Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Mi sick and tiad fi elp ungrateful peple!"
Good Eveling or Good Mawnin to hall hof me faitful fans out dere! It hall depends on wey uno iz inna de hatmosphere. Mi ope sey uno did haff a nice time durin de Halliday.
Jamaican Mango Names
There are many types of mangoes in Jamaica but most Jamaicans do not know the name of each species of mango. Jamaican however have some very “colorful” names for the different species of mangoes across the island. Here is a list of names of Jamaican mangoes.
Granny Story: A woman's virtue is never for sale
Many people say that everyone has a price. However, I find that statement to be disconcerting because it insinuates that people can be bought. It extinguishes the hope that individuals are integrable and cannot be discounted by anyone or circumstances.
A Crossroads in Life - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 71
At first I thought losing my job was a disaster. For the first week I was depressed. I knew my lay off was a scam. It was because of the sexual harassment lawsuit. I was in a helpless situation. The job market was not good as the economy was in a recession from the technology bubble bursting. Companies were not hiring people with my skills, especially managers.
Ms. Dulcie: Mrs. Bhoodrasingh’s Troublesome Pickney Dem....
Greetins mi wonderful fans hall ova de wul, well ow hall of you is doin dese days? Lawd, me know de pressha hof de economy haff hevrybady hup inna arms. Jus de odda day me go a Missa Chin Shoppe fe buy wan loaf a hard dough bred……Guess ow much im a sell de bred far?
Live Broadcast From Occupy Downtown (Satire) - Jamaican Style
After weeks of watching the resistance movement calling itself “Occupy Wall Street” the Jamaican people themselves have taken to the streets of downtown, Kingston. The number of protesters on scene so far is in the thousands. The protest, which evolved from a network of individuals and groups galvanized by the demonstrations across United States, has brought people together from all walks of life to make specific demands. Boardlane TV is live on the scene and was able to interview a few of the protesters.
What's in a Song? - A List Jamaica Independence Festival Song Winners : Countdown to Jamaica 50
Edward Seaga once stated that the main reason for the inception of the Jamaica Independence Festival was to have to, "...have something to mobilize the spirit of the people," to celebrate after the long arduous process of achieving Independence in 1962.
Jamaican Culture: Big Bwoy
Big Bwoy is humorous lead character of the Jamaican big bwoy (boy) stories. Most of the stories are naughty and adult in nature. Some are about trickery and deceit. Here are two clean big bwoy jokes.
Granny Story: "What is Granny Gheeta Wearing Today?"
We all have those moments when our parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles embarrass us with their affinity to old, worn out garments or peculiar ways of dressing. The socks with the holes, they refuse to discard, or the loud tie they hold dear because it has sentimental value, or their eccentric ways of dressing, in order to display their individuality."
Affairs of the Office - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 70
“Aaaaahhhh" , I heard a man’s voice echoing through the hallways near my office. It was the type of scream that signaled some type of relief. I heard a man talking. The noise was coming from one of the offices in the hall. It was not on my row but it was loud. It was late. I was working on my weekly status reports. I had missed 2 days due to a bad flu bug. I left the office that evening and came back. I had never worked in the office that late before.
We added 7 new poems:"A So Me Tawk!", "Matron Of Honor" , "De Royale Affair", "White Rasta Jamaican Girl", "Pon De Jamaican Country Road", "Labeled Pseudo-Jamaicans" by Margaret Juliet Bailey and "Danger In Daegu" by Michael Abrahams
Kingston: Vintage Jamaica - Countdown to Jamaica's 50th Independence
What began as just another balmy picturesque day in paradise, ended for its inhabitants as the day the world as they knew it, violently shook and was literally casted upside down. By 1907, Jamaica, the tiny "...verdant beauty..." set in the middle of the Caribbean, like the magnificent jewel she was considered at the time, had established its resilience to Mother Nature's occasional tempestuous fury. Kingston, the bustling harbor town built integrally as a preferred alternative in terms of location to the city of Port Royal, (which had eventually succumbed to repeated tropical onslaughts of natural disasters), had experienced exponential population growth and was the country's center for commerce and trade.
Live Broadcast From the East Coast Earthquake Zone (Satire) - Jamaican Style
A strong earthquake in Virginia rattled the East coast last week Tuesday afternoon and sent out 5.9 seismic shock waves that were felt across the region. The quake prompted evacuations of office buildings and causing people to frantically run into the streets. Boardlane TV and is on the streets of Washington DC to obtain reactions from those scared individuals affected by the quake.
