Ms. Dulcie Sey
Ms.Dulcie Sey: "Simady Call 911!" Elo hevrybady out dere inna de Cyberworld! Ow iz all hof uno doin? Well, dis ya heat inna Jamaica haff me runnin roung like a chicken widdout a head. Lorks hof mercy! What a way it hot hall ova. Me go a Miyami fe get wey from de heat. It hotta dan hell. Mi go a Canada fe cool hoff likkle bit.....Guess what?.....Dem a haff heat wave.
Dulcie says: Me Want An American Flag! In " Dulcie:Me Want an American Flag! " reader voice their concerns about why they want to vote in the USA.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem too Blinkin Fast!" This month Ms. Dulcie gives advice on what to do when you have nosy neighbors in " Dem too Blinkin Fast!"
Dulcie Will Tell You: "Rahted! De gal is cuckoo!" In "Rahted! De gal cuckoo!" a young man who thing he is being stalked by a lady he recently met asks Dulcie for advice.
Dulcie Will Tell You: Bad Mind People Is An Abomination Unto The Lord! This month Dulcie dishes out advice on why "Bad Mind People Is An Abomination Unto The Lord!". This is some advice you can't miss...
Dulcie Will Tell You: "Run Like Hell!" Ms. Dulcie is back and this month she dished out advice to a wife who husband constantly compares and criticizes.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem Ole Before Dem Time, Babies Having Babies" How are all my loyal fans doing? Well, a jus cum back from me long stay inna Canada. Bwoy dem Canadians really treat me nice you see. Anyting wey Ms. Dulcie want, Ms. Dulcie get.
Dulcie Will Tell You: "Cooyah!" This month Ms. Dulcie tell us that business and pleasure does not mix.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Strange Tings A Go On At De Golden Globes!" Tally-ho! To hall you people out dere inna T.V. Land! Dis is Ms. Dulcimer Peaches Robothom talking straight to you from de Golden Globes Awards inna Los Angeles, Caliefornia. I am ere wid mi side kick Ms. Puncinella Hortensia Simpsonia.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “What a Bam-Bam!”
Allo me wanderful fans! Ow iz all uno good peple doing hout dere inna de Wul? Well, opefuly uno iz hangin on, elp iz on de way. Oraka Bama win de helection so maybe we will haff wul peace hafta hall. Ms. Dulcie is very bizzy dese days, through me all ova foreign a promote me book cyall, “Dulcieism”. Me go a de Sag Award, me go to de Golden Globes, Me was in Cannes, France and Ms. Dulcie was heven at de Sundance Flim Festival. Hif you heva see me pon de Slope dem, you wuld a fal dung wid hexcitement. Man, when Ms. Dulcimer put hon har gear everybody tap fi look wid shellshock.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: Tings H-a-r-d Everywhere! Aye Mi children! Me just get likkle time fi write to uno. Hernesto was a bust mi shut wid some hole heap a rain. Lawd Jesus! Mi zinc roof fly hoff an hend up clear inna Oracabessa. Me had to get sum plywood from ova Ms. Erasmus yard fi put pon de top hof mi house.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: Bungle Dis Ya Wan Hup An Sen Him To De Home Fe De Aged! Ms. Dulcie gives advise to a lady with a un-romantic older Jamaican man. She says "Sen Him To De Home Fe De Aged!"
Ms. Dulcie Sey: You Down and Out Inna Constant Spring! Ms. Dulcie gives advice to 'You Down and Out Inna Constant Spring!' after he gets a Dear John letter.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: De Gal Richa Dan Gloria Vanderbilt! Ms. Dulcie Sey: My dear peoples' , how is hall yu folks coping wid de cost a livin inna de worl? Mi tel yu, hevryting so deer han sumtimes yu haffi go hall ova tung fi get we yu need.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Lawd Jesus! Dem Kidnap Ms. Palomina Pickney!”
Greetings hall of you folks out dere inna de Universe, Ms. Dulcie iz writin to uno unda some very grievous circumstances. Lorks have mercy! Me cyan heven consantrate, me belly-bottom a gripe me you see. Mek me tell you bout sum very hupsettin happenins inna St. Mary.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “We Nevva Cum Wid Wan Hempty Crocus Bag!” Ow iz hall you folks out dere in de Galaxy doing? I ope uno iz all well. Tings roun de Globe iz getting very cantankerous, iz like people is gweyin Raggamuffin all de way. One Country tunning pon de nex, people revoltin gainst odder people. Iz a shame an abomination wey a go on. De time of Revelation iz at hand.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Dem No Tek No Pride Ina Wey Dem Do!” Ow are hall a uno folks dere doin? Well me an Ms. Precious daughta was a watch de Wul news an it get me so blinkin vex you see. De whole wul is inna a real “roonkus-poonkus” state. De school bus driver dem a lef de pickney dem miles away from dem destination and de Teacher dem a run way from de children dem.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "De Crime ina Jamaica is Trecherous!"
