Jamaica

There are many reasons why I am proud of my Jamaican Heritage; however one of the most noteworthy reasons is the way Jamaican families plan spectacular weddings. In my lifetime I have been to many nice weddings, but none can compare to a Jamaican Wedding amidst the beauty of a tropical setting.

When I reminisce of my Granny, my fondest memories are about the way she loved to attend weddings; and enjoyed "marrying off" her children and grand children. When it came to marriage, Granny was not a reluctant Bride's Mother or Groom's Mother. Granny embraced the sacrament of marriage as if it were her bible.

She was never too sick or too tired to attend a wedding. If her arthritis was bothering her, she would take two phensic and rub herself with some liniment. Nothing would stop her from going to a wedding. I remember as she got older and bound to a wheelchair, she still didn't let that stop her. She always arrived in style via her ambulette driver.

It has always been my belief that Granny's biggest callings were her religion and motivating people to marry. I used to love to watch Granny get "dolled up" for a wedding. Depending on the time of day she always dressed very appropriately and elegantly.

Jamaican weddings are quite memorable because they are old-fashioned and traditional. The guests are usually very formally dressed, the Bride's gown is demure yet stylish, with a cathedral veil that extends for several blocks. The receptions promise great Caribbean music and scrumptious Jamaican Black Wedding Cake. The Jamaican Wedding cake is elegant and decorated with beautiful, white, pearlized frosting. It contains several tiers and is marinated in rum. Upon slicing the cake, its interior is very dark, hence the name, "Black Cake".

The people are what make these weddings truly fascinating. You have your average well-wishers, family members, and oh yes! The critics. Over the years Granny and I went to several weddings together. There was one occasion that still lingers in my mind till this very day. It was funny, as well as miraculous at the same time.

Granny's church sister was getting married and she invited Granny and I. We got dressed to "fowl foot" and scurried off to the affair. We arrived just in time to take our places, and then the organist began playing "Ave Maria". The Bride gracefully glided down the aisle and greeted her Groom at the altar. Granny and I sat and watched intently as everyone "cooed" at the Bride's appearance. They exchanged vows, but just as they were about to exchange rings, the two-year old ring bearer refused to give up the wedding bands. This resulted in the minister and the best man chasing him for approximately thirty-five minutes before he gave in to them. The vows were eventually completed and he received a little spanking from his parents.

Needless to say, the Bride and Groom were very relieved that the tot got tired and returned the rings to the minister. It was quite a show, although not planned; it added a dramatic flair to the event. The newlywed couple played their parts wonderfully.

Granny and I proceeded to the front of the church with the other guests. We enjoyed throwing rice at the couple. There were times when Granny reminded me not to pelt them with the rice. She would say, "Ok Mags, you're not playing cricket, so take it easy." I was only five at the time, so all that rice throwing seemed like so much fun. Granny's request was reasonable so I perfected the art of throwing rice. It was during this time that Granny and I became privy to two little old ladies, which we endearingly named, Ms. Gussie and Ms. Fussie. They were standing directly behind us as we bathe the couple in rice. They were well-dressed women who looked like little pixies.
One kept saying to the other, "Do you like the wedding dress?"
"I don't know, I think I could make a better dress than that."
"Who is that woman in the purple dress? She's too meager."
"I don't know..hmm you think she's too skinny?"

Granny and I smirked as we overheard these two women conversing with each other. We continued to follow the crowd to the reception hall and eluded the two pixies that were behind us. Once we arrived at the catering hall, we were graciously seated by the staff. To our surprise Ms. Fussie and Ms. Gussie were being seated at our table. As soon as they were seated, they began to examine the linen on the table and scrutinized the flowers. Granny and I sat quietly smiling as the two "went to town" ogling the china, the silverware and all the guests in attendance. After they were finished commenting on the decor, they bolted to the doorway to take pictures of the newlyweds and their families.

Granny believed that they took more pictures than the wedding photographer. They managed to maneuver through the crowd like Patrick Ewing and Donald Quarry trying to get candid photos of everyone. Looking back, the paparazzi had nothing on those two. When they returned to the table, Granny offered them some ice water, because they had certainly worked up a sweat. Ms. Fussie then turned to Granny and said, "You know, I don’t think I know you."
Granny replied, "I'm Sister Brown and this is my Granddaughter Mags."

The ladies commented in unison, "What a sweet child, so well behaved. At least she's not running around like a peeny wally. You know, like those other children?"

Granny smiled," Magsie goes with me to all sorts of affairs, so she knows how to conduct herself accordingly. Thank you for your compliments all the same." In the meantime, I sat there grinning like a Cheshire cat. Quite proud of myself for being on my best behavior. I was slightly nudged by Granny as a reminder not to let the kind remarks go to my head. We sat with the ladies making pleasant conversation until the first course of dinner started. Well, from the time these women started eating their salad they complained. After they received the curry chicken dinner that they ordered. All you could hear was, "The chicken don't cook properly." "Lord it is too spicy."
"I don't think they use real curry, it taste so bland."
"The rice don't cook properly."

Granny and I suggested ordering something else, but they kept on munching and complaining until the platters were clean. Then they turned to Granny and said, "Sis. Brown, the meal, it wasn't that great you know. We just ate it to keep pains off our stomach."

Granny offered her best smile and said, "Praise God!"

Granny's favorite reason for attending weddings, was for the thrill of looking at a blushing bride, and she always made sure to give her standard gift of expensive crystal punch bowls with matching cups. Most people remembered her through her signature gifts of punch bowls. The biggest highlight for Granny at any wedding would be to collect pieces of Jamaican Wedding Cake for the family. She always used to say, "There is no cake in the world, like Jamaican Wedding Cake." On this occasion, the cake was minus rum, Granny was in her "seventh heaven". While Granny was busy rounding up pieces of cake to take home, Ms. Fussie and Ms. Gussie were busy placing pieces of pumpernickel bread and wedding favors in their purses. When the purses started bulging, they asked the maitre’d for a shopping bag. They wanted to take home the flowers on the tables. I sat there looking at them, trying to figure out what they were trying to accomplish.

When Granny returned, she asked me what happened to the ladies. I shrugged and answered, "I think they are helping the bride and groom clean up."
"Granny said, "But, Ms. Mags, the reception has a few hours to go."
"Granny all I know is, they left in a hurry with a shopping bag."

A few minutes later the Bride came over to hug and kiss Granny for her lovely gift. She asked Granny, "Who were those two ladies with you?"

Granny and I looked at each other rather puzzled and answered, "We thought they were guests of yours."

The Bride laughed heartily, "No, my husband and I were wondering who these ladies were."

Granny stared around the room, "Well, now that you mention it, I wonder if they were professional wedding bashers?"

Granny decided to say a prayer of blessing for the bride and groom. She kissed the bride and urged her to go sit with her new husband. Word regarding the mysterious guests spread like wild fire and all the guests became intrigued by the story of the two ladies. In the middle of all the banter and excitement, Granny raised her hand to deliver a toast.

She said, "You too are truly blessed, that was your first test of entertaining angels."

God always spoke to Granny at the strangest of times, and this was one of them. Apparently he told her those were angels sitting at the table. They were fussy angels who loved bread, flowers and wedding favors.

There was a hush of silence in the hall....

Then Granny said, "Come Ms. Mags we have to start getting home. By the way, did you get us some wedding favors?"

"How could I Granny? Your "angels" took them all to heaven."

"Never mind sweetheart, we have wedding cake and the memories."