Wedding Adventure Part 1 : Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 60  Uncle Teddy called us with some good news. He was getting married. I was very happy for him but knew it would not play a major role on me getting a green card.  If we were to attempt to get a green card through Uncle Teddy it would take a very long time. First he would have to file for our father, and that could take over 10 years. Then my father would have to file for us which could take another ten years being that we were over 18 years. We would also have to be un-married. Uncle Teddy would probably get through in 2 years.

Why I Don't Go To The Market I wish I could go to the market. Coronation Market, specifically. It's so much cheaper to buy your fruits and vegetables there, rather than the supermarket. But I can't go to the market. At least, not by myself. Because I simply do not speak the language necessary to get the market prices. I do not speak patois.

Boardlane Live Broadcasting from the Buju trial in Tampa, FL - Part 1 Boardlane TV has been following the trial of reggae superstar Mark Myrie, also known as ‘Buju Banton’ since the court session began. Banton is on trial for conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute five or more kilogrammes of cocaine. He could get a maximum of 20 years to life in prison if convicted. Buju Banton's fans have turned out in their numbers for the trial that started on Monday. We have exclusive insider reporting into the happenings inside the Tampa Court from the fans of Buju Banton.

Granny Gheeta and the Fric and Frac Syndrome Many say love is a very splendored thing, however my Granny had differing views when it came to matters of the heart. She felt that two people should be well-suited for each other and that it was important that they were going in the same direction and not taking each other off their predestined course.

Miss Lou Photo Gallery Tribute - September 7th is Miss Lou Day On September 7th the world celebrates Miss Lou Day. Why September 7th? The Jamaica premier authority on culture, Miss Lou was born on September 7th, 1919 and died in July 26, 2006. Check out our photo gallery tribute to Miss Lou. It includes photos of a young Miss Lou, her wedding and her first international performance in New York. Also see the poem "Tenky, Miss Lou, Tenky" by Joan Andrea Hutchinson and our Miss Lou Month May 2003 tribute page.

The Twin - part #1 – Granny B’s funeral in Jamaica The ultrasound confirmed my fears, twin, and two boys; at age 36 this was considered a ‘high risk’ pregnancy, however, I managed to go through the entire pregnancy without a hitch. I worked up to the day before I gave birth to two healthy, cute boys weighing in at 5lb.8oz, and 6lb.2oz. They were the pride and joy of my husband and me, until he left us when they were 15 months old, which leaves me to take care of them physically by myself.

Granny and I: Granny Gheeta and The Fric and Frac Drama Many say love is a very splendored thing, however my Granny had differing views when it came to matters of the heart. She felt that two people should be well-suited for each other and that it was important that they were going in the same direction and not taking each other off their predestined course.

A likkle roast on the side: Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 59 My employee review was not what I expected. It was terrible. It was based on our team achieving phone call quotas. We did not get the number of calls that my manger had set as a goal for my team. I knew some of the call drop-off happened because of my distractions the last few months. I was not pushing the team like I used to.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Yu Usban Iz A Wild, Mad Dawg" Hello mi dere peoples. Ow iz uno hall doing dese ere dayz? Mi ope sey uno Irie despite de ragamuffin wedda conditians dat iz gweyin on inna de wul. Mi sey, dema haff plague inna Haiti, mud slide inna Califarnia an Haustralia, Monson inna Thailand. Lawd! Everyting is so topsy-turvy lately, mi cyan't heven cansantrate pon mi programme, hevry minute dem a pre-hempty mi programme fi natral disasta newscast. But yu eva ere mi dyin trial?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Ongly Hingrid............" Praises to de Halmighty fi bring wan nedder New Year to we! Lorks, Ms. Dulcie do so much celebracion fi de Hallidayz, me eayz still a ring from de naise. Well, me iz very hexcited cause wan a Hingrid fren from de Royal Ballet noh write me. Me nevva did knoe sey me hadvise reach hall ova de Wul. Praise Jesus!  Bwoy! It relly quench mi haart fi knoe sey de yung peple dem a lissen to me. Me gwey read de leta far huno.....Juss mek me get mi readin glasses likkle bit....

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Praise The Lord! Me Reach A Hollywood! Hi dere mi loyal fans. Well hif it wasn't far unno me wudda neva did reach dis far. Lawd! Look we me live fi see. Me, Ms. Princess Peaches Dulcimer Robothom, a tep hout a wan fancy motor car ana wear wan fancy gown mek by Vivienne Tam.

