This is Dulcimer Robothom again, writing to you wid all de problems of de world pon mi brain. I haf been so busy wid all de letters and cards you wanderful folks haf sent me. Mi nevva knoe sey peoples' lives fulla so much mix-up, mix-up. Hany how, mi glad all de same, cause it keep mi cupbard dem fulla ovaltine an harse biscuit. Wait likkle bit mek mi pull up wan chair an tek a good read from dis letta mi receive today.

Dear Ms. Dulcie:

I am a married woman who is writing to you from Ocho Rios in Jamaica. I just started working at this mineral company, and I am already having reservations about this place. From the first day I went there they were disorganized and seemed very unprofessional. However I dismissed my negative thoughts, telling myself that's why they were hiring me.

Initially, I was startled at the casual way the girls in the office were flirting with the owner and he seemed to be enjoying the attention. They were all dressed in really tight jeans, and skimpy blouses, which left little to the imagination. Since I previously worked in a very corporate environment, it made me uncomfortable. However, I figured I was there to do a job, so I basically minded my own business. Until recently, when the boss came over to me and asked me why I don't dress like the other girls in the office. I asked him what he meant by that and he replied, "You should dress more sexy." He then attempted to hike up my skirt. I responded with a stern, "Excuse me!" A few days passed without any unusual happenings and then he started becoming very "touchy feely". I coaxed myself into thinking that I must have misunderstood his gestures until recently when he pinched me on my behind.

He then began to sport a sheepish grin. At that point, I was repulsed to my stomach. I left my desk, and went into the ladies room to compose myself, because my initial reaction was to whack him with the file I had in my possession. Thank goodness that I was able to think things through. I finally mentioned the incident to one of the girls in the office and she said, "What's the big deal? He does it to all of us. There are perks to being the boss's "pet".

Well, after that answer I realized there was only one thing to do, and that was to get a man's perspective on the situation. So I told my husband. He swears that this man is a pervert and that there is a whole lot of "hanky-panky" going on in that office. He definitely wants me to quit. Please tell me what I should do, since we are expecting our first child in eight months?

Sincerely,
Working With a Sly Fox

Dear WWASF:

Dis wan tek di cake! Is a beauty pagent imma run or wan busness. De man is harrassing you mi chile. He is a sicko, for who would bodder a pregnant oman? Dem de gal wey wuk de, dem is harlot and ole heeden. Wey kina place is dis? Me nevva knoe no where weh people have on tight-up, tight-up clothes. Not even pon dress dung day. My dear chile you sey you working far a mineral company, but mi haf news fi yu. A Soddom & Gommorrah you wuk inna. Dem de gal no hardinary gal. Dem a moonlight, if you kno whatta mean? Understand Me?

Im is de Rooster and dem is him special hens. De man a run a harem in de middle of mi favorite town! Mi dear, de only hadvise I can give yu is to leave dat place immediately and don't look back! Dere is halways annoder job, but dis man is leadin up to someting rotten. Unless you henjoy being a rag doll. I suggest you gi im notice an mek yu usban come dere regularly till yu leave.

You know de ole sayin , "Duppy knoe who fi frighten?" I bet yu when im see im, im will start actin meek and mild. Just tek you time an ease outta dere. Dem is a corrupted people. Neva mine sweetheart, a knoe you hexpectin, but the lord will mek a way far you.

In de meantime tell de blasted man to keep im merasme hand dem tu imself or yu gwey tek macca an juk im!

Till next time.

A Seething Ms. Dulcie