My Grandmother died many years ago, however, her and I still share intimate conversations with each other. Even beyond the grave my Grandmother somehow manages to soothe my ruffled spirits when the “world” has aggravated and distressed me.

Granny and I often spoke about other peoples’ mannerisms, such as the way they are able to be obnoxious and rude. Yet, when given a healthy dose of their own treatment, they cannot handle it. Some may wage a crucifixion campaign against you for lashing out at them. However, they often fail to see or acknowledge the error of their ways or rude behavior patterns.

As a young child growing up, my grandmother always told me that some of my endearing qualities were the ability to be an independent thinker and the fact that my idealism usually prompted me to stand up for good morals, never allowing anyone to have the “upper hand” over me.

Granny also knew that since I was a child of mixed heritage that the challenges that I would have to overcome on this planet, would be great and sometimes overwhelming.

During Granny’s time on earth, she saw folks act disrespectfully towards me, friends mistreat and betray me. However, she always had encouraging words to help me endure the “Big Chill” that others imposed.

Granny would always prompt, “People will act and treat you “funny” when you have a mind of your own. Most people are followers and people pleasers, so when there is someone who goes against the grain. It upsets their nerves and paradigms because they cannot control you. A person who is different and stands out from the rest of the crowd is an “eyesore” for others.”

I would look at my Granny intently, almost as if I should be taking notes, because I found sense and truth in what she was saying. Even at an early age Granny’s assessment of people and situations were fascinating to me. She seemed to understand everything so keenly.

I would question her, “Granny what’s an “eyesore”?

She would comment, “An “eyesore” is someone who stands out in any crowd, and because of this quality, people become jealous, envious and quite nasty at times. It is their way of trying to rain on that person’s parade. Do you ever notice how sometimes you could be having a wonderful day, and someone would say something uncalled for or very negative, and just with a bite of their words they leave a stench with you?”

I thought about what Granny had said, and I realized it was true.

I called to memory one day when I was invited to a social affair, I had gotten dressed up in a lovely magenta dress. I received so many raves and compliments, except there was this one girl from my group who became very sulky that I was getting a lot of attention. So, she threw her plate of spaghetti with red sauce all over my dress, which practically ruined it. After that, she was as happy as a lark, there was no more sulking and all was right again in her world.

At first, I was embarrassed then I remembered my Grandmother’s teaching, “Never let anyone have the upper hand over you. So, I held my head high, continued my evening, then made a gracious exit.

When I told Granny the story, she knew instantly that young girl felt threatened by me. She was afraid that I was soaking up too much attention.

I always found the jealousy trait in women intriguing, because, I never went looking for attention, yet people were generous with their compliments.

All these accolades meant nothing to me because I was taught from an early age not to give too much creedence to my own publicity. That was the key to remaining a humble sole.

As an adult I have found out that sometimes you have to toot your own horn, if only to accomplish putting folks in their places.

My Granny would often take me by the hand and say, “You my dear, will create upheavals and bacanal among women, not because of anything you did or said. But just because you exist……..”

To this day, I am not quite sure what my Grandmother meant, but I can certainly attest to the “cold war” that I have experienced at certain intervals of my life.

I am constantly battling the feelings of women feeling threatened because they believe a woman of mixed heritage has only one goal and that is, trying to takeover their world, or create unnecessary competition for them.

The truth is, I really don’t care about their world because I come from a heritage that’s vibrant and colorful and prides itself on being “Out of Many One People”. Despite the fact that I come from a Third World Nation, I thank God that we are a nation of wonderful choices.

I still continue my private conversations with my Grandmother and each day she reminds me to be myself because my forefathers have already paved the way.

Tags: Granny & I discuss a Taboo Subject: Obeah in Jamaica