My mother was ecstatic about the engagement. We were planning to get married once she completed her residency to become a doctor was finished but that did not stop my mother from planning. She estimated her residency would be finished in 2 years as she was in an accelerated program and did some of the work during her last 4 years.

My mother was more exited than us. She was telling me who to invite to the wedding. Relatives and friends I don’t remember. Everyone in the family was happy. 

On the other hand Rosa’s family was indifferent. Her father was fine with it but her mother who had a problem with me. Her mother was upset about the wedding. At first Rosa said she expected me to marry a doctor or someone who was a professional. That excuse was good but it bothered her too much for it to be just that. I pressed her for more. I asked her what her mother said.

She finally broke down and told me what her mother’s problem with me was.

Surprising it was a race issue. Her mother expected her to marry someone who was “fairer” than I was. The shocking thing was that her mother was dark skinned and her father was white. Her father and I got along fine. He taught me about baseball.

At the time we started going out, her mother treated me really good when they use to visit. It was fine when I was “the boyfriend”. It reminded me of the class and race system in Jamaica that was very subtle but still there. I did not realize it until I came to America and my sensitivity to race became heightened by my experience.  It was a hidden rule that you don’t marry someone outside your class and even your race. I remember a few of my Chinese, fair skinned and white friends who dated a dark skinned black person but now they are married to someone of their “class” or someone of their “race”. If you are rich that trumps the class and race. The motto was “you can date my daughter for now but she must marry someone in her class or race”.

Rosa was hurt but her father told her not to worry about it. He told her that her mother would get over it. He explained that he had a similar experience when he married her mother. His parents wanted him to marry someone white.

There was no winning her over. Rosa was extremely disappointed. I felt bad for her but I cared more about what was going to happen for me.

I had a sense of relief I never had before. A date I could look forward to. It was the happiest feeling I had in years. Yes it was years away but I had hope. No more hiding in the shadows. A day would come when I could visit Jamaica.

The thought of a green card in my future gave me a new boldness to look for a job. I felt I could take a chance with the papers I had because I would eventually have legitimate ones.

I landed a new job within 2 months with a Medical data processing center.  I would have weekends off.

It was a management position.  I probably should not have been given the position with no real managerial experience but I “stretched the truth” in my resume. I wanted it to show I managed people in the past. Terms like “supervise the inventory team” really meant “I showed people how to stack shelves when the inventory was low”.

I was getting a salary. No more punching a clock as an hourly paid worker. There would be five people reporting to me. My team was one of the many teams that entered the data from paper forms that came in from the field. We had a quota to meet each week and every month. I was responsible for making sure we met that quota.

I was ecstatic about the new job. So was Rosa. I think it took a weight off her to know that I was now a manager. Even though she may not have said it I always felt like she would be ashamed to say she was engaged to a stock boy at a wholesale club. I also believe she thought it would pacify her mother.

I got some personal satisfaction resigning from BJ’s wholesale club. I was not prepared for what would happen next. My manager realized how valuable I was and offered me a promotion and raise. It would be a salary and I would make more than the new job.

I was torn. I could not go back on my word at the new job but I loved the familiarity at BJ’s. It came down to the principle of the situation. They had their opportunity. I did everything to get promoted and more. They did not promote me while I was there so it was time to move on.

When word got out I was leaving people were shocked. I was a mainstay there. Some of my co-workers wished me well. Others came over and secretly asked if the company I was going to was hiring and gave me their phone number. They told me not to forget them if I hear about a job.

The most difficult good bye was my “sistren” Tami. She took it hard. She cried when I told her. I was surprised she took it this hard as she and I were also friends outside of work. In fact we did a double date twice. Her boyfriend was a real comedian and Rosa and I enjoyed the double date. We planned to do it again Tami talked about me showing her the ropes and how much fun we had at the job. She was very sentimental.  I had forgotten about Tami’s flirting incident with me a while back however her reaction to me leaving brought the memory back. They had a going away party for me in the lunch room. She called in sick that day.  