Greetings and Salutations to halla mi frens dem inna de United Nations.. Me ope sey all a uno haf a wanderful Halliday Season. Lawd! Ms Dulcie had a very boddersome time ‘cause me tek hup mi likkle tiad self a go fly all de wey a Hengland fi go meet hup wid Hingrid an Yehuda.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Since mi nomination dem a mek mi life a livin hell!” Howdy out dere hall you patriots an political watchas! Hall hof uno finelly convince Ms. Dulcimer fi run fi hoffice. Is bout three months now since me decide fi run fi Prime Minista hof JA. But me haffi tell uno dat sum very ragamuffin tings is happenin since me decide fi run far Election.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Sandy Wash Wey Mi Rally!” Greetins and Salutations mi dear fanz….Ow iz uno hall mekin hout wid de custed Hurricane an storm dem a brew roung de way?
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Big Tings Gweyin on Inna Jam Dung" Greetings an Salutations hall hof mi wandarful fans! Ow iz unno hall gettin on widd de infalaccion racak-ma-sacka-in unno left and right? Lord ! Hevrybodie haff wan sad sack tory dese days, de wul iz in a delapidated candition doh eh?
Ms. Dulcie Sey: Big Time Rally fi De Jamaicans Abroad! Greetings & Salutations mi dear fans! Ow iz uno hall doin dese days? Well, Ms. Dulcie hup inna harms ova a sitiation me a ere hall ova de place. Mi gal fren Ms. Rumpongo from inna Spanish Town jussa tell me sey she cum from fareign an sum terrible tings gweying on.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "A Wey Dis Ya Bogus Florence Nightengale Cum From?" Howdy –do to hall hoff mi fans hout dere inna de torrid Economy! Me say, hevry day tings iz gettin treacherous far hall a we inna de wul. Inna Jamaica we gawn back to we ole fashin way of doin tings do eh…? We a revolt gainst de system, ‘cause dem is surely givin we a haard way to go!
Ms.Dulcie Sey: "Dere iz no luv in famblies today! Confessions of Cinderella's Stepmother." Hello Mi wandarful fans. Ow iz uno hall doin dese dayz? Lorks haff his mercy! Everyting gawn topsy-turvy. De price hoff tings is gweyin hup hevry day an peple iz losin dem jobs lef an right. What a haul an pull up sitiation do eh?
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem A Run De Parents!" Blessins to hall hof me loyal fans dem! Ow iz uno keepin dese pass few days? Well, me iz juss gettin me self togadder hafta dealin wid de Hingrid an de Yehuda bakkle, an hall dem mix-hup, mix-hup. Dem de two drain me so till, wid dem drama. Hanyway, tings seem to gawn bak to narmal. Hingrid and de pickney inna Hengland an ongly God knoes wey de Yehuda deh.....But dat's not my bizness, uno ketch mi drift....?
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "She a breeze thru wan fartune." Howdy hall hoff mi dear fans, ow iz hall hoff uno doin dese dayz? Lorks, hiff uno felin discouraged wid hall of de custed almshouse wranglings wey gweyin on inna de wul today, mi no blame uno. Peple juss havin wan fiel day doin as dem please, Hevry time me tun on de news, me ere sey man a feel hup, feel hup oman, chilren is havin haffairs wid dem teachas and de holdest profession is tekin centa stage.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Caarbon Copy Images!" Greetings to hall hoff me fans dem in de nyame hof de Halmighty. Ow uno fearin dese unpredictable winter days? Well, thru me inna Jamaica, hit no so cole, but a night time it get kina cool, so me juss wrap hup inna wan shawl fe keep me warm where eva me go.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem A Look Far Color?!!!!" Greetins mi lovely fans....Ow iz uno doing dese fine days? Uno gettin ready far Jamaica's 50th Hindependence Celebrecion? A ow...! Ms. Dulcie a get wan pretty frock mek from Ms. Alewecious dung ina Spanish Town...
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Eva ere bout de Third Wurl Blonde?" Halloo mi precious fans! Ow hall uno folks doin? Me ope sey uno iz all halright. Well, de Halliday season iz halmost pon it way, an hevry badie feelin anxious 'cause de economy is at a standstill. Lorks, mi dears, me no knoe wey fi tell huno, de Politician dem a skylark pon de job. Ongly God cyan elp we. One ting is good dough eh, in dese times peple need plenty counseling an dat's whey Ms. Dulcie come in. Praise God!
