Ow iz all you folks doing dese days? Tings iz hard all ova far hevryone, but wid God elp we shall  persevere.

Well me juss come back from Reggae Sunsplash inna de Country. Lawd a Mercy!

Me dance and sing till me two foot dem feel like de cement block dem wey dem use fe kotch de door hopen. Mi vaice hoarse hup cyan’t dung, me haffi boil sum single bible leaf wid  salt , hall now mi vaice no come back yet. Hif hit no come back soon me haffi go learn sign language.

Me nevva get inna de ouse good, mi dear fren Ms. Punchinella no cyall me, wid one ell of a sob story. Fi ar nephew who wuk dung at de Treasury Department, get imself inn a one piece a fracas. She tell me se im do sum money deal wid  men who sey dem hail from
Alaska. De next ting im knoe, dem a fallow, fallow, im hall hova de globe, dem bug him phone ana try fi controll hall hof him movements.

In a de miggle a de tory me tart fi get suspicious. Me sey to myself, wey kina cloak an dagga tale Punchinella telling me. So me hask ar why dem wudda did bug im phone an all dat. She sey im tell ar dat dem nervous bout dem money transhaction.

So me sey to ar hif dem so nervous bout all dat den dem shulda nobodder wit de Treasury Department, cause dat iz Governmant, an a wole hepa red tape. Hanyhow, de deal go sour and de nex ting im knoe iz im wake hup to wan crass bun pon im lawn.

Throuh me kno sey Heverton is wan sss-moker, me tell ar sey im probly throw de cigarette thru im window and bun hup de grass.

Den she tart fe tell me sey, when im look dung de henna im block, im see tree man tan hup covered inna white sheet, wid a tarch inna dem hand.

Den hif dat wasn’t bad henuf, dem start fi tamper wid im drinkin wata, dem put drugs inna im food . Hevery where im go, dem show hup houta de blue an block im.

Dis ya custed tory start fi get pon mi nerves, ‘cause me no undastan ow Heverton cyan sekkle fi such foolishness. Hif dis waz Jamica dem wuld light starlight pon dem. We Jamaicans cyan be very terrible when we necessary. Den when mi ere from de shout, de hole ting nevva av anyting fi do wid dem transhaction, it wuz a sssmokescreen. Thru de bwoy haff a few schillin and im kina arrogant, dem decide fe teach im a lesson.

Dere waz no where far im to report dem, me ere sey heven some of de lawman dem inna de sheet wearin fashion.

Dese damn sheet wearers harass de poor bwoy an Ms. Punchinella fambly so much dat Heverton galfren commit suicide. Cyan you himagine.

Dem cyall, cyall de gal hevry minute a change hup dem vaice like  Heverton, den dem paste hup hall kina nasty picsha pon de
hinternet. Punchinella tell me sey dem set hup flim machine inna im
yard, wen im gawn a wuk. Hall a dem private bizness get braodcast
hall ova de wul.

Well hafta me ere dis ya disturbin story, me did hongly haff one
question fi hask. How dese people get dis ya haccess an free reign?
Dem haff odder peple helping dem….

Peple who Heverton trust.

Den fi hadd insult to injury, dem no treten fi haf im deported, den lie to hevrybadie sey im no haff anyting. Dem tell im sey, im muss juss go back a Jamaica hempty handed.

Yu heva see me dyin trial?

Hall me could sey to Punchinella iz dat me knoe a few mad Russian Scientist, an me knoe sey fi a bokkle a white Jamaican rum, dem cyan tek cyare a hanybadie real nice.

Me no haff no tolerance far Racism….an dese daze it seem more prevalent dan anyting helse.

Jus de odder day me inna Nepal Hairport an wan lady cuss me sey. Me fi go back to mi Third Wul Country. Me sey to ar, “Not hunless you comin wid me, cause you haff big chat now, but wen Ms. Dulcie have ar entourage in full hefect…will you haff de gumtion den?”

She nevva sey annader wud, she kinely tek hup ar grip and run to backfoot. Dem de boogeyman people need fi knoe bout de Jamaican Posse dem. Demm no joke you no.
Dem de bredren  demand nuff respeck.

You knoe, dem should go a Jamica an try dat bunning hof de crass crap. De Cunchie peple dem wud  a tun dem into mince meat.

As Jamaicans, we doughn’t bodder anybody, but hif you mess widdus. Yu soul belong to de almighty, ‘caus wen we finish, peple wish dem nevva did bawn.

Fuss hof hall, me no knoe why grown man wan run roun inna sheet? Dem musey haff a blanket complex like Linus in Peanuts.  Haters get a sick satisfaccion from terrarizing people, but you knoe dat Jamicans developed de term “Unda Mannas” and when we put you “unda mannas“ we mean bizness.

Dem iz juss as bad as de Terrorist dem…….At leas dem haf de good sense to parfarm jihad an spare de wul dem presence.

Me wuz so custed hupset bout dis ya hate fest dat me tell Punchie me ketch ar lata. Same time me write wan letta to Oracka Bama, ‘cause me wan knoe ow im cyan haff dis ya sinfullness gweyin on inna im back yard pon his watch. Hit mek im look bad man……….Cho!

Dem no see wey happen to Hitler? Dem mus tek a page houta im book. All de sam peple like dat you leave to God….im haffa nice way fe sekkle dem dung.

Hanyhow, dats all Ms. Dulcie haf fi tell uno bout. Tek cyare an juss vanquish de evil dealings dem. Till nex time…….Uno must stay sweet you ere……..?