Once people arrive at certain ages they tend to be mellow and calm. Perhaps it is because they have experienced so many events in their lives, that the years have given them a reference in order to decipher the melodramas from the mini-dramas.

My Granny was one of those people who did not let petty people or their actions bother her. She felt as long as God was on her side, they all could eat dust and die. Her ideology was, that they were being instigated by Satan anyway, so they would do the world a favor by disappearing into obscurity.

Granny and I experienced a day where it seemed as if the whole wide world had lost their senses.

As Grandparents get older their days are usually filled with mundane tasks and shopping. So on my summer holidays, I would occasionally spend a day or two with Granny while she ran her errands. My Granny could make an event out of the simplest task.

As we made our rounds to the Millinery shop to purchase felt for hat making and acquiring measurements, Granny experienced a tete ‘a’ tete with the lady overseeing the shop.

“Do you folks have an appointment?”

Granny looked at the woman strangely.

“What do you mean if we have an appointment?”

“I have been coming to Ms. Florisham’s shop, every Wednesday for some forty-something years and I have never been asked such an impertinent question. My mother comes here and my Aunt comes here. They all know me here.”

The woman turned to my Grandmother and said, “Let me look in my appointment book.”

Well, even I knew there was going to be “bacanal“, and I was hoping that whoever was behind curtain #1 would swiftly present themselves.

Granny began mumbling, “When did they get an appointment book, I’ve been going to Ms. Florisham’s shop from the time her store was on a dirt road in Kellits, now she has spread out and have stores all over Kingston and the Parishes, they are getting fancy on me!”

Granny turned to the young woman and continued asking, “ Miss, where is Ms. Florisham?”

“M’am, she was called away to Mandeville on business.”

“Well, I shan’t conduct any business here until Ms. Florisham returns. She knows me, I paid her to make half a dozen hats for my grandchildren and a felt hat for my husband. Please tell her Sister B came calling.”

Granny grabbed my hand and we marched out of the Florisham establishment.

The hoity-toity lady had mashed my Grandmother’s corn and I had a feeling that Granny was about to mash hers.

Granny and I continued on our mission a bit exasperated and inconvenienced but we trudged along like troopers determined to accomplish our tasks for the day.

Granny commented, “What is wrong with people ? Sometimes it seems as if they get a sick satisfaction out of giving others a difficult time. You wouldn’t understand Ms. Mags, but there are times when folks can act as if the have the power of attorney for Satan.”

“Huh…Granny?”

“You’ll see, when you get older. Just pray and believe in God always.”

We arrived at the Haberdashery, where Granny needed to order some items for her garden to be delivered. It seems as every item that she wanted was out of stock. She was frustrated.

“You know I have been coming to this store for as long as I can remember, and I have never been told they don’t have the products in stock. Do you have any idea when the items will be in?”

The store clerks looked at her with a blank, indifferent glance, and answered, “No”.

Granny raised her voice a few octaves, “This is absurd! Are you open for business or are you here for Tea time?”

The staff in the store started flittering around, yet they were still not accomplishing what Granny had desired.

“Imagine, I call Mr. Kingsley from half past three yesterday to tell him I was coming to get these items, and now that I am here, I am being told you are out of stock! Where is Mr. Kingsley?”

“We don’t know Mrs.”

“Alright then, tell him that Sister B came by for the items discussed and for him to please call me.”

By this time my nice calm, mellow Grandmother was slowly beginning to seethe with annoyance and contempt for peoples’ lack of decency, customer service and due diligence.

It was hard for my Granny to grasp the complacency of individuals. She came from an era where folks always moved heaven and earth to help each other. It was unacceptable for her to hear a store clerk or anyone in Public Service saying they can’t help or that there isn’t a solution.

As Granny and I made our way to King Street to visit the Seamstress, we wondered if we would have impediments there as well. By this time we both came to the realization that the world had gone mad while we slept. People woke up the next day and just didn’t care two Aetioti Apples about anything.

This visit to the seamstress was for me, Granny had asked her make two pinafore dresses in gingham prints for my Independence Holiday. I was excited to try them on to make sure they were altered properly. As the seamstress tried pinning me for specific alterations, each time she kept sticking me with the pins.

I yelled “Ouch!” hoping that would be a direct hint for her to be more mindful.

The first time, I thought, her hand slipped, then it happened a second and a third time. I immediately called for Granny. I whispered in her ear and told her what happened.

Granny cleared the room, asking me to leave, with hems hanging. The next thing I heard was Granny yelling at the top of her lungs.

“My Granddaughter indicated to you that you were hurting her, but you just kept on doing what you were doing. What is wrong with you? Can’t you see she is just a child?

You know what ? Don’t bother with the dresses, I’ll find somewhere that’s more caring.”

My Granny compensated her for the time she spent on the samples, but she made it quite clear she was not going to patronize her store any longer.

I felt a bit shook up from the experience, so Granny decided it would be a nice treat for us to go to the market and buy some fresh fruit. We decided to make a stop at Solos Market, where all the Higglers were out in full swing. Every fruit imaginable was out on display. Mangoes, sweet sop, sour sop, naseberrys, guineps, june plums and star apples. I was delighted. It was the best idea my Granny had all year.

Granny and I carefully selected a few bags of fruits, the Higgler weighed them, we paid for it and we were on our merry way. While on the way home, I asked Granny if it would be alright for me to have a plum. She didn’t usually approve of any of her grandchildren eating in public places, but it was a very hot summer’s day, so she agreed.

I reached for the bag of plums to have one and the plums looked as if they had returned from a war. The plums were beaten and battered, as if someone had taken their fingers and poked holes into them.

I turned to Granny and said, “Granny those weren’t the plums we selected.”

Granny grabbed my hands and said, “Come Mags, we’re going back to the Market right now, check the other bags and make sure the other fruits are good.”

The other fruits were good, but the plums had been tampered with. Granny and I agreed that was not cool.

So off we went to the Market, ready to explain the situation to the Higgler, except, she was gone.

Granny and I decided that the World had undoubtedly gone Mad, Mad and we were the only two Alices left in Wonderland.

Once we reached back home and settled in, Granny received phone calls from Ms. Florisham and Mr. Kingsley apologizing profusely for their inept staff.

Granny made it quite clear to both Shopkeepers that the only reason she patronized their business was because it was a long standing, family tradition. She also said that any day they ceased treating her with the respect and dignity she deserved, it would be the end of her association with them.. After that information was conveyed my Granny , the Florishams and Kingsley’s endured a good relationship until she migrated to America.

The most interesting discovery in this drama was the fact that it wasn’t actually the owners who were the problem. It was the personnel they left in charge.

Like the say in Jamaica, “If you don’t know how something come, you don’t care if it lef.”

Meaning, when you have a vested interest in anything, whether Family, Business, Home, Property, etc., one is more inclined to hang in there for the long haul. However, when you have nothing at stake, it is a lot easier to have a devil may care attitude.