Elo hevrybady out dere inna de Cyberworld! Ow iz all hof uno doin? Well, dis ya heat inna Jamaica haff me runnin roung like a chicken widdout a head.
 
Lorks hof mercy! What a way it hot hall ova. Me go a Miyami fe get wey from de heat. It hotta dan hell. Mi go a Canada fe cool hoff likkle bit.....Guess what?.....Dem a haff heat wave.
 
What a ting do eh?
 
Me tink sey de Wul a shiff closer to de Equator. Yu cyan't heven follow de Meterologist dem, 'cause dem blinkin wrong hall de time.
 
Well, me is hexcited fi hopen hup mi mail dem. Me get bout 12 crocus bag full a letta and caard. Me sey peple hiz so disgusted wid hevery ting....Dem a tun to pen an paypa fi cyalm dem nerves.
 
Me a go siddung good inna mi rockin chair an tell yu bout me hexperiance  a few weeks ago.
 
 Me did get wan letta from wan hof me dere fans. Heh, heh, de  letta did big lika what....When me hopen hit, me fan who mi did cyall "Ms. Forlorn" no sen me two ticket fi go a cancert. Yes mi deres. She sen me plane tickets, an cancert tickets wid backstage pass fi go see sum ban nyame "Rock Roses". Me nevva did ere bout dis ya ban...Hif it not "Toots and de Maytals" or "Freddie Mcgregor", Ms. Dulcie get kina flustered. Hany how, me cyall Hingrid inna Hethihopia fi hask ar hif she know bout de "Rock Roses" dem.
 
Me nevva did heven haffi hask ar, Ms. Hingrid she knoe bout dem, ere ow de wul small.
 
My likkle Hingrid did ar ballerina dancin inna wan a dem video. Cyan yu himagine?
Man, wen mi tell ar se me haff two tickets an stage pass. She was besides ar self. Me nevva see simady drop phone so fass. Inna two-twos she mek preparation fi de baby and waz on a flight from Hethiopia to Jamdung.
 
Me did meet ar at Sangster Hairport an from dere we juss hop on a plane to Californya.
De hole plane ride Hingrid waz a show me pichcha wen she waz wid de Royal Ballet inna Hengland, and dem put de Ballerina dem inna video. Fi me daughta hiz truly a talent, but since she married de Yehuda, fi ar career de pon de back burna.
 
De hentire plane ride Hingrid a comment, "Woweee Mammie! What a nice thing that client of yours did...You really must have helped her well?"
 
Me juss tell ar sey, "Hon accasion me haff sum good hadvice."
 
Wen we reach a de Lax Hairport we had "peple" waitin far hus to tek us straight to de cancert stadium. Me did feel kina nervous, tru mi nevva did go a no cancert far wan lang time.
 
De stadium did pack like a sardine can. Me did so glad sey "Ms. Forlorn" did sen we deluxe tickets, ar helse we wudd been sittin inna de "Penny Section". Yu culd feel de hexcitemant inna de ere, de ban was a tchune hup dem hequipment....hall hof a sudden de place get dark, and wan hole heap a psychedelic light an s--s-smoke start fi go on.
 
Me tun to Hingrid an sey, "Rahted dem mussey haff hequipment failya?"
Hingrid laugh.
 
"No Mammie, they are getting ready to start."
 
De next minit, wan likkle guy widd raven hair an a bandana run hout pon de stage inna snakeskin pants a wan t-shirt dat look like it was mauled by a tiga. Me sey, "Lord haff hiz mercy! Dem set a mad man loose pon de stage".
 
Me nevva see simady haff so much henergy inna mi life. Me did feel tiad juss lookin at im a run roung de stage singing an dancin.
 
Inna de miggle hof im tird song, mi see de Singa drop pon de floor. So poor me, did tink sey, hit waz part hoff hiz hact. Heverybady inna de crowd sigh wan big "Ahhhhh!"
Den we nevva see de man move far a few minutes. De guitar playa run hova to im, an waza shake im, but dem nevva did get no respanse.
 
De crowd start fi get resless. Inna de miggle hof de crowd me ere wan Jamaican vaice cyall hout, "Simady cyall 911!"
Wen me tek a good look.....No wana Marley son dem.
 
Bwoy peple halways mek joke an sey, " Yu cyan fine a Jamaican anywhere inna de Wul".....but dis waz a surrel hexperiance. Wen we ere from de shout, dem cancel de cancert because de Singa haffi get rush a horspital.
 
De whole way back home pon de red-eye flight me an Hingrid did nervous yu see. We pray hall de way back a Jamdung. Hingrid ketch back a flight ome to ar fambly an me went straight back a mi yard fi see hiff me could get hany news bout de Rock Roses guy. Hevryday, me cyall mi contact dem bout news, but it was a hush-hush sitiation.
 
Finally, hafta a couple a weeks Hingrid cyall me an tell me sey, iz a anurism im did haff we mek im drop dung. Me did tink sey im did dead, bu tank God im life get spare. Dat's why yu cyan't joke wen yu feel sick or yu head a urt yu. It could be a blood vessel waitin juss fi pop. Dat singa an im fambly iz very blessed, God not ready far im yet.
 
You knoe, dat's why me try not fi get too hupset........ 'cause anyting cyan happen. Dat's why me drink mi sowa sop juice fi keep mi pressure low. Stroke an anurism is two sickness dat peple rarely recova from.
 
Me did rememba Ms. Alowecious youngest daughta Primrose did fall dung inna de bathrume hall hoff a sudden. By de time dem carry ar go a Horspital, she dead. De hongly ting Ms. Alowecious did ere ar complain bout is dat ar head a urt ar an she did feel nauseous. Juss so, de peple dem nice pickney juss dead. De hole ting did grieve me heart yu see.
 
Me hallways tell Missa Fowla not fi kill hout imself inna de hot sun, cause im cyan get heat stroke or an anurism an drop dead. When im gawn de wul will still be goin on wid dem chupidness. So, hit iz best to tek cyare of we helth...eh?
 
So, to "Ms. Forlorn" a haffi sey tank yu very much far de tickets dem an de hexcursion and to de Rock Star hall me cyan sey iz, "No ova hackle yu self too much, cause yu fambly need yu more dan de vinyl an cd peple dem".
 
Till next time Ms. Dulcie Sey, "Peace and rock on Hevrybody!"
 
 

Tags: Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Simady Call 911!"