Granny and I: Granny Gheeta and the Engagement of Madame Bhangrasang's Daughter This is a Indo-Jamaican story that I am sure most people can relate to because it pertains to family life and the bethrothal of young ladies within the family unit. My Granny Gheeta was a woman of discerning taste, she knew a lot of people, however she only called a selected few her true friends. Madame Bhangrasang was one of them.

Too Experienced : Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 58 I was convinced Rosa was pregnant. It was 3 days since I left her apartment and found no evidence of her period coming.  She was suddenly extremely busy. We spoke a few times since that but no face to face. No spending time over by her place.  She offered no information on if her period came and I asked no questions due to her response the previous week.

Granny and I: #1 Member of The Rigid Old Timers Club Most youngsters view their Grandparents as easy going and usually compliant with all their antics, however , this was not the situation with Granny Gheeta. Although she enjoyed spoiling her grandchildren, she had limitations and boundaries.

Matters of Attention: Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 57 There was something going on with the neighbors 3 doors away on our floor. There was too much traffic at night in and out of that apartment.  People were entering and exiting the apartment within a 2 minute spam. I also found an empty zip-lock bag with some white “rock” residue near the stairs. I am sure it was crack cocaine.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: What A Way Dem Likkle Chilren "Force Ripe"? The Right Honorable Constance Bartholomew, Jamaica's Special Envoy to Argentina, writes to Ms. Dulcie about "force ripe" children.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Bulldoze The Slum "Landlord"! This month a reader writes Ms. Dulcie about thier granny's home becoming a "tenement yard". Ms. Dulcie gives some strong advice to the Slum "Landlord".

Mi Cry Fe De Rock

Granny and I: Granny Gheeta Talks about Crime in Jamaica Granny Gheeta spent most of her life living in Kingston, where she was surrounded by the flow of a metropolis; as well as the changing conditions of a country under siege by criminals.  Granny spent most of her time in the house conducting her daily chores or going to the market to buy produce for meal preparation.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Oman Can Be So Terrible To One Anodder" In this month's Ms. Dulcie Sey: a writer tells about her horrors of dealing with a female "friend".

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "A Wey Do Ar Dough...... Eh?" Howdy-do hall hoff mi wandarful fans! Lorks Ms. Dulcie burden down wit fretration an bodderation ova de Hingrid she. From she married de custed Yehuda fi ar life is like wan big almshouse. Mi no know wey fi do. She juss give hup pon life. She hup hall night, she nah heat nar drink, den wen she reddy she leff mi gran pickney by arself inna de ouse an gawn a treet. Wey she a do inna de treet iz ongly massa Gad knoe. Hevrybadie  pon de treet she a talk hup, talk hup to. Ar yeye dem a dodge back an forth like sey she pon crack.

Taking a Stand : Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 56 The wind blew against my face as I stood at the wedding alter. We were by the sea. It felt really good. The afternoon was cool and the sun glistened off the sea. It was a gorgeous Miami day. There was not a cloud in the sky.  It was the perfect day for us to get married. I was looking at the main building where Rosa would make her entrance. We were at the Italian sixteenth-century style Vizcaya Museum and Gardens in Miami.

Jamaicans Aid in the Clean Up of Massive Oil Spill Boardlane TV has learned that BP has solicited an expert group of Jamaicans to assist with the clean up efforts of the massive oil spill off the Gulf of Mexico.  Boardlane TV has exclusive video of the meeting that took place between the Jamaicans and BP at the site of the disaster and the results of their work.

Granny and I: The Apparitions of Granny Gheeta My Granny Gheeta and I have been connected through the universe, visions and dreams for as long as I can remember. When I was five years old and felt myself thrown into the midst of emotional trauma, she would appear to me in visions directing me how to make myself feel better by connecting with the hobbies and pastimes that brought me joy.

My mother’s 5 favorite Jamaican proverbs – Happy Mothers day !!! As mother’s day approaches I’ve been reflecting on the advice my mother gave me using Jamaican proverbs. She has used many great Jamaican proverbs to steer me in the right direction while growing up. There are a few Jamaican proverbs that stuck with me throughout the years. Here are my 5 favorite Jamaican proverbs from my mother and what I learned.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Sickness Is A Terrible Ting Do Eh?" Ms. Dulcie goes international and Seh: "Sickness Is A Terrible Ting Do Eh?"

