Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem A Run De Parents!" Blessins to hall hof me loyal fans dem! Ow iz uno keepin dese pass few days? Well, me iz juss gettin me self togadder hafta dealin wid de Hingrid an de Yehuda bakkle, an hall dem mix-hup, mix-hup. Dem de two drain me so till, wid dem drama. Hanyway, tings seem to gawn bak to narmal. Hingrid and de pickney inna Hengland an ongly God knoes wey de Yehuda deh.....But dat's not my bizness, uno ketch mi drift....?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem A Look Far Color?!!!!" Greetins mi lovely fans....Ow iz uno doing dese fine days? Uno gettin ready far Jamaica's 50th Hindependence Celebrecion? A ow...! Ms. Dulcie a get wan pretty frock mek from Ms. Alewecious dung ina Spanish Town...

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Caarbon Copy Images!" Greetings to hall hoff me fans dem in de nyame hof de Halmighty. Ow uno fearin dese unpredictable winter days? Well, thru me inna Jamaica, hit no so cole, but a night time it get kina cool, so me juss wrap hup inna wan shawl fe keep me warm where eva me go.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Marriage iz a joke today!"  Halloo all mi wandarful fans! Ow iz unu all doin? Well, Ms. Dulcie iz bizzy ringin in de New Year! Me an Missa Fowler a spen de New Year quiet, 'cause de yung peple dem get a bit rambunkcious dem ya dayz. So, me sen im go store ow much howas ago fi get sum hegg nog. Hall now mi still a wait fi im fi cum back, im mussey gawn to de fowl coop fi get de hegg dem fi mek de hegg nog.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Eva ere bout de Third Wurl Blonde?" Halloo mi precious fans! Ow hall uno folks doin? Me ope sey uno iz all halright. Well, de Halliday season iz halmost pon it way, an hevry badie feelin anxious 'cause de economy is at a standstill.  Lorks, mi dears, me no knoe wey fi tell huno, de Politician dem a skylark pon de job. Ongly God cyan elp we. One ting is good dough eh, in dese times peple need plenty counseling an dat's whey Ms. Dulcie come in. Praise God!

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "A Wey Dem A Create Hexcitement Far?" Howdy Do to hall a mi fans dem....Me a sen praises an blessins to hall hof uno, hespecially afta de custed Irene carry hon like wan viraga....Lorks haff his mercy, what a sitiation do eh? Hanyhow mi glad sey hall a uno hallright. Praise Jesus sey fi me zinc roof still a heng pon it hinges!

Ms. Dulcie: "Dem A Look Wan Scapegoat!" Greetins in de nyame hoff de halmighty....Ow iz hall a me precious fans dem doing?  Lorks times iz haard far hevrywan an de hinflaccion iz juss risin like a blinkin kite. Me sey me go a de store fi buy sum carbolic soap, pickapeppa an meatkine, a hundreds a Jamaican dollars me spen. A wey dem tink sey me iz?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Wey Wrang Wid Mi Bredda?" Halloo hall hof mi wandarful fans! Ow iz hall hoff uno copin inna de Equata wedda? Lorks haff iz mercy! Ms. Dulcie feel like wan dry lan touris....Mi jussa sweat like wan pig. Praise God far deodorant an toilet wata!

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Mek We See Ow Dem Live!" Howdy-do hall hoff me wandarful fans, ow iz uno doing today? Well, a ope hevrybady feelin good. Uno gettin redy far de Hindependence inna Jamaica. Heh..Heh....see uno inna uno big eel boot an ting, sportin uno black, green an gole.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Omen Iz Unda Siege" Allo dere fans, ow iz all hof uno copin wid de inflacion inna de wul? Lorks hof his mercy! Mi sen Missa Fowla go a Coronation Market de odder day fi get sum mango, guinep, a piece a yam,an a few plantins. Likle mose me haffi martgage mi ouse fi buy dem few tings. Hevryting iz so hexpensive, de price dem jussa rise as hif dem pon crack or cocaine. Iz a real shem an abomination unto de Lawd 'cause wen yu do get de sinthing dem, dem look like wen fowl scratch hout de grung undaneath dem. But see ere....

