Old Fashioned Jamaicans are known for their British reserved manner and ambivalence to discuss certain private matters as if it were ordinary news. Therefore, most parents find themselves in a "pickle" when they have to discuss such subjects as Adolescence, Sexuality and Sex.
 
The mere thought makes them sweat bricks and start reaching for every encyclopedia imaginable to brave the subject of the birds and the bees. Although, Human Reproduction is taught in most schools, the information is taught in such a clinical manner that children and
teens rarely focus. They only become interested, once they have been catapulted into a personal situation.
 
In the old days in Jamaica, many subjects were taboo, such as menstruation, sex, homosexuality, divorce and disease.  

However, my Granny Gheeta was not fearful to broach any subject. Her philosophy in life was, "It is better your children hear the cold, hard facts from relatives who care, than to get the wrong translations from people outside on the streets".
 
When the time came for me to hear about "The birds and the bees", all the adults seemed to tap dance around the subject, or they gave you a casual remark like, "Well, now that you are a woman, you know what can happen, right?"
 
I usually just nodded in unison, because I really did not want to rehash the intricate details and I could somehow sense their embarrassment, so it created an awkward tone for all concerned.
 
Granny Gheeta was always the type of person who felt it necessary to get to the bottom of any matter.
On visits, she would casually grill her grandchildren, "So, what do you girls and boys know about the birds and the bees?"
 
I would cleverly answer, "Granny, the bees pollinate the flowers and trees, while the birds sit on top of the trees and lay eggs."
 
She would remark, "That's very nice Magli, but I was not actually referring to birds and bees, I was talking about S-E-X."
 
Everyone grasped. The shyness reflected in all our eyes, and we were especially embarrassed because our ancient grandmother
was about to embark on a topic that was considered "hush-hush".
 
Granny continued, "When a boy likes a girl, and they are attracted to one another, feelings get in the way, and anything can happen."
 
"Anything like what Granny?" I questioned.
 
"Well, the boy may become "touchy-feely" and it leads to a kiss, and then, they sleep together. If they are not careful, the girl could end up with a baby."
 
My male cousins would remark, surprisingly, "Wow! All that happens from a touch?"
 
Granny answered, "Yes, in a matter of speaking."
 
Then, she would pause and tell us that was enough information for the day. Part II of her conversation would convene on our next visit.
We were all flabbergasted by the information she gave us, as the ideas milled about our brains. We decided it was not safe to touch each other. As we went to school, and conducted our lives, we shunned members of the opposite sex for fear of becoming "preggers".
My male cousins no longer viewed girls as harmless, helpless creatures. They had suddenly becoming ogres who had the ability to multiply and make their lives "icky".
 
We anticipated our next session with Granny with great anxiety, because we all wanted to know how a kiss or touch could lead to such great responsibility.
 
On our next visit to Granny's house, she was ready and prepared with dolls to show us what really happens.
 
Granny would say, "Here is Ken and Barbie, they like each other a lot. Ken tells Barbie he loves her, she thinks he is nice. They kiss,
they sleep together (Granny put the two dolls together in an embrace), and then if Barbie doesn't take special vitamins, and if Ken isn't careful....Nine months later, there could be a baby. Therefore, save all the "hugging up" and kissing up" until you are married....Okay?"
 
In unison, we all answered "Okay", a bit disappointingly. We thought Granny was going to divulge much more details, but to our chagrin, she explained the birds and the bees to us in dramatic Granny Stlye. After her daring illustration, we pretty much had a general idea of what the consequences were, if we had unprotected or casual sex.
 
When it came time for menstruating, Granny would separate the girls from the boys and din into our little brains, "Sweethearts, the whole world does not have to know about your present in the red package. It is personal and private. You should handle everything regarding this time of the month, very discreetly. Consider it a secret between you and God."
 
Granny had a way of making the most intricate of subjects seem so dainty and interesting with her anecdotes.
 
We all wondered "cluelessly" about the red package, but as Granny continued to talk we realized it was her code word
for "menses".
 
She spoke to us of proper disposal of feminine items surrounding this "unclean" time, explaining to us that we would should not participate in strenuous sports, or be in male company at that time. Granny also explained that if a girl or woman was experiencing her time of month and someone passed away, she should not attend the funeral.
 
Granny Gheeta taught us that monthly episodes, and sexual interludes were not to be taken lightly and we must prepare and take care of our bodies accordingly. Granny promoted the Cleopatra method to life. She felt that a woman had to take care of herself with a little more effort after her time of the month, and before and after intimacies. She encouraged us to oil and fragrance ourselves in order to rebuke negative vibes and impurities. 
 
She commented, " Women, young and old should always smell as fresh as a rose."
 
I often used to view my Granny as a dramatist with her long "soliloquys" of life, and her explanations on how to do things properly. But, as an adult, I realize, those were priceless lessons taught to me by my Grandmother Gheeta. Today, so many children and adolescents are left up on their own to figure things out. Along the way, their hygiene is neglected, the girls end up barefoot and pregnant, and the boys became "Baby Daddies" which they are not ready for. Within a small frame of time in history, a generation of delinquents become created, and due to the impossible odds, their lives become stagnant.
 
Granny usually ended her speeches saying, "God takes care of the birds, the bees and human beings. But since we humans are more intelligent he expects more from us. So we must exercise caution when exploring the concept of The Birds & The Bees. A little bit of fun today, could cause a world of remorse later." 
 
In other words, women and men should not waste their time with frivolous liaisons and relationships. If decent futures are not intertwined in these connections, it would have been insignificant and sometimes we are left with unexpected burdens......
 

Tags: Granny Gheeta Talks about The Birds & The Bees