Granny Gheeta was a stern disciplinarian, however, she was a wizard at doling out her affections and reprimands at the same time. Granny would often scold you dreadfully one minute and the next, she would be indulging your ever wish and desire. Then, she would justify her actions by saying, “ I love you that is why I scold you and to show you that there aren’t any bad feelings being harbored, I am sprinkling the unkind words with bits of sugar.”
Granny Gheeta was a stern disciplinarian, however, she was a wizard at doling out her affections and reprimands at the same time. Granny would often scold you dreadfully one minute and the next, she would be indulging your ever wish and desire. Then, she would justify her actions by saying, “ I love you that is why I scold you and to show you that there aren’t any bad feelings being harbored, I am sprinkling the unkind words with bits of sugar.”
In my early years, the” sweet and sour” actions of Granny were often confusing, so one day I decided to quiz Granny on why she would often act in bizarre ways that seemed inconsistent
with her character.
I said, “Granny why do you punish us one moment and the next, you are as nice as pie?”
Granny seemed a bit startled and then responded, “Well, I just don’t want you children thinking I am an easy step over, and besides, we don’t want people to think you are all spoiled brats.”
I shook my tiny head for a moment because I was having a bit of difficulty grasping Granny’s explanation. I then replied, “What people Granny…Who cares if you spoil your grandchildren or not?”
She thought for a second and then responded hesitantly, “Well, by people, I mean the penny section, naysayers…You know, the people who view lives and families from the outside and then come up with their own interpretation of the family's dynamics.”
I was still not satisfied with Granny’s response, because deep down I knew Granny was not one of those people who really cared what other’s thought of her or her family.
A moment of silence commenced and then Granny Gheeta continued, “You know, I read somewhere that this man was always indulged by his mother, because she never had the heart to say no. Then one day he got into a world of trouble and when the mother asked him why he created such mischief, he told her to come a little closer, then he whispered, “If you had chastised and scolded me when I was little, then I probably would not have made bad mistakes. In one breath, he bit his mother’s ears off.”
I had no response for Granny’s chilling tale regarding the effects of lack of discipline and obedience.
As far as discipline and spoiling were concerned, Granny believed the teachings of the bible, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.”
The bible teaches that if parents do not discipline or scold their children, then, automatically their children will seem over indulged or spoiled. Granny knew that if young children were not trained properly from infancy, as adults, they would prove to be wild cards.
Most grandchildren love going to visit their grandparents because their environment is like a Parallel Universe, everything and anything usually goes. But Granny Gheeta’s home was an exception to the rule. In fact, I would often hear her saying to my parents, “It is good to say no sometimes.”
It is my belief till this day that Granny Gheeta created the proclamation agreement my parents needed to solidify their agenda. Because, it became a “No World” in our household. Each and every request was usually met with a “NO” and then after great explanation and drama, a firm maybe would be put on the table.
When it came to discipline and over indulgence, Granny would be the one to put the “chink in your chain”. If your requests seemed outrageous and over the top, she would be the first to voice her opinion, giving everyone food for thought…..
As an adult, I realize that it was not Granny’s job to make our lives miserable, her interjections were there to be the voice of reason. Children need to have boundaries set. However, if parents give them discipline and the proper fundamentals, they never have to worry that they will stray or become wayward. They may stretch the boundaries and push the envelopes, but just as things get a bit dicey, they often straighten up and fly right.
Over the years, old age and time made Granny less stern and most of her NOS turned into YESES, but that was also due to the fact that she had passed the “No Sceptre” on to the parents and older adults in the family. Once she relinquished her disciplinarian title, she accepted all our flaws and short comings unconditionally. As time progressed, Granny Gheetas’ world became a judgment free zone and she didn’t care if the penny section thought we were spoiled or not. Granny’s only concern was that , her grandchildren grew up to be good, solid, people with integrity.