Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Thou Shall Not Covet Dy Neighbor’s Wife!” My wife and I recently moved to a new town because my company relocated. The relocation was  an alternative to downsizing. Therefore my company opted to save tax dollars by changing cities.  Prior to moving to Oregon, I kept my marriage and private life “under wraps”. No one had met my wife, Selena until we moved to Portland. But, since the company paid to relocate us, it feels as if it has given people a free pass to invade our private lives. We are trying to get acclimated to the environment, but recent events have made it very difficult.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Yu Granpickney is no debil” Cheerio Hevryone! Ow iz uno hall copin wid de Holiday rush? Lorks, me hiz hall chrimassed out because me a go a Hengland soon fi see likkle Precious mi granbebe. Me tink sey me a go need fi get wan separate Jet Liner fi bring de sinthing dem to Hingrid an ar fambly…….Hoops! mi sey fambly…Yes mi dears, Ms. Hingrid she haf wan new bwoyfren name Hans from Sveden…Drama, drama an more drama, but dat is far anedder time.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "What a Bam Bam wid de TSAS!" Frens, fambly an distinguished peoples, ow iz uno hall doin dem ya dawg dayz ere? Tings haad hall ova de wul fi hevrywan, an it nuh sim like anyting a get betta.Owever, iz nat de inflaccion dat gat peoples dung, iz de presant sitiation of de way odder uman beins is treatin dem fello citizens. Me sey, me get bout a dozen letta de odder day 'bout de way de peple dem feel wen dem a travel.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: “How Dem A Look Man?”  Well howdy-do hall hoff you ferulaceous people pon radio, T.V. an Hintarnet Land! Ow is haal a huno doing dese fine days? Well, me glad fi report sey, Missa Fowler is back inna haction an a get pon mi custed nerves, has usual. Hexcept, haal now dem no fine de ole relux dem, you heva see mi dyin trial?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "So Wey Dem Hinvite We Fa?" Howdie-do hall hof mi faithful fans! Ow iz hall uno doin dese days?  Well, it seem like de wul gawn topsy-turvy. Wan good ting dough, hafta mi rally dung a de hairport and de Hembassy dem, Ms. Dulcie hiz appy fi hannounce sey dem tek mi hoffa de "no fly list". Cyan yu himagine......?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Haaard Times A Bust We Shut!" Ow iz all mi dear frens dem doin hall ova de Wul? Lawd! Ms Dulcie is very cancern dese dayz, az uno knoe me iz a globe travla, an me tell yu sey hevry where me go inna Jamaica, Urope an Merka peple dem a sell hout dem nice, nice tings dirt cheap.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Wey Happun To Nu Yauk!" Hallo hall hoff mi wonderful an fateful fans, ow iz hall hoff uno doin? Well a ope uno iz doin well. Miss Dulcie juss get back from ar trip to de big ole Happle an bwoy no hask if he nevva haff wan hole heap a wum.Lorks haff mercy, me nevva cuss an carry on so much inna alla a fi mi bawn life.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: De Boogeyman Dem A Come!!!!! Ow iz all you folks doing dese days? Tings iz hard all ova far hevryone, but wid God elp we shall  persevere. Well me juss come back from Reggae Sunsplash inna de Country. Lawd a Mercy!

Ms. Dulcie Sey: See Me and Cum liv wid me……..heh! heh!

Ms. Dulcie Sey: God Bless The Rainbow Children!

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Jesus Christmas! Snow Inna Jamaica!" Ow iz all mi fans dem doing? Lawd! Ms. Dulcie ope uno iz hall okay 'cause de wul seem like it a go topsy-turvy. Nuttin mek sense hanymore, iz pure "haul an pull-up" tings a go on. Well, Ms. Dulcie no ave no letta fi read to uno 'cause.. guess what?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Mi sick and tiad fi elp ungrateful peple!" Good Eveling or Good Mawnin to hall hof me faitful fans out dere!  It hall depends on wey uno iz inna de hatmosphere.  Mi ope sey uno did haff a nice time durin de Halliday.

Ms. Dulcie: Mrs. Bhoodrasingh’s Troublesome Pickney Dem.... Greetins mi wonderful fans hall ova de wul, well ow hall of you is doin dese days? Lawd, me know de pressha hof de economy haff hevrybady hup inna arms. Jus de odda day me go a Missa Chin Shoppe fe buy wan loaf a hard dough bred……Guess ow much im a sell de bred far?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Yu Usban Iz A Wild, Mad Dawg" Hello mi dere peoples. Ow iz uno hall doing dese ere dayz? Mi ope sey uno Irie despite de ragamuffin wedda conditians dat iz gweyin on inna de wul. Mi sey, dema haff plague inna Haiti, mud slide inna Califarnia an Haustralia, Monson inna Thailand. Lawd! Everyting is so topsy-turvy lately, mi cyan't heven cansantrate pon mi programme, hevry minute dem a pre-hempty mi programme fi natral disasta newscast. But yu eva ere mi dyin trial?

