Most people say that youth is wasted on the young, primarily because they are full of energy and zest. Young adults and teenagers tend to waste all their positive energies on people and things that turn out not to be worth their while.
 
There are only two drawbacks to being young, the lack of discernment and wisdom.
 
When a person is young, they are free to make the wrong choices, dabble in the wrong activities, until someone, usually a parent, says, "Enough is enough! Let's put an end to the foolishness."
 
In youth, many Teenagers may drink themselves to oblivion or take drugs until their bodies have experienced enough, or until they simply die.
 
Some may party beyond "1999", and become the Golden Aged Disco Diva, wearing the spandex pants on the dance floor, long after the party has ended and the strobe lights have been dimmed.  Others may end up being the man who is left staring at the disco ball wondering what happened....., while the music continues to play in his mind.
 
Jamaican parents are notorious for holding very tight reigns on their children. They have to know who they are consorting with, where they are going and who else is going to be there.
 
I don't believe there is a Jamaican parent in existence who wants to go around gushing to everyone, that their daughter or son is a Nomad or Dance Hall expert.
 
It is not uncommon for a Jamaican Mother or Father to put the "kabosh" on your good times by  calling ahead to your destination or stomping grounds. Their forte' is alerting the troops, informing them that you are on your way to "dilly-dally" or make a blithering idiot out of yourself.
 
The "hired guns" usually stay close by, but not too close that anyone might suspect. However, after many years of being cloistered by Jamaican parents one eventually gets the drift.
 
In the Caribbean Community, word travels like wild fire, therefore it is prudent to always be on your "P's" and "Q's" because you never know who is watching and they may take a negative report back to you family.
 
My Granny and I never usually argued, but when we did, it was about the "fun principle".
 
When you are a Teenager and the social scene becomes your world, you tend to be dramatic if you don't attend every social affair or get asked out.
 
While the hormones are raging and life is passing you by, sometimes the reasoning of an older person can  irk your nerves.
 
"Granny would always say, why you want to go out and party? Too much party is not good you know."
 
Then, I would comment, "Oh Granny, I never do much....Just this once would be great!"
 
Granny would shake her head, "Yes, that's what the Devil probably said to Jesus..."
 
Teenagers always feel it is the end of the world if they don't participate in every event that is noteworthy.
The truth is, as you get older you realize all the things that you wanted and sought.....was pure hype.
 
My Granny's words of wisdom, "Stop chasing the world, let the world come to you", still resonates in my mind several decades later.
 
The words become extremely poignant when I have attended a party that would be coveted by most people, and at the end of the night, I would ask myself, "Is this all there is....?"
 
It reminds me how silly I was as a Teenager to feel that life was passing me by, while everyone else was having a good time.
 
For the few moments that you have a couple of laughs, drink a little and dance a lot. At the end of the night, I am sure, if most people thought honestly, they would ask themselves the same question.
 
"What is it all about Alfie?"
 
I remember there were times in my teenaged life that I felt like a Martian being excluded from social occasions. I often felt, I was the image of a neon, green thumb sticking out amongst everyone else.
 
Granny would try to comfort me with her old Jamaican sayings, such as, "Don't think you can meet someone on the dance floor and expect it to last. The same way they dance into your life is the same way they will waltz out quickly."
 
My response was always, "Granny, our times are different...It's not like in your ancient times."
 
Now, I realize that my Granny was wiser than any Soothsayer. The definition of "fun" is an illusion that people use to lure you away from your path.
 
Life is meant to be serious and contemplative, because when you concentrate on the "fun principle" or rush into anything too fast, it always dies a natural death, quickly.
 
Granny's comments on Teenager's dalliances would be, "The fire will fizzle as quickly as it was kindled."
 
She often reminded her grandchildren to look before they leaped, because although people, places and events may seem fine and dandy. Most times, there is more to the situation than meets the eye.
 
A man or woman don't usually show you their negative sides when you are embarking on a new relationship. It is only after they have you in the midst of the ocean, before they start revealing the shady aspects of their character.
 
I have never met anyone who exuded directness by saying, "Hi, my name is so and so, and I am bi-polar, or a hypocrite....or a cheater."
 
Human nature teaches us to hide the true aspects of ourselves, because we think that if people really knew our true personnas they would run for cover. But time and age teaches that there is unconditional love.
 
True friends and family will embrace and respect you for being yourself, despite your altered egos.
 
The funny thing is, as I look back on my teenage years, I realize that I was always my crazy, rambunctious self. Granny really did not have to worry because I was ahead of my time.
 
I was outrageous then, and I am outrageous now. The difference is, Granny's words have taught me to be comfortable with my forthrightness.
 
It is a tough road, because people may not like you, and because of that, you will sit out many dances. But the beautiful part about the world chasing you is that, when you own up to who you really are and what you stand for, folks will gravitate naturally, towards you. It is the law of attraction.
 
Therefore, to all those people who feel like they have to keep up with the "in" crowd an be a "follow-fashion", my words of wisdom are..."Stop play poppy-show and be yourself, the life you seek is waiting to unfold right in front of you."
 
I'm sure if Granny was here, alive and well, she would say, "Amen! I second that!"

Tags: Granny and I talk about New Beginnings