With the new apartment and other expenses I needed more money. I also wanted to change my car. I was going to ask for a raise. I had a degree but was still getting paid like a high school student. I tried my best to move up the ladder and into management but I have not gotten anywhere. I worked a flexible schedule. I was available to work at anytime my manager asked me to. I volunteered to do the things no one else wanted to do. I kept hearing my time would come but it was frustrating. I deserve a raise and a promotion. I have been a BJ’s long enough and have seen too many people come in a get ahead of me. Rumors of the hourly rates some people were getting bothered me as I knew I worked really hard. There was a cashier who everyone thinks is sleeping with one of the supervisors who is rumored to make as much as a manager. I had gone to my boss a few times and asked for a raise. I kept getting excuses and nothing happened.

Even though I had enough documents to get employment somewhere else I did not want to take that chance because I was claiming to be a citizen. If anyone asked for my birth certificate or naturalization papers I would not be able to produce it. I felt safe at BJ’s from the standpoint of my immigration documents. The new climate for immigration seemed to point to employees checking with the government if your immigration status is correct.

Rosa was graduating in 6 months. We had discussed moving in. I was at her apartment a lot and even had my own keys. We were getting much closer and the trust we lost was now being rebuilt.

I liked the idea of us moving in together but was feeling inadequate about the income disparity.  I also felt that eventually some doctor she worked with could “wow” her off her feet. He would question why she has a boyfriend that works at BJ’s. He would tell her she deserved better. I know I would probably do that if I was trying to “check” her. She was getting ready for a six figure salary. I could only dream of that. I was still punching a clock to make a few dollars over minimum wage.

Sue and Sidney was now an item. His ex-wife called the house and left a message for Sue saying “She won”. His ex-wife also had his children call the house looking for their “daddy”. She was trying to play on Sue’s emotions.

Sue lost Ritchie so this was her prize; and what a prize it was. He was condescending, cocky and aggravating. I tolerated him. He seemed to worship the ground Sue walks on. She had him whipped and she loved it. That did not change how I felt about him. In my mind if he left his wife and children for Sue, he could do it again for another girl he fancies. 

Sidney did help me in one respect. It allowed Rosa and I to explore the conversations of marriage more. She did not like the idea of him leaving his wife. She worried about me doing that if we got married. She asked if all Jamaican men cheat. It was a stereotype that I heard all the time and saw first had with my father.  I was able to assure her I would not.

Rosa tried to pacify my frustrations about the job. She did not really touch on the immigration status because it would start the “green card” marriage discussion that was now secondary to the relationship in her mind. I also tried to stay away from the “green card” marriage discussion as I did not want to force the issue.

She would tell me she understood not having the job you wanted etc. I would think to myself.

“I have a degree. I am illegal. You could help me change that if we got married”

I go through these bouts of “ I hate being an illegal alien” once in a while. I get over them but this time it was really bad. It also seems like during those times I hear about everyone getting “through” with a green card or on their way to getting one.

Sue had a friend who was in the Masters program with her that got “through”. She met this guy in her class from a small Mid-west town. She ask him to marry her. She would pay him. He was “green” behind the ears and did not know much about other cultures. He needed the money as his parents were farmers. Plus he was intrigued by other cultures. He was going off to complete most of his degree in a South American country. It would be the perfect marriage he would not be there for 2.5 years. Sue said he did mention sex to her once during a return to the US but she “koofed” him and “sent him back to his corners”. I remember them joking on the phone once about him getting “jungle” fever in South America. Apart from that one incident it was a smooth “ride” to getting her green card.

My mother called to tell me about one of my father’s friends migrating to the US. He got into the “Immigration Amnesty program” that was signed by President Reagan a few years back. He got documents saying we was a farm-worker in Florida. He was now safe and bringing his family to America

Even Uncle Teddy now had a new plan to get legal after the last one fell through. He stayed  in New York even after his wife divorced him. He found a new lady to marry him. She tolerated all his bad habits at first but then started to straighten him out.  She was a take charge type of person. She even wanted us to call her aunt. She was 2^nd generation Italian that was recently divorced. She had a large divorce settlement and  lived in upper Manhattan. They were planning to get married in 2-3 years once her last child was off to college. It was a glimmer of hope for Sue and me. A very small glimmer if Uncle Teddy does not mess this up. Even if he got “through” we would be looking at years before he could file for my father. It would then take years before our father could file for us. It was a longshot.

Even Sidney had a plan. There was some loop hole that if you invest 1 million dollars in the US and employee people you could get a green card. He was planning to start a shipping company in Florida to send “barrels” back to Jamaica. It was a natural for him being that he had all the contacts on the wharf in Jamaica for his other businesses. It could be a glimmer of hope for us but I have a funny feeling that this relationship between Sue and Sidney will not lead to marriage.

All these stories of people either getting “through” or almost getting “through” is good for them but not for me. I was frustrated.

Then some good news started to trickle in.

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