Mi dere fans ow iz hall hof uno doin dese days? Lawd! Jamaica hotta dan ell, dat's why me tell hall a de pickney dem fi be good 'cause dem no wan go a ell wey dem hexperience heverlasting heat hall de time.

Well, me waz so hexcited fi get mi letta dem, becauze me waz mos hexcited bout  de new hissue of Peple Magazine. You knoe, Ms. Dulcie like fe relax an read bout de Merkan celebrite dem. Sumtines me get really carried away................ 

De odder day me waz readin bout Miley an ow she get hole heap hof criticism from de people dem bout ar new look. Me no knoe why peple cyan keep dem negativity to dem self.

Me get so fustrated me put  dung de magazine an dose hoff..........

De tradewinds breze did sweet me.........

I waz hin a chapel an dem waz chrisening dis cute likkle baby girle, den hall hof a sudden me ere wan hell hof a naise, like wan harn a blow houtside de chapel. "Pawppawapaaaaa!" Hevrybadie run to de window....When dem look wan hell hof a big ole tractor trailer wid hole eap a lights, a mural hof horses, an plenty  contraption attach to hit, pull hup to de door front hof de chapel. Me sey de tractor trailer light hup de whole place like hit waz christmas.

De poor Parson run fi cover de wey de light dem so bright, hif me nevva did knoe betta me would tink sey him waz wan Vampire.

Hevrybadie waz wandaring who de big ole trailer belong to. Den hall hof a sudden dis tiny, tiny lady, wid sprinkle, sparkle, a bouffant hairdo an ten inch heels descend from de trailer. She waz frantic like anyting, shoutin "Am I late.....I'm here for an important date. I'm going to be the little babies Godmother!"

Heverybadie in de church frighten like backfoot 'cause she did really look like a Godmodder fa true...but a fairy Godmodder. Me nevva see so much sparkle since de Dronkanoo factory close dung. She did look like a pixie.......De hole time me waz a wanda wey ar wand waz.

Den wen time com far dem fi chrisen de pickney, she tell dem sey she bring ar wan houtfit from fareign. De houtfit look like Liberace pocketbook. De likkle baby dress full hof so much glitter, hevry wan a we haffi put on we dork glasses.

Not heven Hingrid could a tek so much bling. Wan piece a "harangatang" between she an de bebbe modder. Hanyway, hafta a while, dem give hup an lek ar dress hup de girle bebe.

Hif dat wasn't bad henough, in a de miggle hof de prayers an blessins...de tiny oman bruk hout ar guitar and start fi sing wan tchune. Wan piece a fabulocious croonin....."I will always love you....." What a sweet vaice. De hentire church waz rockin fram ere till dy kingdom com.

Den in hall hof de "roonkus-poonkus", me see Naomi Judd happear singin wid de petit oman. Den hall hof a sudden dem haskin me if me not going to get sparkilized....Hall me rememba sey is dem shekin me sey, "Ms. Dulcie, where's your sparkle?.......your sparkle.........your sparkle!"

A wake hup hout a de chair so fas....an sheke mi head. Me waz havin wan nightmare.....Iz de custed patty an cocoa bread me nyam before me doze hof readin de magazine.

Me decide fe look dung pon de las page me waz a read.....an guess what?

Me waz dreamin bout Miley Hannah Montana. Me nevva did knoe sey Sparklin Dolly waz ar Godmodda?  A she me mussey did see inn a de dream. What a way de subconscious cyan play ell pon yu.

Hif dem de peple knoe wey me knoe, dem betta be nice to Ms. Dolly God pickney 'cause me did knoe ar wan time in Denbeigh an dem did mess hup har microfone. Well, de likle half-pint oman got so fired hup, me surprise sey dem nevva haffi cyall de Fia Department.

You know wey peple sey inna Jamaica bout tiny oman dem...."Dem likkle but dem tallawah!"

So Miley, Ms Dulcie sey, keep smilin an no mek dem tame yu true spirit. Rock on till nex time folks.

Ms. Dulcimer Peaches Robothom