Jamaica

Howdy-do hall hof you fine folks hout dere inna de worl !

Well, Ms. Dulcie haf sum intrestin news far hall hof yu readas.

I will be migrating to Canada far a few months, me a go start wan radio show dere fi a while. Hafta tings get sekkle den me will cum back a JA an continue on at RJR as dem special consultant as hallways.

Me say dese pass few days while me a pack hup me grip dem anna prepare me barrel dem fi ship cross de ocean me meet some real tough head peple you see.

First me go down a R.H. Hanna fe get wan old fashion ironing board fi tek wid me, trough me arthritis me cyant carry the board so good so me hask the store clerk fe get wan far me. Hall now me still a wait fe it. When me hear from de shout, him a have big convesation wid de Sahib, the Store Owner. The genkleman pik a fine time to be brown-nosing im boss pon my time. A tell you dese men today have no consantration.

Den, mi go a Amana fi get wan I-pod fi lissen pon de plane, de Store Manager him neva ere bout I-pod before, one big hel of a stereo im bring me fi lissen to. Lawd a massey! Me would haffey book wan ticket far me and dis ya contraption wey im did a parsuade me fi buy.

Dis ya sumting give a hole new meaning to boom box. Me jus kinly buy wan likkle old fashion transistor radio. ‘Cause fi dem hexcitement is too much far my brain. Den what mek me get bex is him haffi chat to hall hof him coworkers fi find de wrong merchandise, a what kina racket a go on ova at Amana dough eh?

Is same way, me hask Mr. Fowler fe tek me to Van-Del fe get two comfortable pair of shoes so me cyan have far me trip. Me sen im inna de store fe pick hup de shoe dem. Me sid dung outside inna de car a wait pon im, hall half-past six when King Street a close dung , im no cum hout yet. Me jus kinly put on de hazard light an run inside fe cyall him hout, when me go a de door. Him sid dung inna a de store a talk to tree young gal bout im harmy days. Me juss kiss me teeth, cause de ongly harmy days wey him did have was de postal harmy. I doughn’t knoe why dese men cyan’t stay on task wid anyting?

A lady was telling me de odder day dat ar usband went hout far baby formula and got so distracted dat he never came back, apparently dere was so many farmulas he didn’t know which wan to choose.

Dem lack consantration bad, like sum oman. You eva see sum oman at a sale, dem is so focus, not a Donal Quarry cyan distract dem, a so de man dem should be wen oman ge dem a task. Keep dem brain straight down de road until dem finish wey dem a do. Not even Paradise Primrose should be able to distract dem from what dey are doing.

Dem need fe go a INS Training School, yu eva see dem in haction not heven a Helvira could distrac dem. Man, I was passing trough JA customs de odder day an me hask wan officer fi hinfarmation. Straight trough de red tape we went, no stopping at hall, me nevva see simady pon a mission like dat before inna mi life. A so de ole reloux dem should be.

Hall de same a guess we wouldn't haf anyting fe chat bout......

I used to tink Mr. Fowla was a very focused person till I see de ignorance im a carry on wid since Me a go a foreign, well, I cyan’t entrust my business to im, so im cyan sheg it hup far me. So till im get im compass inna de right direccion me put im pon a hiatus. Till next time , dis is Peaches Dulcimer Robothom saying no one handles your affairs betta dan you!