Jamaica

Granny used to always say that one of the surprises of getting old is that you have so many maladies to contend with. She would say, that there were days when she felt like a traveling caravan, going from Doctor to Doctor to cure her ailments. She had a Doctor for her arthritis, nutrition, heartburn, just to name a few, and of course God. The Almighty Doctor.

I remember Granny always taking me to her Doctor's visits for company. She would tell me stories of her horrific waiting times. One day after going to a few visits, she became really irritated with the "goings on". I recall a particular day when her irritation escalated. It was a rainy, blustery day as we both put on our golashes and raincoat and started out for her appointments. The journey alone was quite an undertaking. So, when we arrived at the first Doctor's office and they told Granny they misplaced her file, and she would have to wait several hours for them to correct the situation. She was rather miffed but took it all in great stride and waited patiently. We then proceeded to the second physician's office, and lo and behold, they forgot to put Granny's appointment on the calendar. She had to reschedule for another day. I can assure you by this time Granny was not a happy camper. We left, and continued to the third Doctor's office, where they told her, that they were understaffed. Therefore, she would have to wait indefinitely. Granny had no tolerance at that point and demanded to see the "Doctor in charge".

The Doctor in charge came out to see Granny. She basically said to him, that if she had to get behind the desk and move things along herself, that she would. He seemed very young and inexperienced about running an office, therefore he had no problem with Granny taking charge. Within twenty minutes of Granny's command, she had the patients hopping and skipping in and out of rooms so fast that he was able to see her pronto. After Granny's appointment his calendar was clear for the rest of the day, thanks to her quick administration of the paperwork and handling of the patients. The whole office was stunned, they couldn't believe that an elderly lady could come in there and do the job of ten people. Granny was like an athlete on gatorade. Of course, I was her trusted sidekick, but I must admit, it was Granny who took center stage with her professional accumen.

After we left the medical office Granny said to me, "You know Mags, all this time I'm running up and down to these people I still don't know what's wrong with me. And after all that exertion, a still feel under the weather. Look what mi have to go through just to see the doctor."

I said, "Granny, I know what you mean, all that hard work and you still purple x". Granny looked at me and smiled, "Magsie, you mean perplexed."

"Yes Granny, remember I'm only five yu nuh."

As we travelled along Granny decided that she was going to take matters into her own hand as far as her health was concerned. Granny decided to pay a visit to the local "Bush Doctor". Some people think "Bush Doctors" conjure up hocus pocus. But just like in America where Homeopaths exist. Jamaica has "Bush Doctors", who are quite knowledgeable in Herbology. Granny bought herself some Cerasee, Irish Moss and bissie tea and then continued home, straight to her kitchen. Granny spent hours in the kitchen boiling cerasee, irish moss and tea.
She turned to me, "Mags, cerasee is good for everything. If you are feeling "run down", boil cerasee. If you want a nice relaxing bath, use cerasee. Cerasee cure everthing sweetheart, remember that."

I said, "Granny, so what are you doing with the Irish Moss?"

"Oh, this one is very good. All those sweety, sweety cereals not healthy. Boil irish moss, with a little condense milk and drink it every morning. You will feel as good as new."

"Boy Granny, you could give these Doctors a run for there money?"

"Sometimes dear, but they do serve a purpose, because bush tea doesn't cure all sickness, you hear. So if you try all this and you still don't feel well, go to the Doctor!"

Granny usually had an elixir for every ailment, and sometimes they were rather yummy. I especially used to inform her of my illnesses, just so I could get her most famous cure, Red Peas Soup a la Granny. Red Peas soup is our family's penicillin, I can attest that it cured most of my ailments. Whenever I had a maladie that needed a cure, I always went to granny because she always knew what to do. I think after awhile Granny knew that I just wanted a nice bowl of her red peas soup.

There were times when some of my Granny's concoctions sent me running for Blue Mountain Peak. For example, her remedy for the common cold. Boiling onions and sugar, then sweetening it with honey. That combination would scare any germ away. Granny would tell me, "The best cure is prevention". Her idea of prevention was drinking castor oil to rid the body of toxins on a regular basis. Yum, Yum....NOT!

I can say that Granny managed quite effectively to keep the stresses of going to the Doctor's at bay by being her own herbalist from time to time. A necessary part of our Jamaican heritage that she passed on to me and the rest of our family. So Granny wherever you are, I just want you to know, "I'm drinking mi cerasee tea and mi callaloo juice, and I'm lovin it! Cheers!"