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem wretched, sweet Lollie Omen!" Greetings an Salutations! Ow iz hall hoff me fantabulous peple dem doin out dere inna de wul? Lorks haff iz mercy! A pure hexcitement appinin pon dis ya planet Eart. Mek me see, fuss dere waz de Royal Weddin, which me crane me nek fi watch pon de custed t.v. thrugh mi nevva wan fi miss wan step a hevryting. Hall now me still a suffa from de lumbago pain inna mi shulda.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Who De Ell Iz Hoscar?" Greetings in de name hof de halmighty! Ow iz hall me fallowers doin dese days. Uno prayin?  Mek sure uno pray yu noh...Cause de wul iz cumin to an end an me no wan no fia an brimstone tek uno wey. Well, Ms. Dulcie iz halright, me have tory fi tell uno bout Hingrid an ar likkle fren.
 

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "A Pure Roonkus Poonkus Gweyin On At Dat De Divorce Courthouse!" Ow iz life treatin yu hall?  Me opin betta dan it a treat me an Hingrid. De blinkin Yehuda im finly hagree fo gey ar wan divorce hafta , months hof im halmshouse behavia. Me sey, dat de bwoy, a go seng me trait to ell pon a wan wey ticket. Hif yu heva ere ow im talk to mi gal pickney uno would a did hembarass far me an she. Him fresh yu see!

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Run, Run,Til Armagaddon Cum!" Howdy-do to hall hof mi wanderful followas! Ow iz hall hoff uno doin dese dayz?  Mi ope sey uno feel betta dan mi a feel. Lawd, me feel so custed mawbid lately.  Hevry letta wey me get fulla doom an gloom an melodrama. Not dat I mine.......

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Yu Usban Iz A Wild, Mad Dawg" Hello mi dere peoples. Ow iz uno hall doing dese ere dayz? Mi ope sey uno Irie despite de ragamuffin wedda conditians dat iz gweyin on inna de wul. Mi sey, dema haff plague inna Haiti, mud slide inna Califarnia an Haustralia, Monson inna Thailand. Lawd! Everyting is so topsy-turvy lately, mi cyan't heven cansantrate pon mi programme, hevry minute dem a pre-hempty mi programme fi natral disasta newscast. But yu eva ere mi dyin trial?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "A Wey Do Ar Dough...... Eh?" Howdy-do hall hoff mi wandarful fans! Lorks Ms. Dulcie burden down wit fretration an bodderation ova de Hingrid she. From she married de custed Yehuda fi ar life is like wan big almshouse. Mi no know wey fi do. She juss give hup pon life. She hup hall night, she nah heat nar drink, den wen she reddy she leff mi gran pickney by arself inna de ouse an gawn a treet. Wey she a do inna de treet iz ongly massa Gad knoe. Hevrybadie  pon de treet she a talk hup, talk hup to. Ar yeye dem a dodge back an forth like sey she pon crack.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Ongly Hingrid............" Praises to de Halmighty fi bring wan nedder New Year to we! Lorks, Ms. Dulcie do so much celebracion fi de Hallidayz, me eayz still a ring from de naise. Well, me iz very hexcited cause wan a Hingrid fren from de Royal Ballet noh write me. Me nevva did knoe sey me hadvise reach hall ova de Wul. Praise Jesus!  Bwoy! It relly quench mi haart fi knoe sey de yung peple dem a lissen to me. Me gwey read de leta far huno.....Juss mek me get mi readin glasses likkle bit....

Ms.Dulcie Sey: "Simady Call 911!" Elo hevrybady out dere inna de Cyberworld! Ow iz all hof uno doin? Well, dis ya heat inna Jamaica haff me runnin roung like a chicken widdout a head.  Lorks hof mercy! What a way it hot hall ova. Me go a Miyami fe get wey from de heat. It hotta dan hell. Mi go a Canada fe cool hoff likkle bit.....Guess what?.....Dem a haff heat wave. 

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem a revolt pon di fancy, shmancy, gal" Hi dere mi wandarful fanz, ow is hall hof uno doin? Lorks a mercy, the yeir just a run hoff so quick, before uno knoe hit, it will be Chrismass. Bwoy iz true wey dem sey, yu no fi rush yu life 'cause time fly quicka dan uman beins. Me no knoe hiff mi get de sayin right but it go sumting like dat.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Tek U Gal Picney in Hand!" Howdy-do all uno folks out dere inna de wul. Ow iz hal hoff uno feeelin dese days? Me feel sey hevry badie inna dem mood dese ere days. We hexperiancing too much crime, hinflation an de damn drug hinfestation. Iz a pity she no haff no bredda fi go pay im a visit. Mek im see ow it feel fi wuk simady ova. What a brute do eh?
 

