Jamaican Culture
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Eva ere bout de Third Wurl Blonde?"
Published Aug 20, 2008Halloo mi precious fans! Ow hall uno folks doin? Me ope sey uno iz all halright.
Well, de Halliday season iz halmost pon it way, an hevry badie feelin anxious 'cause
de economy is at a standstill.
Lorks, mi dears, me no knoe wey fi tell huno, de Politician dem a skylark pon de job. Ongly God
cyan elp we. One ting is good dough eh, in dese times peple need plenty counseling an dat's
whey Ms. Dulcie come in. Praise God!
But fuss, mi haffi tell uno bout dese developments dat me an Hingrid was chattin bout.
When peple tink bout Jamaica dem rarely tink sey Jamaican haff blonde peple...but you knoe,
we do. We hall haff peple who speak German, Chinese any any odder language yu cyan tink
bout. Anyhow, what mek dis convasation so disturbin is dat de Hingrid, she waz tellin me bout
dis girl wey hevry badie chat bout. Me sey, dem chat de poor gal bad yu nuh......!
Dem cyall ar wan dumb blonde, because she is very naive an sweet. Dem say ow she haff
implants an look like Barbie. Not ongly does she hact blonde, she is a real third wurl Jamaican
blonde. Uno eva see a Third Wurl Blonde Yet?
They do hexist..... Me an Ms. Hortenson from de Geneological Society get fed hup wid dem pickin de gal
hapart, so has a goodwill heffort we trace de girl roots back to har ancesters dem inna Scotland,
Ireland and India, back to Jamaica, an aldough she is Jamaican,
de gal iz no phoney baloney, she no haff no ragga-ragga roots inna ar.....
Dem harrass de girle so much, dem mek ar haffi cyarry hon like market oman...What dem
hexpeck?
When yu push a person to de limit dem a go herupt pon yu.
Through she is Jamaican dem mussey believe she hidin are "ghetto" ways.
Most foreigners hexpect hall minorities to be "ghetto".
Hingrid tell me sey, dem cyall ar de "Valley Girl" 'cause she act like a blonde, she talk like a
blonde an she tink like a blonde. You know what is heven stranger.....? She has no clue.
She seriously thinks she is de norm.
Mi no knoe why peple iz so unkind, God mek hevrybady diffrent an I firmly believe sey
peple is a sum hoff dem surroundings. Me no like ow dem pick ar apart at all.
Fuss, dem chat ow she skinny an look malnutrition. Den, she gain wan hole heap a weight, an
den dem chat ow she fat an tubby-tubby. Dem pick pon ar like a crow pickin at a dead caucus.
Hall me haffi sey bout de hole gossipy affair iz dat inna Jamaica we haff hall kina peple, an dem
juss grow az Jamaican. But, wen dem go a fareign, if dem look likkle bit diffrent from de
haverage Jamaican, dem get a h-a-a-r-d way to go, an dat is wrong!
'Cause wen me ere dis girle chile talk, she is strictly Jamaican, so why dese custed roonkus-
poonkus peple no leff ar alone an mine dem bizness?
You knoe why dem won't mine dem bizness? 'Cause if dem no chat bout she...Dem no haff
nuttin helse fi chat bout. Dem fi knoe sey, God iz listenin an tekin notes, so wen dem is on an
hexpress trip to hell, dem muss rememba sey, is thru dem waz a fass inna simady bizness
why.....
Dat's hall Ms. Dulcie haffi sey pon de subjeck.
Me juss tell Hingrid dat gossipin iz not a good pastime an she muss hexercize ar own mind pon
de situation. Me hallways tell peple, try travelin a mile in de person shoes yu chattin bout, an
see ow it feel. Den, yu will haff a hole new parspective.
An to Ms. Blondie, hall me haffi sey iz, "You go girle! Blondes have more fun, and Jamaican blondes haff de bes a
both wurls. So, cheer hup, de bes iz yet to come!"
Till nex time, stay sweet an be good!
Dulcimer Peaches Robothom
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More from Ms. Dulcie Sey
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Thou Shall Not Covet Dy Neighbor’s Wife!” My wife and I recently moved to a new town because my company relocated. The relocation was an alternative to downsizing. Therefore my company opted to save tax dollars by changing cities. Prior to moving to Oregon, I kept my marriage and private life “under wraps”. No one had met my wife, Selena until we moved to Portland. But, since the company paid to relocate us, it feels as if it has given people a free pass to invade our private lives. We are trying to get acclimated to the environment, but recent events have made it very difficult.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “Yu Granpickney is no debil” Cheerio Hevryone! Ow iz uno hall copin wid de Holiday rush? Lorks, me hiz hall chrimassed out because me a go a Hengland soon fi see likkle Precious mi granbebe. Me tink sey me a go need fi get wan separate Jet Liner fi bring de sinthing dem to Hingrid an ar fambly…….Hoops! mi sey fambly…Yes mi dears, Ms. Hingrid she haf wan new bwoyfren name Hans from Sveden…Drama, drama an more drama, but dat is far anedder time.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "What a Bam Bam wid de TSAS!" Frens, fambly an distinguished peoples, ow iz uno hall doin dem ya dawg dayz ere? Tings haad hall ova de wul fi hevrywan, an it nuh sim like anyting a get betta.Owever, iz nat de inflaccion dat gat peoples dung, iz de presant sitiation of de way odder uman beins is treatin dem fello citizens. Me sey, me get bout a dozen letta de odder day 'bout de way de peple dem feel wen dem a travel.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: “How Dem A Look Man?” Well howdy-do hall hoff you ferulaceous people pon radio, T.V. an Hintarnet Land! Ow is haal a huno doing dese fine days? Well, me glad fi report sey, Missa Fowler is back inna haction an a get pon mi custed nerves, has usual. Hexcept, haal now dem no fine de ole relux dem, you heva see mi dyin trial?
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "So Wey Dem Hinvite We Fa?" Howdie-do hall hof mi faithful fans! Ow iz hall uno doin dese days? Well, it seem like de wul gawn topsy-turvy. Wan good ting dough, hafta mi rally dung a de hairport and de Hembassy dem, Ms. Dulcie hiz appy fi hannounce sey dem tek mi hoffa de "no fly list". Cyan yu himagine......?
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Haaard Times A Bust We Shut!" Ow iz all mi dear frens dem doin hall ova de Wul? Lawd! Ms Dulcie is very cancern dese dayz, az uno knoe me iz a globe travla, an me tell yu sey hevry where me go inna Jamaica, Urope an Merka peple dem a sell hout dem nice, nice tings dirt cheap.
Ms. Dulcie Sey: "Wey Happun To Nu Yauk!" Hallo hall hoff mi wonderful an fateful fans, ow iz hall hoff uno doin? Well a ope uno iz doin well. Miss Dulcie juss get back from ar trip to de big ole Happle an bwoy no hask if he nevva haff wan hole heap a wum.Lorks haff mercy, me nevva cuss an carry on so much inna alla a fi mi bawn life.
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