Ms. Dulcie Sey: She Fine Har Hage Paper! Ms. Dulcie in on vacation on the North Coast with people who are acting half thier age...

Granny Gheeta Offers Comfort: Feeling Displaced

Nuh tek up wid bad company : Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 55 Angela thought she could get away with this game but she could not. We could not avoid seeing each other no matter how much she tried. She had to walk by elevators. I had to take the elevators up to the floor I worked on. Our eyes met. She had a sad look. A look like she missed me. I am sure I had the same look also but I was not going to make a move towards her. We continued this cat and mouse game every day. Staring at each other but not talking. It was killing me inside. I would be satisfied with just being a friend.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Dem Tink Sey Mi Shop Is a Heng Out! My luvly folks, how have y'all been keeping? Mi ope uno halright. Mi so glad sey de festival dem done, 'cause lawd, mi God, don't hask if mi nevva dance out mi longitude an latitude pon de float dem. Check out Ms. Dulcie Sey "Dem Tink Me Shop His A Heng out! "

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Shut Up Uno Mouth! Tap Chat People!" Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Shut Up Uno Mouth! Tap Chat People!" . Don't get Ms. Dulcie worked up.

Roaming with Returnee, JuicyChef - A Kingston Based: Food Stylist & Food Journalist I recently had the pleasure of having lunch at one of my favorite Jamaican soul food restaurants( StarApples) with Jacqui Sinclair, food guru, recipe writer and a returnee to Jamaica. Jacqui, who is British born to Jamaican parents, moved to Jamaica four years ago from the culinary capital of the world: Paris. Jacqui wanted to chase her passion of establishing her own business in food, not as a caterer, but as a food media specialist.

Granny & I : "Something Borrowed" Every woman dreams of one day wearing  the much coveted, flowing white dress.  the dress itself is often the main reason why so many ladies opt for a fancy wedding. They want to be the center of attention , if only for a day. Truthfully, the ceremony should be designed to accommodate the dress. The dress sets the theme and tone of the wedding.

Entrapment - Part 2 We went under cover of night I was too dazed to remember where we went My body shook and my bones rattled in the back of the taxi as we manoeuvred a rutted track, somewhere in St. Mary. A dim light bulb lit the compound, which sat on the lip of a low hill I shivered as a light wind danced over my skin Bottles of all shapes and sizes stood guard around the property, like inanimate soldiers The banana and mango trees lining the perimeter of the yard chilled my blood every time the leaves rustled I was sure evil beings lurked in the darkness shrouding the roots of the plants and trees.

Bird in Hand : Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 54 I was still half-asleep. I was not sure how to answer the question Rosa asked. I figured the best way to answer it was to ask my own question. “What do you mean I am being more attentive?” I asked.

Jacob DeCordova, the Jewish Jamaican who founded the Jamaica Daily Gleaner newspaper The official motto of Jamaica “Out of Many, One People” is one that is readily apparent in the faces of the people of Jamaica.  Indeed our strength as a nation is a result of Jamaica’s unique ability to rise above color and race and in so doing create institutions that stand the test of time.  No more is that more evident that in the Jamaica Daily Gleaner a newspaper founded by a Jewish Jamaican, Jacob DeCordova in 1834 and which is still going strong 176 years later in 2010.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Sum Human Beins Suffa From A Complex" This month Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Sum Human Beins Suffa From A Complex. She asks the question "how dem cyan act fool-fool" sometimes.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Yu Husban Is a Male Chauvanist?" Mrs. Dulcie gives marital advice to a fan from Italy. " She have wan maddeeks husban, dat mi no know how she no run way from home. Sit tight mi dears, an listen me."

Wendy's Story Corner – Have you emailed this to a friend?

Who is Wendy? We are sure many of you have forwarded her Jamaicans.com extremely FUNNY forum posts to your family and friends. Wendy is an aspiring playwriter and author. Many of her ‘Jamaicanized’ stories & original sketches have been ‘viral’ on the Internet for several years. Wendy’s impressive writing portfolio includes the very funny Jamaicanized version of the Titanic, Cinderella (Punchinella) & most recently the sketch on the American Airline crash in Jamaica. Her work has been featured on the Jamaicans.com forums for over 12 years and enjoyed by many around the world.

The Power of his greatness- dedicate to Haiti