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Iz De Patty an Cocoa Bread me did eat! Mi dere fans ow iz hall hof uno doin dese days? Lawd! Jamaica hotta dan ell, dat's why me tell hall a de pickney dem fi be good 'cause dem no wan go a ell wey dem hexperience heverlasting heat hall de time. Well, me waz so hexcited fi get mi letta dem, becauze me waz mos hexcited bout  de new hissue of Peple Magazine. You knoe, Ms. Dulcie like fe relax an read bout de Merkan celebrite dem. Sumtines me get really carried away..............

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Wen sunshine an warm wedder de a fareign peple get haunted!" Hi dere fans ow iz uno hall keepin dese days? Well if uno hanswer fenky-fenky dat iz hunderstandable 'cause de wul az we hall knoe hit iz dwindlin away slowly but surely. Well haz uno hall knoe, Ms. Dulcie cyant keep quiet, me hall hova de wul dese pass few days. Me go look fi Hingrid and ar ole relux husband ina Etiopia, den me tek she an de granbebe go a Disney Wul. Hafta dat,  me go traight shru to New Yauk. What a haul an pull hup!

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "It's all bout May Penn!" Ow are mi wanderful fans doin dese days? As, uno hall mussey knoe by now, sey dem a try fi bun dung Jamaica ova wan custed Drug Czar. Me sey, from Tivili Gaardens hall de way back a Roquefort dema bun dung de Police Station dem.  Jamaica Defense Force a run hup an dung de street fi fine dis ya bwoy wey dem cyall Doondoos, Hall dem a do a chase dem hown shadow. De bwoy gawn bout im bizness lang time.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "What a way dem greedy and gravalicious!" Greetins an Salutations to hall of mi readas an lisseners!  Ow iz hall hof uno standin hup to de Recession? Lorks mi deres hevrywhere yu go people is bog dung inna doom an gloom.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "So Wey Dem Hinvite We Fa?" Howdie-do hall hof mi faithful fans! Ow iz hall uno doin dese days?  Well, it seem like de wul gawn topsy-turvy. Wan good ting dough, hafta mi rally dung a de hairport and de Hembassy dem, Ms. Dulcie hiz appy fi hannounce sey dem tek mi hoffa de "no fly list". Cyan yu himagine......?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Yu Hown Peple A Do Yu In!" Ello dere mi fateful fans, ow iz hall hof uno dweyin hout dere inna de corrupted wul. Lorks hof mercy! Mi tiad fi lissen to de news an ere hall of de treacharous tings peple is dweyin fi suvive.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem Ban Mi" Good Mawnin and Good Heveling me wanderful fans! It hall depends pon wey uno iz inna de Wul.  Ow iz hall hoff uno doin out dere pon de Globe?Well tings iz haard all ova fi hevrybadie. Juss de odder day me go look fi Mista Chin who run wan pika-pow shop dung de road, guess wey me fine hout?

Ms. Dulcie Sey, "Redy wen yu are!" What a trial and tribulacion gweyin on inna de Wul? Poor  Haiti get mash-up, mash-up from wan custed eartquake an hevry minute sum "rookus-poonkus" a go hon inna de globe.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Mi sick and tiad fi elp ungrateful peple!" Good Eveling or Good Mawnin to hall hof me faitful fans out dere!  It hall depends on wey uno iz inna de hatmosphere.  Mi ope sey uno did haff a nice time durin de Halliday.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Jesus Christmas! Snow Inna Jamaica!" Ow iz all mi fans dem doing? Lawd! Ms. Dulcie ope uno iz hall okay 'cause de wul seem like it a go topsy-turvy. Nuttin mek sense hanymore, iz pure "haul an pull-up" tings a go on. Well, Ms. Dulcie no ave no letta fi read to uno 'cause.. guess what?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Haaard Times A Bust We Shut!" Ow iz all mi dear frens dem doin hall ova de Wul? Lawd! Ms Dulcie is very cancern dese dayz, az uno knoe me iz a globe travla, an me tell yu sey hevry where me go inna Jamaica, Urope an Merka peple dem a sell hout dem nice, nice tings dirt cheap.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: “How Dem A Look Man?”  Well howdy-do hall hoff you ferulaceous people pon radio, T.V. an Hintarnet Land! Ow is haal a huno doing dese fine days? Well, me glad fi report sey, Missa Fowler is back inna haction an a get pon mi custed nerves, has usual. Hexcept, haal now dem no fine de ole relux dem, you heva see mi dyin trial?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: See Me and Cum liv wid me……..heh! heh!

Ms. Dulcie Sey: De Boogeyman Dem A Come!!!!! Ow iz all you folks doing dese days? Tings iz hard all ova far hevryone, but wid God elp we shall  persevere. Well me juss come back from Reggae Sunsplash inna de Country. Lawd a Mercy!