Port Royal for dinner, went up to campus to look at my parents’ old stomping grounds and my current ones, and visited what seemed like an endless number of family and friends. Mummy and I also found time to go shopping for my New Year’s Eve dress. The one we found was absolutely gorgeous and I couldn’t wait to wear it. I tried not to wonder what Kevin would think of it, and tried to ignore my mother’s incessant chatter in my ear after we'd bought it, telling me that he would surely leave his girlfriend to be with me once he saw me in it.

Everyone loves an Opportunity…right!!! - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 90

illegal alien — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 17:42:49 UT

The one thing I learned from being an illegal alien is that if you work hard, opportunities are always there when no one knows your situation. Also, people will take advantage of you being an illegal alien desperate for a green card.

LIVE BROADCAST: A Rasta to marry John Boehner's daughter – Reactions from the streets of Jamaica

Joelle "Wendy" Wright — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 14:09:12 UT

Boardlane TV has learned that House Speaker John Boehner’s 35 year old daughter, Lindsay Boehner, is set to marry Jamaican-born Rastafarian, Dominic Lakhan. Reports are that Speaker Boehner is not happy about his daughter’s choice for a fiancée. But how do Jamaicans feel about this union? Boardlane TV took to the streets to gauge reactions.

Granny Gheeta's Views on Sparing The Rod & Spoiling The Child

Margaret Bailey — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 14:00:01 UT

Granny Gheeta was a stern disciplinarian, however, she was a wizard at doling out her affections and reprimands at the same time. Granny would often scold you dreadfully one minute and the next, she would be indulging your ever wish and desire. Then, she would justify her actions by saying, “ I love you that is why I scold you and to show you that there aren’t any bad feelings being harbored, I am sprinkling the unkind words with bits of sugar.”

Tags: Granny Gheeta's Views on Sparing The Rod & Spoiling The Child

Love or Green Card? - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 89

illegal alien — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 14:15:02 UT

Donesha's wedding was one of the most interesting I had ever attended. I did not attend a lot of weddings while growing up in Jamaica. I remember them saying wedding are for “big people”. However the ones I attending or saw on TV was nothing like this.

Christmas in Jamaica: What Is For You - Part 14

Aisha Scales — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 13:00:02 UT

After we had finished our meals (and I had gotten my Devon Stout ice cream), we decided it was time to call it a night. My parents were exhausted; their long day had finally caught up with them and they were ready to get some sleep. Adrianne was the only one who still had energy, probably because of the invigoration of her announcement, and the positive reaction that I envied her for. She had one of her friends pick her up right from Devon House so that she could go out for a few more hours.

The Barrel From "Farin" (Foreign)

Margaret Bailey — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:23:23 UT

The ritual of sending a barrel from foreign has been a long standing tradition in Jamaica. Most Jamaicans dream of migrating to abroad so they can have the privilege of sending foreign goods and difficult to obtain items home.

Tags: The Barrel from Farin

Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Thou Shall Not Covet Dy Neighbor’s Wife!”

Dulcimer Peaches Robothom — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 13:30:09 UT

My wife and I recently moved to a new town because my company relocated. The relocation was an alternative to downsizing. Therefore my company opted to save tax dollars by changing cities. Prior to moving to Oregon, I kept my marriage and private life “under wraps”. No one had met my wife, Selena until we moved to Portland. But, since the company paid to relocate us, it feels as if it has given people a free pass to invade our private lives. We are trying to get acclimated to the environment, but recent events have made it very difficult.

Tags: Ms. Dulcie Sey: "What a Bam Bam wid de TSAS!"

The Cuban Plan - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 88

illegal alien — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 14:10:00 UT

A month after Amber left I was due for another visitor. My mother called to let me know my father was coming to Miami on business for 5 days. He would be attending a business conference at the Miami Beach Convention Center. Even though I felt really badly about my father's new alleged round of cheating, I was excited to see him. I missed my family. I missed Jamaica. Family visiting always brings back some great memories of Jamaica.