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Ongly Hingrid............" Praises to de Halmighty fi bring wan nedder New Year to we! Lorks, Ms. Dulcie do so much celebracion fi de Hallidayz, me eayz still a ring from de naise. Well, me iz very hexcited cause wan a Hingrid fren from de Royal Ballet noh write me. Me nevva did knoe sey me hadvise reach hall ova de Wul. Praise Jesus!  Bwoy! It relly quench mi haart fi knoe sey de yung peple dem a lissen to me. Me gwey read de leta far huno.....Juss mek me get mi readin glasses likkle bit....

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Praise The Lord! Me Reach A Hollywood! Hi dere mi loyal fans. Well hif it wasn't far unno me wudda neva did reach dis far. Lawd! Look we me live fi see. Me, Ms. Princess Peaches Dulcimer Robothom, a tep hout a wan fancy motor car ana wear wan fancy gown mek by Vivienne Tam.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: What A Way Dem Likkle Chilren "Force Ripe"? The Right Honorable Constance Bartholomew, Jamaica's Special Envoy to Argentina, writes to Ms. Dulcie about "force ripe" children.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Bulldoze The Slum "Landlord"! This month a reader writes Ms. Dulcie about thier granny's home becoming a "tenement yard". Ms. Dulcie gives some strong advice to the Slum "Landlord".

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Oman Can Be So Terrible To One Anodder" In this month's Ms. Dulcie Sey: a writer tells about her horrors of dealing with a female "friend".

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "A Wey Do Ar Dough...... Eh?" Howdy-do hall hoff mi wandarful fans! Lorks Ms. Dulcie burden down wit fretration an bodderation ova de Hingrid she. From she married de custed Yehuda fi ar life is like wan big almshouse. Mi no know wey fi do. She juss give hup pon life. She hup hall night, she nah heat nar drink, den wen she reddy she leff mi gran pickney by arself inna de ouse an gawn a treet. Wey she a do inna de treet iz ongly massa Gad knoe. Hevrybadie  pon de treet she a talk hup, talk hup to. Ar yeye dem a dodge back an forth like sey she pon crack.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Sickness Is A Terrible Ting Do Eh?" Ms. Dulcie goes international and Seh: "Sickness Is A Terrible Ting Do Eh?"

Ms. Dulcie Sey: She Fine Har Hage Paper! Ms. Dulcie in on vacation on the North Coast with people who are acting half thier age...

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Dem Tink Sey Mi Shop Is a Heng Out! My luvly folks, how have y'all been keeping? Mi ope uno halright. Mi so glad sey de festival dem done, 'cause lawd, mi God, don't hask if mi nevva dance out mi longitude an latitude pon de float dem. Check out Ms. Dulcie Sey "Dem Tink Me Shop His A Heng out! "

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Shut Up Uno Mouth! Tap Chat People!" Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Shut Up Uno Mouth! Tap Chat People!" . Don't get Ms. Dulcie worked up.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Sum Human Beins Suffa From A Complex" This month Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Sum Human Beins Suffa From A Complex. She asks the question "how dem cyan act fool-fool" sometimes.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Yu Husban Is a Male Chauvanist?" Mrs. Dulcie gives marital advice to a fan from Italy. " She have wan maddeeks husban, dat mi no know how she no run way from home. Sit tight mi dears, an listen me."

Ms. Dulcie Sey: De Gal Too Mawga? In "De Gal Mawga?" we see how assumptions can really get Ms. Dulcie going.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: "What A Way Dem Buy Bad!" This month Ms. Dulcie tells us why "Befor yu go inna wan store, decide wey yu want. Seek it. Look at it propaly, tek hout yu money and pay far it"

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Tell Dem Fi Keep Dem Merasme Hand to Dem Self! This month Ms. Dulcie gives advice to a married woman who is being harassed on the job by her boss.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Rastaman Capture Yu House! This month Ms Dulcie give advice to a reader whoes home has been taken over by a Rasta man.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Yu no want no "mamparlor" man! This month Ms Dulcie give advice to a reader whoes boyfriend is very neat and proper.

Ms. Dulcie Sey:"Despicable People! Whey Kina Games Dem Playin?" This month Ms. Dulcie get s a letter from an English born Jamaican woman living in Spain looking for advice on why people make fun of her.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Tap Bawl Hout Mi Name! This month Ms Dulcie give advice to a reader who lost her job due to a hearing problem and being harrassed by her former employer.

Ms. Dulcie Sey: Tap S'moke De Sensemelia Students smoking ganja. Tell dem chilren dat Ms. Dulcie sey fi "Tap S'moke De Sensemelia" far hif hit no heal ya, it'll kill ya! Dem knoe mi real good in dem dere parts of de country.