Jamaica

In Europe most people usually vacation on the Riviera or visit America. In America people either flock to the Caribbean or Europe. However in Jamaica, we tend to look forward to vacationing locally. Jamaica has fourteen parishes and each one has a different flavor and atmospere. That is why most Jamaicans enjoy spending leisure time in the "country parts" or on the North Coast. Places such as Negril, Port Antonio and Montego Bay, have rapidly become international playgrounds for Jamaicans and the rest of the World. So when Granny came up with the idea of taking a sabbotical to visit Uncle Gee in Clarendon, I was besides myself with joy.

Most of my Summers were spent on Uncle Gee's farm, I loved visiting the farm because there were always cousins to play with and lots of interesting activities to participate in. Although I was a constant visitor to the farm, I had never visited with Granny, so this time would prove to be quite a special adventure.

When Uncle Gee came from Clarendon to get us in Kingston in his semi-truck, I was so excited because that meant we rode in the back with the wind in our hair. It was quite funny actually, because Granny was always a good sport. She rejected to sit in front and sat in the back of the truck with the us children. Well, as we started cutting through the bumpy country roads at high speeds, Granny's hair started to unravel in the wind and her handkerchief flew away, and the bumps started making her nauseous.

Granny yelled, "Mr. Gee dahling, you can stop the truck so I can sit in front? The air is a bit much for Auntie." So after surrendering a few handkerchiefs to the Jamaican countryside Granny acquiesced, and decided to sit up front.

A few hours later we arrived on the farm. As usual, we received a welcome fit for royalty. The entire family, the helpers, and the ranch hands were there to greet us.

Our first day was celebrated by a big feast, where there was roast pork, curry goat, manish water and cow peas soup. My cousins and I went into the barn and played dominoes as if we were older adults, slamming the dominoes, pretending to be seasoned players, while the adults and Granny would eat and talk. Granny didn't eat meat except for chicken, so she had her own feast of chicken and vegetables. Then, at the end of the evening, to start off the holiday on a good note, she prayed for everyone on the farm and sang her usual medleys of christian songs.

The first morning, we woke up at 5:00 a.m. by kachi, this was a whistle that made noise like a rooster around the surrounding farms in the area. If that wasn't alarming enough, Granny began her mini-concert of church hymns and we all had to participate.

Granny then took me by the hand and said, "Mags, today you are going to learn how to feed the chickens and collect the eggs. I am going to show you how to appreciate country life."

I said, "Granny there is no way, I am going into that coop, suppose they pick at me? You know Gran, You can take a girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl."

"Magsie, spare the gibberish for the Kingstonians, all you have to do is go cluck, cluck, and they will think you are one of them." Granny smirked.

I replied, "Ok, Granny, I'll do it if you come in there with me."

So Granny and I went in the coop and fed the chickens corn, and for the first time I collected eggs for breakfast in the morning. My heart was pounding decibels as I conducted my morning chore, but what a sense of accomplishment I felt, when I saw how many eggs I had gathered!

I then turned to Granny in an excited manner and told her, "Granny I'm ready for our next mission, what's next?"

Granny remarked, "Well, lets take a walk to the Mango Grove. Let's find your Uncle to go with us and we'll pick some mangoes."

I looked all over the farm for Uncle Gee or "Busha" as they call him on the range, but it seems as if he had gone to Denbeigh, an Agricultural Fair. So Granny and I took my younger cousin as a chaperone and we started off to the Mango Grove.

It was a delightful, scenic exploration. You could see the cows grazing, the donkeys resting and the tractors cutting the grass. Everything was rather pleasant until I stepped in "cow witch". Well, if I didn't know what cow witch was then, I certainly found out. It is synonymous to touching poison ivy, I was itching and itching. Luckily Granny, the Mary Poppins that she was, had some camomile lotion in her purse. A little drop helped to soothe my itching skin, my untimely meeting with cow witch didn't stop our outing. In between itches I continued on the trail. We climbed over brooks and some reeds, that's when we all acquired some sticky weeds on our clothes and hair. I started telling Granny that I was a bit uncomfortable, and that I didn't think that it was a good idea. Granny told us not to worry, "Remember, Jesus in the wilderness, after forty days and forty nights he found his way."

I answered her, while itching. "Granny, I don't know if we'll last forty minutes."

"Never mind my love, let's keep going."

We asked some ranch hands for directions, and in true Jamaican fashion they told us, "Oh, its just down the road, you soon reach the grove."

Yeahh, right! Four miles later, sun burnt, thirsty and aggravated, we arrived to the grove. By this time we were all so tired we didn't have the energy to pick the mangoes. Anyway, Granny came up with the most astonishing solution.

She decided, if we took a dip in the stream, it would revive us from being parched and give us the energy we needed to collect mangoes, and then journey back to the house.

We jumped into the stream with our clothes on, and splashed around for a while. We were so refreshed by Granny's magnificent idea, that we started singing our made up song, "Country life is the best life for us...la, la, la..."

We looked up and suddenly we saw two bulls charging towards our direction, I asked my cousin Jani, "Why are they coming towards us?"

She said, "Because we're wearing red."

I thought, that's rich who knew that the cows were fashion conscious?

"Jani, Granny, any bright ideas on how we are going to get out of this one?"

With minutes to spare, Granny said., "Let's all hold hands....."

I said, "Granny, I don't mean to interrupt, but this is no time for cumbayas!"

"No! I know, I was just trying to say, hold hands, and on three, head for the closest mango tree. 1-2-3..."

We ran faster than Donald Quarry at a relay race in Jamaica. I didn't even know that Granny was capable of moving so fast. Just in time too, the bulls were hovering at the side of the river. I guess this was our incentive to pick mangoes. We made it to the trees afterall.

I was motivated, and I gathered the rest of my company were as well. The good news was, that we collected dozens of mangoes, and we feasted on mangoes to pass the time. However, we needed to figure out how we were going to outsmart the bulls in order to get back to the house. Jani saw a fence. If we could get over the fence, then we would manage to surpass the bulls and would be home free. There was only one catch, we had to disguise our clothes in order to get to the fence. Why ire the bulls anymore than we needed to!

Granny gave us a few handerchiefs she had in her purse and some safety pins. We camouflaged with the kerchiefs and pinned some leaves on ourselves.

We used our 1-2-3 strategy and tossed the mangoes over the fence, and then ran under the barbed wire, we were on our way home to the house.

We all yelled "Yipppee!!!"

Granny managed to leave a piece of her scarf on the fence. But we were so happy to have survived the bulls that returning to the fence was not an option. So feeling content, yet exhausted we whimsically sauntered back to the house.

After we arrived at my cousin's house, I said to Granny, "Ready for our next adventure tomorrow?"

Granny answered, "Lord have mercy! I have barely recovered from today! I think we should spend the rest of the holiday crocheting and praising the Lord!"

"Geez Granny, I was so looking forward to milking the cows, planting the crop, oh yeah, and being trampled by the donkeys! C'mon Gran how about a game of cricket?"

Granny didn't say a word.

"Hmmmm, maybe next time?"