The Jamaican Bobsled Team

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 13:30:02 UT

No one has ever doubted Jamaica’s ability to field world-class athletes, but the names of Devon Harris, Dudley Stokes, Michael White and Nelson Stokes have gone down in the annals of sports history as icons of determination and inspiration. The four men came to international prominence as the founders of the first Jamaican Bobsled Team, making their first ever debut in the 1988 Winter Olympics.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Yu Granpickney is no debil”

Dulcimer Peaches Robothom — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:30:01 UT

Cheerio Hevryone! Ow iz uno hall copin wid de Holiday rush? Lorks, me hiz hall chrimassed out because me a go a Hengland soon fi see likkle Precious mi granbebe. Me tink sey me a go need fi get wan separate Jet Liner fi bring de sinthing dem to Hingrid an ar fambly…….Hoops! mi sey fambly…Yes mi dears, Ms. Hingrid she haf wan new bwoyfren name Hans from Sveden…Drama, drama an more drama, but dat is far anedder time.

Tags: Ms. Dulcie Sey: "What a Bam Bam wid de TSAS!"

Granny I Talk about Babysitters

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:30:01 UT

In Jamaica parents take their job of parenting their children seriously. Jamaican women would much rather stay at home and raise, normal, healthy well-adjusted children as opposed to rearing monstrous ragamuffins. While Jamaican fathers relish the idea of being sole providers for their household, ensuring that their family is properly provided for and fortified.

Grammy’s Bob Marley Tribute: Jamaicans React. (Jamaican Spoof)

Joelle "Wendy" Wright — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:00:01 UT

The 55th Annual Grammys paid tribute to Bob Marley on Sunday with a segment featuring Rihanna, Sting, Bruno Mars, and the late reggae icon’s sons Ziggy and Damian. What was a well-anticipated event from viewers all over the world, including Jamaicans; Boardlane TV gets feedback from Jamaicans living in the Atlanta area.

Amber Alert Part 2 - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 87

illegal alien — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 13:45:01 UT

Could I marry Amber? That was the question that came to my mind as I drove away from the airport. I stared at the envelope Amber gave me. It was beside me in the passenger seat. I could not wait to open it, but would do it when I got home. I was in love again. Amber was wife material. We only spent a few hours but this felt right. I could see myself with her. She was not a diva like Rosa.

The Big Announcement: What Is For You - Part 13

Aisha Scales — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 13:30:02 UT

For the rest of that night, I could barely contain myself. The upcoming dinner was the only thing that I could think about. I was dying to tell Adrianne what I was going to say the next night, but I stopped myself. No, it will be more fun if I tell everyone at once. They're all going to be so excited!

Volkswagen Super Bowl AD: Live from Negril (Jamaican Sketch)

Joelle "Wendy" Wright — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 14:54:24 UT

Boarldlane TV reporting live from the beaches of Negril, where we are here to get the reactions of Jamaicans on the controversial Volkswagen ad that has been causing a stir in the U.S. Some critics have described the pregame Super Bowl ad from Volkswagen of America as offensive and culturally insensitive. Some will say, it depends who you talk to, so let us find out how these folks in tourist town, feel about it.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "What a Bam Bam wid de TSAS!"

Dulcimer Peaches Robothom — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:30:02 UT

Frens, fambly an distinguished peoples, ow iz uno hall doin dem ya dawg dayz ere? Tings haad hall ova de wul fi hevrywan, an it nuh sim like anyting a get betta.Owever, iz nat de inflaccion dat gat peoples dung, iz de presant sitiation of de way odder uman beins is treatin dem fello citizens. Me sey, me get bout a dozen letta de odder day 'bout de way de peple dem feel wen dem a travel.

Tags: Ms. Dulcie Sey: "What a Bam Bam wid de TSAS!"

Granny Story: My Friend Lurlie Lemple

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:30:02 UT

We all have friends that come into our lives for short periods of time, however, they manage to leave indelible impressions on our minds. Such was the situation with a girl I met in Prep School. Her name was Lurlie Temple.

Jamaican Joke: Hair Cut

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:30:02 UT

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service. The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a 'Thank You' card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

Amber Alert - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 86

illegal alien — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 13:45:01 UT

Seth called two weeks before he left for Jamaica. He wanted to remind me to get his parents at the airport as they had a connecting overnight flight from Miami to Jamaica. They would also do a connecting flight from Miami back to Kentucky on their way back from the wedding. He joked about missing me at the wedding especially at the bachelor party.

