My Granny Gheeta was a woman of refined taste, class and a staunch believer and advocate of sincerity. One never had to wonder where they stood in Granny's life or how she felt about them. She always made her feelings known, whether they were good, bad, or ugly.

From the time I met Granny as an infant, she often talked to me about life being short, therefore it was her belief that it didn't make sense to waste time on phony sentiments and insincere acts of kindnes. She believed, in the final analysis of life, all your actions and feelings are really between you and God. 

Granny always commented to her grandchildren, especially when we tried to pull the wool over her eyes, "You children can fool me, but you can't fool God. He sees and knows all your antics before you even act upon them."

As young children, we were always vying for a special place in Granny's heart or hoping to have our misbehaving forgotten with a peace offerings, or gifts. Sometimes we toiled incessantly to make her special pottery, artwork or secretly picked flowers from her garden to make reparation for our transgressions. However, Granny was never easily impressed by our display of syrupy sweetness, because deep down she knew the political ploy behind our sentiments. Granny Gheeta would graciously accept our gifts, however, the interaction never came without a sermon.

She would begin by saying, "Thank you so much for the lovely trinkets, but, I want you all to know, gifts are only worth giving unless they are from the heart. Unless you genuinely want to make someone's day or cheer them up, a gift is not worth giving. Especially if there are ulterior motives.

For instance, if you are giving me these gifts to "sweeten me up" so you won't get punished, I have news for all of you. Time-out still stands."

Well, at that moment everyone became squirmy, uncomfortable and guilt ridden because we all knew in our hearts that we were trying to "sweet-up" Granny from doling out our "just desserts" for misbehaving. 

Granny was a woman of staunch principles, she could not be bought or persuaded from her methods of thinking. Gift giving to her was a special exchange and she often mentioned that some people use it as a means of controlling others or to entice them into positions of impropriety. Hence,

Granny always used the expression "Be wary of Greeks bearing gifts."

As a young girl, I thought she actually meant people from the land of Greece. However, as I grew older I realized it was just a saying that people used over the years because Greeks of ancient times were extremely generous, and usually their gifts had a price.

Granny Gheeta often instilled, that when someone is killing us with kindness or overtly generous, they are setting us up as live bait.

It is then, that we have to excercise caution when dealing with these individuals. The thought of being lauded with gifts and accolades for no apparent reason should trigger in our psyche that very often, the Gift Giver wants something from us, or that there are invisible strings attached.

Sometimes, there are exceptions to the rule, where people are genuinely kind natured because they derive happiness out of being generous to others. These people are rare and only come around once in a lifetime. Granny emphasized, "No one gives anything for free, or for nothing! There is always a price to be paid." 

Granny Gheeta would make her point by drawing analogies....."The boyfriend who showers you with gifts....He is either hiding his antics or priming you for something you would not normally agree to. But he figures, if he sweetens you up, you just may go along with his program. Then there is the stranger who wants to be your "God Send", when really, they are deceiving you to send you to hell. Family are the only people who give without expecting anything in return, and even they too, may have tricks up their sleeves. Relatives someimes give gifts just to keep the shame out of their eyes or out of a sense of duty, but there is no real feelings attached to the endeavor."

The moral of Granny's lecturing was, "Always question peoples' motives". They may actually be genuine, but, you may only find out by asking the right questions. At least you may gain some insight into their train of thought.

Once again, Granny Gheeta provided a valuable lesson on how to be a sincere human being. Her teachings have taught me never to give, unless it is coming from a sincere, and well-meaning heart. It is through pure and good intentions that we, as human beings receive our blessings.

If we give with bad mindedness and insincerity, it profiteth us nothing. It is only an empty display of sentiment to show the world what we are capable of or how prosperous we are. 

I am sure there are many people who can attest to receiving gifts or tokens from folks who harbored ill-will secretly and those gifts brought them nothing but misery, grief and negativity. In Jamaica we say, "We nuh give nobadie nuttin fi put dung, so we should be happy wid we we get..."

In reality, we can only have an attitude of gratitude when folks are genuinely giving us from a sincere and spiritual place. When the gifts we receive transform, enhance or better our little world, then it is truly a God Send. Otherwise, some gifts only contribute to our ruination because of the negativity associated. The bible tells us to give with a joyful heart and that God loves a cheerful giver, if we embrace these thoughts, one gift, (however small) can bring a multitude of blessings to the person/persons who receive it.

Tags: Ganny Story: "Be Wary of Greeks Bearing Gifts!"