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Marriage iz a joke today!" Halloo all mi wandarful fans! Ow iz unu all doin? Well, Ms. Dulcie iz bizzy ringin in de New Year! Me an Missa Fowler a spen de New Year quiet, 'cause de yung peple dem get a bit rambunkcious dem ya dayz. So, me sen im go store ow much howas ago fi get sum hegg nog. Hall now mi still a wait fi im fi cum back, im mussey gawn to de fowl coop fi get de hegg dem fi mek de hegg nog.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "A Wey Dem A Create Hexcitement Far?" Howdy Do to hall a mi fans dem....Me a sen praises an blessins to hall hof uno, hespecially afta de custed Irene carry hon like wan viraga....Lorks haff his mercy, what a sitiation do eh? Hanyhow mi glad sey hall a uno hallright. Praise Jesus sey fi me zinc roof still a heng pon it hinges!
Ms. Dulcie: "Dem A Look Wan Scapegoat!" Greetins in de nyame hoff de halmighty....Ow iz hall a me precious fans dem doing? Lorks times iz haard far hevrywan an de hinflaccion iz juss risin like a blinkin kite. Me sey me go a de store fi buy sum carbolic soap, pickapeppa an meatkine, a hundreds a Jamaican dollars me spen. A wey dem tink sey me iz?
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Mek We See Ow Dem Live!" Howdy-do hall hoff me wandarful fans, ow iz uno doing today? Well, a ope hevrybady feelin good. Uno gettin redy far de Hindependence inna Jamaica. Heh..Heh....see uno inna uno big eel boot an ting, sportin uno black, green an gole.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Wey Wrang Wid Mi Bredda?" Halloo hall hof mi wandarful fans! Ow iz hall hoff uno copin inna de Equata wedda? Lorks haff iz mercy! Ms. Dulcie feel like wan dry lan touris....Mi jussa sweat like wan pig. Praise God far deodorant an toilet wata!
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem wretched, sweet Lollie Omen!" Greetings an Salutations! Ow iz hall hoff me fantabulous peple dem doin out dere inna de wul? Lorks haff iz mercy! A pure hexcitement appinin pon dis ya planet Eart. Mek me see, fuss dere waz de Royal Weddin, which me crane me nek fi watch pon de custed t.v. thrugh mi nevva wan fi miss wan step a hevryting. Hall now me still a suffa from de lumbago pain inna mi shulda.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Omen Iz Unda Siege" Allo dere fans, ow iz all hof uno copin wid de inflacion inna de wul? Lorks hof his mercy! Mi sen Missa Fowla go a Coronation Market de odder day fi get sum mango, guinep, a piece a yam,an a few plantins. Likle mose me haffi martgage mi ouse fi buy dem few tings. Hevryting iz so hexpensive, de price dem jussa rise as hif dem pon crack or cocaine. Iz a real shem an abomination unto de Lawd 'cause wen yu do get de sinthing dem, dem look like wen fowl scratch hout de grung undaneath dem. But see ere....
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Who De Ell Iz Hoscar?" Greetings in de name hof de halmighty! Ow iz hall me fallowers doin dese days. Uno prayin? Mek sure uno pray yu noh...Cause de wul iz cumin to an end an me no wan no fia an brimstone tek uno wey. Well, Ms. Dulcie iz halright, me have tory fi tell uno bout Hingrid an ar likkle fren.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "A Pure Roonkus Poonkus Gweyin On At Dat De Divorce Courthouse!" Ow iz life treatin yu hall? Me opin betta dan it a treat me an Hingrid. De blinkin Yehuda im finly hagree fo gey ar wan divorce hafta , months hof im halmshouse behavia. Me sey, dat de bwoy, a go seng me trait to ell pon a wan wey ticket. Hif yu heva ere ow im talk to mi gal pickney uno would a did hembarass far me an she. Him fresh yu see!
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Run, Run,Til Armagaddon Cum!" Howdy-do to hall hof mi wanderful followas! Ow iz hall hoff uno doin dese dayz? Mi ope sey uno feel betta dan mi a feel. Lawd, me feel so custed mawbid lately. Hevry letta wey me get fulla doom an gloom an melodrama. Not dat I mine.......
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Dem a Shrink Wey De Place!" Mi wanderful correspondants. Ms. Dulcie just get back from South of De Borda. I haf fi sey, a had a luvley time wid de beautiful people dem inna Mexico.