Jamaican Joke: Horse named Holly

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 13:30:01 UT

One night a man was was relaxing watching TVJ when out of the kitchen came his wife with a pan -BOOF!- "a who name Holly?" asked the wife. "Mi jus see a paper eena yuh pocket wid di name 'Holly' pon it, WHO IS SHE?".

Jamaica National Song - “I Pledge My Heart"

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 13:30:02 UT

Growing up in Jamaica children had to learn the National Song for schools, “I Pledge My Heart". It would be sung at the beginning of the school day at devotions or before students when to class. In many cases the Jamaican Anthem was sung first and then the song “I Pledge My Heart".

Jamaican Joke: The Bank Loan

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 13:30:01 UT

An Jamaican man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Jamaica on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

Christmas Time Come: What Is For You - Part 12

Aisha Scales — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 13:30:07 UT

Sunday morning, as I lay in bed, I thought back on the night before. Pretty good night overall, I thought with a grin. I had spent a lot of time with Gary, who fortunately hadn’t asked me any questions about Kevin, and had a good time with him, but eventually Kim and Arlene had dragged me away. While I was off with them, yet another guy, a very good-looking young businessman named Mark, had approached me. He was a recent grad of a university in Florida, and now had what sounded like a pretty high-powered job with one of the local rum companies.

Christmas in Jamaica

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:45:01 UT

It Christmas time again and there is nothing like a Jamaican Christmas. Check out our Christmas recipes including Jamaican fruit cake, red sorrel and white sorrel. We also have some great articles, poems and music on Christmas in Jamaica.

Jamaican Christmas Recipes

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:45:01 UT

Check out our Christmas recipes including Jamaican fruit cake, rum punch red sorrel and white sorrel. Impress your guests with these Jamaican Christmas recipes.

Jamaican Joke: Round of Drinks at the Bar

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:30:02 UT

A Jamaican guy walks into a bar and shouts, "When Mi drink, Everybadi drink!". Everybody is cheering him and applauding like crazy.

Video: Reggae Christmas Songs

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:30:02 UT

Jamaican vocalist Karen Smith and violinist John Williams perform Christmas songs Jamaican style. Watch and enjoy.

Guinep: What Is For You - Part 11

Aisha Scales — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 13:30:02 UT

The next couple of weeks passed by fairly uneventfully for me. Omar and I went to the library together once to study, but that was the only time that we spent together in those two weeks. He’d called me asking to go out on various dates, for lunch, for dinner, to the movies, but I would always turn him down. After a few occasions like that, I could tell that he was gracefully taking the hint. He still called me often, just to chat, but he eventually stopped asking me to go out.

Granny Story: “The Sweetest Housewife”

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 13:30:00 UT

Granny Gheeta had an inherent gift to making people feel at ease or better about their circumstances in life by the stories she told. It always seemed as if Granny had a story to match whatever circumstance one was facing in life.

Tags: Ganny Story: "Be Wary of Greeks Bearing Gifts!"

Confessions...A Rough Road - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 85

illegal alien — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 13:45:01 UT

Seth had just come back from Jamaica and called to discuss the wedding. I could not bring myself to tell him I was not going to be his best man. I lied. ”Give me the details as we get closer”, I told him.

Still A Foreigner: What Is For You - Part 10

Aisha Scales — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 13:30:01 UT

Part 10 of the ongoing tale of Jamaican-Canadian Nadiya Foster and her year at UWI...I lay around in bed for almost an hour after I woke up on Sunday, and probably would have stayed there even longer if Cassandra hadn’t come knocking on my door. “Good morning, sleepy head,” she said after I had opened the door to let her in. “Time to get up. Arlene and I are going to the library, yu wan’ come?”

Granny Story: "Be Wary of Greeks Bearing Gifts!"

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 04:10:00 UT

My Granny Gheeta was a woman of refined taste, class and a staunch believer and advocate of sincerity. One never had to wonder where they stood in Granny's life or how she felt about them. She always made her feelings known, whether they were good, bad, or ugly.

Tags: Ganny Story: "Be Wary of Greeks Bearing Gifts!"