Granny Story: The Night at Ms. San Tropez's House
Everyone is familiar with the phrase "Home is where the heart is", however, this saying rings true especially when one has visited away from their domain and the experience leaves them with a new found appreciation for the comforts and solace of their dwelling space.
Profiles of famous Jamaicans and descendants of Jamaicans Part 2
Profiles of famous Jamaicans and descendants of Jamaicans:Claude McKay, Courtney Andrew Walsh, Donald Quarrie, Donald Bailey, Edna Manley, Edward Baugh, Jimmy Cliff & Jody-Anne Maxwell
Vintage Jamaica - The Tramcar
There are those that are quite surprised by the discovery that in 1845, with the installation of a steam railroad line between Kingston and Spanish Town, the Island of Jamaica was among the first in the Americas to establish a tramcar system as a means of "modern" mass transportation.
Profiles of famous Jamaicans and descendants of Jamaicans - Part 1
Profiles of famous Jamaicans and descendants of Jamaicans: Colin Powell, Usain Bolt Colin Powell, Usain Bolt, Asafa Powell, Bob Marley, Banju Banton, Gordon Cyril “Butch” Stewart, Carla Campbell & Chris Blackwell.
Who is Usain Bolt - A Profile
Usain St. Leo Bolt, OJ, C.D., is a Jamaican sprinter and a five-time World and four-time Olympic gold medalist. He is the world record and Olympic record holder in the 100 metres, the 200 metres and the 4×100 metres relay.
Road Trip - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 69
They say nothing clears the mind like a long trip. I was about to go on one. Seth was going back to Kentucky to pick up some of things he had left there when he moved to Miami. He invited me to go with him and I accepted. I had vacation time since the wedding was off. Why not use it. Rosa really didn’t care where I went. The start of the journey was a little awkward.
Granny Gheeta and Quality Control
A trait that most Jamaicans are known for is their exceptional discernment when it comes to quality. Whether it be quality of workmanship, goods and services, one could say, that Jamaicans are obsessed with achieving and maintaining the best things in life.
Traditional Jamaican Happy Birthday Song - Video and Lyrics
Some birthday traditions in Jamaica are very similar to what you will find in the rest of the world; birthday candles, birthday cake and games. In Jamaica however we have a special Birthday Song. For many Jamaicans growing in Jamaica this song would be sung at a birthday party. Here is the traditional Jamaican Happy Birthday song made popular by Miss Lou on her show "Ring Ding". We have provided the lyrics in English and Patois/Patwa. Enjoy!!!
Hanging on a String - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 68
It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. Not even my “ill planed” adventure to test my green card stamp was as hard on me as this was. It was probably harder because I did not have any control.
Granny Story: Granny Gheeta's Tale of The Publicans
In Jamaica, paying taxes is an arduous but necessary event. Folks rarely make a big deal about the task, primarily because they are not subjected to filing tax returns. They pay taxes on their land, property and water, usually at the end of each year.
I know this is late, but me just get the news. I cant believe is true so I’m writing to authenticate the veracity of the statement that dem a plan up fe kill off Anancy. See yah ma, when Aunty Girlie tell me frighten, me frighten so till that me almost drop dead right there on the spot. Same time me bawl out ‘Murder! Blue murder!’
Say it Ain't So Part 1 - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 67
It was sudden. It caught me totally out of the “blue”. It caught me off guard. It would catch everyone off guard it happens. It happened 5 months before the wedding. Rosa and I were at dinner at a Thai restaurant around the “corner” from her house. “Do you really love me?” Rosa asked.
Granny Gheeta's Views on Chastising Other Peoples' Children
Every parent likes to think that they have a prize cow in all their children, the world's best behaved children. However those utopian thoughts are soon doused at the first hint of criticism spewd by their family members, associates or peers. Granny Gheeta was the expert on such matters, especially since she had a "hush-hush" policy when it came to chastising other peoples' children.
Marketing 101-Yardie Style
If you’ve ever done a course in Marketing you would know the importance of the FOUR P’s-product, price, place (location) and promotion. Any marketer worth anything will tell you that if you do not focus on these four things-yuh product nah go sell. That might be true but it seems that these fancy-schmancy marketers may need to come take a course in Marketing at the University of Downtown Kingston, Jamaica, cause wi good bad enuh.
