Jamaica

Granny had three sisters and each one had a strong personality, not one of them was easy lead a stray by anyone’s tom-foolery or shenanigans. However, when Granny’s Sister Emma found out one of her sons was marrying an older woman, who did not come from his same heritage. She alerted the family council and then decided to have a “meltdown”.

She called Granny all the way from America to let her know of the current undertakings. She urged Granny to pray for her straight away and to keep the family in her prayers until she was able to get a plane to Jamaica.
I noticed that my Grandmother seemed a bit preoccupied and somber, so I inquired as to what matter she had simmering on her brain. She replied.

Mags, I am afraid such matters you may not understand……..

I persisted, “Why Granny?”

“Well, for one thing, you’re too young.”

“That’s ridiculous, Granny, try me?”

“Alright then, It’s you’re Grand-Aunt Emma, her youngest son is marrying a woman twice his age. Apparently. He has just graduated High School and she was married once before. Your Grand Auntie is “up in arms” about the whole situation. She thinks her son is going to get corrupted.

I looked at Granny strangely.

“Well, Granny, what do you think?”

Granny hesitated, “My father used to always say that if a man marries a woman older than himself, a day will come when he uses her age to upset her. It’s like letting a man have an upper hand .”

“Today times have changed, women take care of themselves, and they defy their ages so it is really up to the individual woman. Mags, I would say, it takes a special type of woman to deal with these circumstances.
An older woman and younger man is an unorthodox relationship and it requires a tremendous amount of compromise on both parts.”

Granny was visibly upset by the conversation., I guess because her sister had been very distraught that her son whom she had extremely high hopes for and extraordinary plans, had dashed them all away by making his grandiose announcement to wed someone that she was not prepared for.

I tried to comfort Granny by reminding her that perhaps it was just a passing impulse that would not come to fruition, so her and Auntie Emma need not worry at all.

Granny yammered on, “It’s not just the fact that she is older, but Emma is also upset that the woman does not come from our heritage, how is she going to raise his children? What type of values is she going to pass on to them? Will she be able to tell them about our heritage and Ancestry? Lord have mercy! It will be the end of Momma and Poppa’s legacy……My poor sister Emma. Mags ,Granny can’t talk right now.

I have to go and lie down for a minute.”

This was startling for me, I hadn’t seen my Granny this upset since my Kindergarten Teacher talked too sternly to me. At this age I never understood why the family was so diligent about about heritage and legacy, but now that I am an adult I realize how important it is to preserve the memory of our ancestors and what they stood for.

The morals and memory of My Great Grand Parents still meant everything to my Grandmother and even though she may have disappointed them in her lifetime, she did not want another generation to do the same.

Therefore I guess it was accurate to say that the events that were happening with Aunt Emmas family affected Granny in a very personal way.

Several weeks later Auntie Emma presented herself in Jamaica looking a bit drawn but as ravishing as ever
in her deluxe sundresses and her broad rimmed Riviera sunhats. She tried to convince everyone that her son’s intended was robbing the cradle.

She showed up at my Granny’s house one afternoon frantically knocking on the gate…..

“V! V! V!”

She carried on, “That woman is going to marry my son and move to some God forsaken place and I will never see my grand children. They will never come to Jamaica, they will never even know that Jamaica exists on the map.. They won’t even know about Peadro. Lord Jesus! Momma and Poppa are turning in their grave.

Granny reminded her, “Emma they won’t have to come to Jamaica, you are now living in America.”

“I know, but I want them to come to Jamaica for the Summers. They have to know about mangoes, naseberries, june plum and aetioti apples. All the nice stuff we had when growing up. I want them to have exposure to Jamaican patois and culture.”

“V, do you remember when Whitty was smitten with that girl down by the river and he made a big announcement to everyone that he was going to marry her? Do you remember what the family did?

My grandmother went into heavy concentration……..

“I don’t recall.”

Auntie Emma continued, “I remember. Auntie Allie and the rest of the family sent him to Ireland for some rest and relaxation. Ten years of rest and relaxation. You think my son might like Ireland this time of year?

Granny gave her an impossible look, “Let’s be realistic, he’ll get suspicious if you suddenly offer him a trip to Ireland.”
While my Granny and my Grand Aunt continued to find a solution to the family crisis. Her son had other plans. He eloped and got married, eliminating all the controversy.

The marriage lasted longer than most unions today and produced children that are aware of their dual heritage. So for the naysayers, who may think that the older woman and younger man cannot last, I can only say, it all depends on the individuals involved. I am sure my Granny would say Amen to that!!!!