I had to get a new wardrobe for work. It was corporate America. I had to wear a dress shirt and tie.

The first day on the new job went well. I had to meet with Human Resources and do a few short training sessions. By day three I was in full work mode.

I had a small office. My team had cubicles just outside my office. I could hear everything they were doing. It was good as they worked harder knowing I was close by. It was also bad because of the conversations I would overhear from my team. I could not stop them from talking as long as it did not impede their work and the work environment. I got to know them on a professional level by our work interactions and on a personal level by the conversations they had while working.

Abaven was a 20 year old Turkish born student who was only working there to get through school at night. I liked him He was personable and I learned a lot about Turkey from him. He told me about his Armenian heritage and its ties to Christianity. He told me about his family fleeing Armenia in the early 1900’s due to a war there. He mentioned that Armenians were targeted just like Jews in Germany.  His family went to Turkey to escape the war. He was very proud of his Armenian heritage. He was a hard worker and very focused. His goal however was to finish school.

Vaneesha, was a black American lady in her 40’s. She was originally from Mississippi. She was a very religious woman. Her cube was decorated with religious items. She was quiet and got her work done. She was very efficient. She was like a mother figure dishing out advice occasionally. She also loved to bake. On Monday’s she would bring her “Sunday Bakings” in. It would be devoured before noon. I remember thinking that these people were worse than “john crows”. That was until I had a slice of her cake.

Michael was a gay Puerto Rican about 25 years old. He was flamboyant and talkative.  Michael was always dressed nicely and the ladies would constantly compliment him. He constantly distracted the team with his stories about his life. He would talk about the men he was dating. I remember one day overhearing him talk about his sex life. I remember him talking about piercing a “male” body party that would make any man “cringe” like they were kicked in between the legs.  He would have a difficult time in Jamaica because of how flamboyantly gay he was. People in Jamaica know who is gay. They just don’t like it in their face. There are some famous gay people in Jamaica that everyone “whisper” about but don’t say anything publicly because they are no flamboyant. Michael’s favorite expressions were “You go girl” and “work it baby”.

Rachel was a white American girl who was 19. She was beautiful and had the complimentary figure to go along with her looks. She dressed in tight clothing. She was fresh out of high school and was satisfied with going to work. College was not for her she declared a few time. She was the female version of Michael.  She smoked like a chimney. She was very bossy and was “Miss Know it all”. She loved to shock people or get a step ahead of everyone. I remember overhearing a conversation about race that Michael started. He proclaimed…..

“Once you go Black, you can’t go back”. He dated black guys.

Rachel then proceeded to debunk the sexual myths of black men. She said she wanted to see if it was true and slept with a black guy. She proclaimed the myth was just that. Black men are no bigger or better than white men. She loved to spread rumors.

She loved country music and I had to talk to her about bringing a radio to work and blasting 99.9 Country FM. She lived in a city called Davie which was rumored to be the home of the KKK in South Florida. I had driven through that town once. There were horses on the regular road along with cars, people in cowboy hats, ranches and country style signs everywhere. They even had rodeos.

Carlos was of Cuban decent. He was about 30 years old. He was a very hard worker. Michael hated him because he was Cuban. In my early years living here I learned about the tension between Cubans and the other Hispanic groups. The Cubans “run tings” in Miami and all the other Hispanics did not like it. The Puerto Ricans especially thought the Cubans were “uppity” and looked down on other Hispanic. There was genuine hatred between these groups.

All the girls in the other areas loved Carlos. He knew it but did not abuse it. He would offer to stay late if needed. He was a real team player. I was always planning activities for the team to do together. Occasionally they went to Happy Hour on a Friday. I never joined them.

In the beginning I absolutely loved the idea I was managing people. I soon realized that  managing people is very difficult. I was beginning to regret “fixing” my resume.

I don’t have children but I think managing people is like that. They complained. They needed encouragement. They told on each other. They talked about each other. They fought. They cussed. They spread rumors. They gossiped. They back bite. Some of my team members were just “bad mind”.

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