Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Caarbon Copy Images!"Published Sep 20, 2008
Greetings to hall hoff me fans dem in de nyame hof de Halmighty. Ow uno fearin dese unpredictable winter days? Well, thru me inna Jamaica, hit no so cole, but a night time it get kina cool, so me juss wrap hup inna wan shawl fe keep me warm where eva me go.
Life dese days hectic far me because me a travel hall ova de globe. Me go a Hengland fi see de hingrid she, an me granbebe. Dem me fly go a Etiopia fi sell de custed alms house wey she an de Yehuda buy, an far me show, me a travel to Russia. Lawd Jesus! Me ope sey de plane no lan no where near Siberia, me cyan stan de cole at all!
Ms. Dulcie iz grateful to tell uno sey de fan mail keep comin in, and dem gettin more intrestin dan eva. Bless uno mix-up, mix-up hearts.
Me get wan letta wey confuse de genes outta me......Hit sound like sumting outta de Twilight Zone. Lissen me good.
Dear Ms. Dulcimer:
I am the mother of two sons, one is eighteen and the other is twenty-eight. Life has been strange, in the sense that although my sons are a few years apart, they look exactly alike. Time has matured each of them to equals, physically. They look as if they were identical twins, except one was born several years later. The resemblance is uncanny. They talk the same, they like the same activities and their mannerisms are identical. As a mother, I too have a difficult time telling them apart.
By now, you must be saying to yourself, what's the big deal? So, you have two children that are exact replicas of each other. Well, it has not been quite so simple. My husband and I found out a few years ago, that Sidley, the youngest was using his brother to take tests for him and to be in places when he is not able to go. Occasionally, Ridley used Sidley for dates and other mundane activities. At first, the prank seemed harmless. Then, it got to a point where things started getting dicey. You see Ms. Dulcimer, Ridley got married a year and a half ago, and just about that time we found out that Sidley had developed a drug problem.
Unbeknownst to us, Sidley continued using his brother's identity to pull off all his dastardly acts, such as buying drugs, partying till all hours of the night and most recently, dancing in a gay strip club for money. Everyone, was quite sure it was Ridley who was doing all these heinous activities because of his extroverted nature and boisterous personality. No one really expected overt behaviour from Sidley, because he was always quiet and compliant and never gave us any trouble as a youngster. The "kicker" came when Ridley's marriage ended up on the rocks because his wife grew tired of the tawdry stories being circulated. For us, the nightmare began, when we received a phonecall that Ridley had overdosed in a crack house.
From they were little, I always dressed them alike, even with the age difference neither seemed to have minded. So as they grew older they continued the ritual of dressing alike.
Most people had difficulty deciphering their identities because they always dressed in the same clothing. After we received the phonecall declaring Ridley had overdosed, we were stunned and confused because we had no idea that he took drugs. As far as Sidley was concerned, we thought he was away at school studying diligently to be an Anthropologist.
It wasn't until we went to the hospital and viewed him while he was getting his stomach pumped, that we realized that it was Sidley and not his brother Ridley. The drugs had made him become conniving and clever, he began using fake I.D.S with his brother's name. He even perpetuated the charade by coordinating his antics when he knew his brother was out of town on business, so no one was the wiser. We all just thought that Ridley had just gone wild while on his business trips. We had no idea that Sidley had become so cunning and deceptive.
Thank Goodness! Sidley survived his drug overdose, however, he has left unimaginable carnage behind. He has destroyed his brother's reputation, marriage and the relationship between the two of them. As a parent, it is extremely painful to watch your children imploding with hate and resentment for each other. Since Sidley's journey with drugs, he has gone to Rehab and is trying to keep drug free one day at a time. Sidley has also been going through therapy and we found out that he had hidden resentment to being placed in his brother's shadow. The fact that we dressed them alike, did not help either. We did not know that he was experiencing an identity crisis.
Ms. Dulcimer, everyday I ask myself, how could this happen? We give our children love, support, understanding and compassion and at the end of the day, it all manges to turn into a fiasco. As parents it is hard for us to take sides, yet, we have one son that is in a chaotic battle and another son whose life has been turned topsy-turvy, and he is not sure why.
Ridley is trying to repair the mistrust in his marriage that was caused by his brother's antics, the friends he lost as a result of Sidley using his identity to borrow money and cars. Sidley managed to ruin his brother's good name and trust of his associates with his reckless and selfish behaviour.
Ms. Dulcie, how can we go forward with our family so fragmented and try not to show preference for one child over another. Each day it grows increasing difficult to show unconditional love to Sidley knowing all the damage he as caused at the expense of his brother. Who can really say that he will not do these things again?
Please help us with your advice, we are desperately clutching at straws to keep this family together.
Carbon Copy Mama
Dear Caarbon Copy Mama,
Me sorry fi ere yu drama wid yu bwoys dem, but DNA can make sum freakish tings appen.
Caarbon Copy Images can play tricks on anyone's mind!
Yo knoe sey in Hengland dem did haff twins dat bawn, wan white an wan black? Yes, mi dere dese tings do appen.
Who knoes where we go wrang has parents? It seems to be dat dere may be some hiden jealousy between de two bwoys. Eventhough dere is a hage difference. Maybe Sidley feel slighted in some way regardin uno hattention or love.
De ting me cyan hundastand, is why he would do hall dose terible tings inna im bredda nyame?
De ongly ansa me cyan cum hup wid iz dat de drugs get wan hole a im brain....But yu haffi have sum common sense fi plot hall a dat Jim Schreechy sinthing. Yu may not wan fi ere dis but sumtime we pickney is jus bad and devilish an hiff we nuh ketch it in time, dem fester an grow inna monsters right before we very yeye.
My daughta Hingrid was juss tellin me bout ar frien Tamika an ar modder. Tamika an de modder compete ova everting, an Tamika tek way de modder bwoy fren right befor ar. Sumtimes we do tings as parents to set our chilren hoff. We haffi rememba sey, we cyan go toe to toe wid dem. We are older, so we haffi set de tone. Young peple are crazy and impetuous, so dem bound fi sey anyting and do anyting if hit suit dem. When dem young dem no tink bout consequences, or cause an heffect.
Hall Ms. Dulcie cyan tell uno iz, keep yu two bwoyz close to you, hespecially Missa Sidley, cause him quiet, but inna Jamaica, we haff a sayin, "Still riva run deep". When we tinkin sey our quiet chilren are de mogel fi hexcellence, dem a run rings rung we waist. Most hof de times de wile and crazy pickney dem iz pure fluff an stuff. Dem juss luv fi create hexcitement, an dat's as far az it goes.........
Yu knoe Missa Fowler used to hallways sey to me sumtimes iz nice fi dress like wan lady hof de eveling, juss as long as yu no hact like wan......Nuff said..eh?
Well, Ms. Dulcie prayin far uno fambly. Get Sidley hoff de drugs and evryting will fall into place.Doughn't worry far Ridley. Im iz a s'mart man an hiff fi im wife waz genuine in de fuss place, she will cum rung. Hif not, dere iz plenty of fish inna de sea. Juss rememba sey, de Lawd wuk inna misterious ways an wandars to parfarm.
Stay Sweet Mrs. CCM...Till nex time.