3 New Poems

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 13:30:02 UT

We added 3 new poems: "Fia! Fia! Inna De Arcaad" , "Uncle Sam's Account" and "Rulers Under Scrutiny" by Margaret Juliet Bailey.

Fia! Fia! Inna De Arcaad - Poems in the series "The Poetic Times: Revelation of Injustices"

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 13:30:02 UT

Tags: "Nuff Respeck!" Poem

Uncle Sam's Account - Poems in the series "The Poetic Times: Revelation of Injustices"

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 13:30:02 UT

Tags: "Nuff Respeck!" Poem

Rulers Under Scrutiny - Poems in the series "The Poetic Times: Revelation of Injustices"

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 13:30:02 UT

Tags: "Nuff Respeck!" Poem

Love is in the Air - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 84

illegal alien — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 15:10:00 UT

Steven was in love. He did not need to say it as his actions showed it. I was there the night it happened. We were at the store when a young black lady walked in. She walked up to us while we were stocking the shampoo aisle. She asked for help.

HURRICANE SANDY: Boardlane TV On The Streets of St. Ann (A Jamaican Spoof)

Joelle "Wendy" Wright — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 15:09:35 UT

Jamaicans are hunkered down as Hurricane Sandy with pelting rain and howling winds, is battering the island. However, a few brave souls are out and about defying warnings to stay home. Boardlane TV is here this St. Ann area to speak to some of them.

Taming Celeste - Chapter 4 - J.L. Campbell

Joy L. Campbell — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 13:30:02 UT

The police come to see Celeste to find out what she knows about the murder. She refuses to admit to knowing anything about the killer.

Tags: action, adventure, romance

Sun, Sand and the Green-Eyed Monster: What Is For You - Part 9

Aisha Scales — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 13:30:02 UT

Part 9 of the tale of Nadiya Foster, a Jamaican-Canadian student who heads back to UWI for a one-year exchange program at UWI.

The Pot Giving the Kettle Advice - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 83

illegal alien — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 13:45:01 UT

The late-night cashier Claudette Samuels was caught stealing. I was shocked. She was Jamaican. Claudette was one of the hardest workers at the store. She never complained about the late-night hours and always had an infectious smile. The customers loved her. The store managers could always depend on her. She would be the first person they would call if another cashier was sick.

Taming Celeste - Chapter 3

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 13:30:01 UT

Mark stretched his legs, leaned against the seat and closed his eyes. He needed sleep. He had stayed up late last night ensuring that the list of car parts waiting at customs matched his order. He glanced around the stark waiting room and let his shoulders droop. Without knowing it, he had been a knot of worry as he waited to hear the outcome of Celeste’s procedure. A woman called his name. He looked up and the nurse’s uniform snapped him to full attention. He got to his feet. “Can I see Ms. Davies now?”

Tags: action/adventure, romance

Granny Ghetta I Talk About "Land Capturors"

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 04:10:00 UT

Caribbeans are known throughout the world as being connoisseurs of real estate. Most West Indians toil feverishly for the dream of one day owning their own property.

Tags: Granny & I Talk about "Land Capturors"

Poem: "Nuff Respeck!"

Reverend Margaret Juliet Bailey — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 13:30:02 UT

Tags: "Nuff Respeck!" Poem

Poem: Silent Jamaicans

Margaret Juliet Bailey — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 13:30:02 UT

Tags: Where Are The Parents?

2 New Poems

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 13:30:02 UT

We added 2 new poems: "Silent Jamaicans" a tribute to the Jamaicans who died during 911 terrorist attacks and "Nuff Respeck!". Both poems are by Margaret Juliet Bailey.

Miss Lou Day 2012 on Jamaicans.com

Fri, 07 Sep 2012 15:48:58 UT

Today is Miss Lou's (Louise Simone Bennett-Coverley OM, OJ, MBE) birthday and it's Miss Lou Day on Jamaicans.com. We have a whole section on our website site dedicated to Miss Lou. It includes a photo gallery, an interview, tributes and more. Please free to post in our forums how "Miss Lou" has impacted you and also if you think she should be a Jamaican national hero.

Miss Lou

Fri, 07 Sep 2012 14:10:43 UT