Many say love is a very splendored thing, however my Granny had differing views when it came to matters of the heart. She felt that two people should be well-suited for each other and that it was important that they were going in the same direction and not taking each other off their predestined course.

Her personal view was that Love was a matter of destiny and a test in suitable matchmaking by the Universe. Granny Gheeta knew love should not be forced or manipulated, if it was meant to be, then all matters would flow accordingly.

Granny Gheeta would often explain, that in life, women and men tended to get persuaded into falling in love when the object of their desire was not what they really wanted. It was her observation, that they would forego all the negatives of a relationship just to declare that they had acquired a paramour at their side.

Granny often gave her female granchildren a hard time when it came to matters of the heart because she felt that they had a tendency to follow-up situations that had no relevance to the endurance of their realtionships.

In her mind, she was convinced it was an Art to keep the interest of a husband/wife, or boyfriend/girlfriend. She often frowned when her grandchildren got carried away by the "Fric and Frac" syndrome. The time in a relationship when one or both partners find it absolutely necessary to spend each waking moment together, until it got to the brink of cloying observers' stomaches and irritating themselves.

Her views on love were reminiscient to the teachings of the poet Khalil Gabran. Love only happened over many years of knowing each other and experiencing the thorns that life had to offer. In her mind, she felt it was during these times that Lovers found out what their partner was made of. She felt that clinging or holding on too tight to someone, only pushed them further away, because the heart needed time to practice the art of missing the object of one's affections. Granny Gheeta often emphasized that love was a state of mind and that it was possible to be away from someone and still feel very connected.

When any of her grandchildren had a meltdown regarding their relationships because they were quarreling for more time or attention. She would always respond. "Sometimes all that togetherness is not good, you have to give each other space, so that you miss each other."

Granny often commented, "If two people become like Fric and Frac, joined at the hip, after a while, one or both partners will get tired and move on to greener pastures. Like plants, love needs space and oxygen to grow.

During her lifetime, Granny was privy to many dramas of teenage boyfriend/girlfriend scenarios. The complaints were always the same, "Granny, he/she doesn't spend enough time with me, or why can't we do things together?"

Granny abhored these pesky complaints because she knew that if each person lived their life normally and kept their committment in mind,  the relationship would eventually progress to an ultimate meeting of the minds.

She always scolded, that it was not necessary to always become suspicious of your paramour if he/she wanted to go off on a tangent. Her thoughts insinuated that some men had a tendency to want to explore life, and it was a woman's place to distract herself with other important matters. If one ignored these moments and did not  succumbto a man's flakiness, a woman would eventually see the rainbow on the other side of the relationship.

Granny Gheeta was sure that if one chose to compete with a partner or keep score of their misgivings, it would lead  to a path of whackiness and unhappiness. It was setting each otherup for a lifetime of misery.
 
Playing Nancy Drew or Ellery Queen whenever a love interest acted  "off kilter" would only end up to a well deserved stay in Bellevue.

My Granny often stressed thedifferences between men and women, and how they loved differently. It was her opinion, that a smart woman would rise above any occasion a man subjected her to, and that a man would eventually surrender to a woman who gave him a "run for his money".

It was her staunch belief, that even after marriage it was important for both parties to keep the mystery going. Therefore, it was prudent for both parties to nix the idea of "shacking up" before marriage.

It was more exciting and fun to let the drama of every day living unfold after the "I Dos".

When it came to matters of the heart Granny Gheeta was like a genie in a bottle, she understood that love did not run smoothly; however if each partner operated on their own frequency, while knowing the secret of being spiritually connected to each other, there wasn't a need to  have a dead man's hold which would eventually strangle the relationship.

All of Granny's teachings about relationships and love seemed to be overly ambitious, and a goal to attain, but with maturity it all seemed to make sense. If we started relationships in a disciplined manner with positive end results in mind, there would not be a chance to lose at LOVE. Allowing it toreveal itself gently, and magically like a rose, would eventually bring about the results we yearn for.

Tags: Granny and I: Granny Gheeta and The Fric and Frac Drama