My Granny was always receptive to saving and mentoring lost souls who were downtrodden by life, therefore it was not surprising when she told me a harrowing tale of the border from hell.

Granny was feeling a bit lonesome since my Grandfather had died and her children had gone their separate ways . So, she decided it would be a good idea to enlist someone to be her companion in exchange for room and board.

Granny mentioned her wishes to a few of her friends with the hopes that they would be able to recommend someone to her. Apparently weeks passed and she was not any closer to finding a suitable border.

One day while at the market shopping, she happened on a very adorable young woman, approximately twenty-two years old. She seemed very upset. Granny took a minute to listen to her tale of woe. It turned out that she had travelled all the way from Oracabessa to sell mangoes and guineps in the market with a friend of hers, but the friend absconded with the mangoes, guineps and the profits. Therefore she didn't have a job. Granny asked her where she was staying, because she would like to pray with her from time to time. The young woman informed Granny that the market was her job and resting place, and since she was no longer bartering fruits, she had no idea where she would go.

Granny felt sorry for her because she felt she was too young and naive to be tossed into the world, she also did not want any evil to befall her.Granny always felt that she had family of her own and wanted others to look out for them.

Granny said, "Dearest, I'm an old woman with a humble abode, however, if you would like to stay with me for a little while until you can get yourself together. It would be a blessing to me. I could use the company around the house. There are no strings attached, except you have to pick up after yourself."

The young lady, who called herself "Gia" smiled and said, "Thank you ma'm dat is so kind of you, a promise you won't regret it, thank you, thank you." She then proceeded to kiss my Granny's hand.

Granny shrugged, "Sweetheart don't make such a fuss, you might run away after my bible reading and talking in tongues, anyhow, I will be glad to have you, here's the address."

After giving Gia all the directions and instructions regarding her arrival, Granny soon hurried off to make special preparations for the young lady's visit.

Gia arrived just in time for dinner, with her little dog "Sir Henry" and a duffel bag. Granny inquired where the rest of her things were and she answered, "Ma'm this is it."

She showed Granny the two frocks she had brought and a pair of crepesoles. Granny said, "No man, this can't carry you through for the time you'll be here. Tomorrow we will go to Mr. Lord's shop and get some material. My dressmaker is going to make a few dresses for you, and some nighties. You will be too uncomfortable sleeping in that outfit."

Gia's face lit up like a christmas tree. Granny sent her to get cleaned up for supper and they had a nice talk about Gia's family life prior to moving to Kingston. She told Granny that her mother and father had abandoned her when she was born. She mentioned being raised by neighbors but they became elderly and died. That scenario motivated her to seek out the Big City.

Granny's empathy towards this young woman grew with each passing day, and after a while she started thinking of her as part of the family. She introduced her to all her children and grandchildren. We considered her a part of the family as well, and gave her presents on holidays, etc.

After about three months, Granny realized that Gia was displaying rather odd behaviour. Poor Granny didn't know what clock was striking, in other words she hadn't a clue what was going on with her border. One night granny was coming home from church and she saw Gia staggering in, Granny inquired where she was coming from. She told Granny that she just left her part-time job at the ice cream parlor. As soon as she could finish the sentence she began vomitting all over Granny's furniture.

She assured her that she was o.k. and that it must have been something she ate. The next morning Granny awoke to do her daily tasks, while taking out the garbage, she heard the clinking of bottles. Granny thought that she must have put the milkman's bottles in there by mistake. After opening the bag she found many beer bottles in there. Granny was shocked.

Granny started talking in tongues, and then summoned Gia.

"Gia why are all these beer bottles in here, do you drink?"

"Well, Sister B, I was feeling thirsty so me and a friend had a few ales."

Granny said, "A friend and some ales? So tell me, where is your friend now?"

"Him leave round two o'clock dis morning."

Granny got into the holy spirit, "Lord Jesus! Casa mi talio! (tongues), I raised nine children and none of them drink alcohol, and none of my daughters them ever bring a strange man to this house pass nine o'clock at night. I'm a christian woman and you are disrespecting my house."

"Sorry, m'aam." Gia responded timidly.

"I promise I won't do that again."

Granny said, "I know you won't because, I am going to make sure you have a strict 8:00 p.m curfew and I'm going to be checking your room at nights."

A young woman has to maintain her honor and integrity in today's society, 'cause if a man can get the milk for free, why buy the cow.

"I understand Sister B, It won't happen again, me was just trying out how it feel fi get drunk."

Granny commented, "Well, I certainly hope puking out your guts was a good indicator that it wasn't for you."

"You know Sister B, you're right."

A few months passed without any major incidents, then one day, Granny decided she was going to do her volunter work at KPH, she left Gia at the house to oversee some yard work by the gardeners. After Granny had travelled about a mile or so, she had a gnawing feeling that told her to turn around and go home at once. When Granny reached to the gate, she saw the french doors to the verandah wide open, the gardening tools were haphazardly left in the yard and "Sir Henry" was running a muck in Granny's garden.

Granny's alter ego began to rear as she perused the house to find out exactly what was going on. She found Gia entertaining the Gardners with alcoholic drink and smoke in her parlour. Then as Granny went into her bedroom, the drawers were ransacked and some important papers were missing. Granny immediately orderd everyone out of her house at once and reprimanded Gia to her bedroom.

It took Granny a few days to calm down and sort through the mess of papers that were left in her bureau draw. She needed to decipher what had been taken from the drawers and why.

She confronted Gia about her audacious curiosity and urged her to confess if she had taken any important papers. She told Granny an emphatic NO.

Granny was always a praying woman and when she went to God about a confusing situation. He always answered her with visions. Granny prayed and fasted for forty days and forty nights to find out the story behind the ransacking of papers. On the fortieth day the mystery was revealed.

Granny awakened that morning in the Holy Spirit, she decided she was going to clean the house from top to bottom. Gia had gone to work, so she thought it would be nice to straighten up for her, upon entering Gia's room, she decided to organize a few books.One of the books fell, revealing a stack of papers that were originally in Granny's bureau draw.

She also noticed a piece of paper that looked as if someone were practicing Granny's signature.

Then she saw a document that had been notarized and signed "supposedly" by Granny, it stated That Gia Ferguson was Granny's grandaughter, her only living relative, and that at her death, she would inherit everything.

There was also a diary that had details of Gia's family. It turned out that her parents weren't dead after all, they were very much alive and living in Mandeville. Ms. Gia had every intentions of bringing her trailer load of family to take up residence at Granny's.

Granny almost passed out from chicanery of the whole matter. In grand Jamaican style, she quickly bungled up her clothes and put them in a crocus bag on the verandah. Granny always kept spare bibles around so she sat down and scribbled out a few verses in one of them, the ten commandments to be exact. She then left the bible with a note to Gia saying. "I know, and God knows what you did. Please leave, you are no longer welcome here. May God forgive you."

Granny was so broken-hearted to know that she had trusted someone so whole-heartedly and Gia betrayed her in such a conniving and deceptive manner.

Granny always told me it is one thing to be accepted into a family, but it is quite a travesty when you misuse their trust and bulldoze your way into their personal and private matters. This young woman had taken advantage of Granny's kindness and was quite willing to pull a "fast one" on our family.

In Jamaica they always say, "Don't feel sorry for mawga dog, 'cause the first chance im get im gwey bite you."

In this situation "the dog" was cunning and sly, Gia underestimated the powers of the number one dog catcher....God. He took the bite out of the ultimate crime.