The Vital Role Jamaican Cartoonists Play
The English definition of a Cartoonist
is a person who specializes in drawing cartoons. The work is usually of a humorous nature and created for satire and informative purposes. Cartoons are used for entertainment, commentary and for the enlightenment of political issues.. A vital part of the Jamaican culture has been the cultivation of several brilliant artists who remain unknown due to their love of true art, and refusing to sell out to commercialism. Jamaica
has been fortunate to have two distinguished Cartoonists in their midst whose Artwork or Cartoons have been seen all over the world and created social awareness for Jamaica.
Live Report from The Royal Wedding (Satire) - Jamaican Style
The week’s most talked about, and widely covered event, has finally taken place. Kate Middleton and Prince William, were wed this morning at Westminster Abbey as College News reported on Wednesday. The atmosphere in London was cheerful as thousands of people gather outside Westminster Abbey to witness the wedding . Among the thousands of well wishers were Jamaicans. Boardlane TV got a chance to speak to some of the onlookers .
What If Granny Gheeta Skins Her Teeth?
In Jamaica most children are very fond of their elderly relatives, primarily because they take the time to listen to their concerns and they refrain from casting judgement, remembering that they too, were once young and carefree. Growing up in Jamaica, and having a grandmother like Granny Gheeta made for very interesting times. As most younger children can relate, once an older relative approaches certain birthdays, we start to think of them as being very ancient.
Video footage of Emperor Haile Selassie’s 1966 visit to Jamaica
Video footage of Emperor Haile Selassie’s April 21, 1966 historic visit to Jamaica. Over 100,000 Rastafarians from all over descended on the airport, having heard that the man whom they considered to be the Messiah was coming. Selassie told the Rastafarians they should not immigrate to Ethiopia until they had found freedom in Jamaica.
The Sins of a Father Part 2 - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 66
We got Amy’s picture in the mail a week after talking to her. She had a friend who was coming to Miami mail it to us. Sue pressed her to do it as she wanted to see if she looked like my father. The picture was all the proof we needed.
Lyrics-De Jamaican Way
I have always been amazed at how bold, bright, brazen and bumptious our Jamaican men are when it comes to dropping lyrics. I am convinced that the things that women have to endure from some of these men happen only in Jamaica.
Granny Gheeta Speaks Beyond The Grave
We are living in times of uncertainty and chaos, partly because the world has been lead astray by well meaning leaders, and partly because most people who inhabit the world, don't really care about good stewardship or governance.
The Sins of a Father - Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 65
When the phone rings late at night it is never good. Sue was not at home as she was sleeping at Sidney that night. My first thought was something happened to either her or my father. His treatment in Cuba had gone well so it would be a surprise if something was wrong with him. Sue would call whenever she was upset with Sidney and needed me to pick her up. That had not happened in months but I had a feeling that this would be the case tonight.
Only In Jamaica - Part 1: The "Masacraw" Of The Queen's English
Being a full-time mom, wife and a part-time teacher does not often allow me the time to engage in one of my favourite past-times, writing. My husband has been prodding me for years to write more and I keep telling him I have no time, which is true, but I believe maybe I needed to be inspired. So started my quest:"What should I write about?" and then it hit me-Jamaica!!! After all there is much on the rock to fill a thousand books. So here's the first look at a series I like to call "ONLY IN JAMAICA-PART 1: THE "MASACRAW" OF THE QUEEN'S ENGLISH.
Granny Gheeta Questions, "Where Is My Grandchild?"
Every parent experiences moments of frantic at one time or another regarding the whereabouts of their child or children. Whether it is a school bus ride gone awry or children losing their way. Childhood has its way of creating panic within families.
Egypt Inspires Protest in Jamaica (Satire) - LIVE BROADCAST From The Streets Of Kingston, Jamaica
Breaking news just in. Boardlane TV is reporting that the people of Jamaica have taken to the streets to protest the Oppressive regime Led by Prime Minister Bruce Golding. The protest from what we understand stems from the uprising already taking place in Egypt where the Egyptians are also attempting to over throw their government. Boardlane TV has footage of some of the events taking place on the ground.
Approval: Impressing My Parents – Part 64 Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 64
My parents would be coming to Miami soon. I had to evaluate some of the things I had been doing which my parents would not approve of.
The club partnership was one of those things. It was going really good even though it put a strain on my relationship with Rosa. As we continued to plan our wedding she had been asking that I quit the club business. She kept saying we needed the time to plan the wedding. I should not be operating around running a club once a week. I believed it was more about her jealousy of Selena.
Valentine's Day Poems
We added 3 Valentine's Day poems by Margaret Juliet Bailey: Love Bureau, Hoping & Wishing and If Love Were Like A Beres Hammond Song