In Jamaica most children are very fond of their elderly relatives, primarily because they take the time to listen to their concerns and they refrain from casting judgement, remembering that they too, were once young and carefree.
 
Growing up in Jamaica, and having a grandmother like Granny Gheeta made for very interesting times. As most younger children can relate, once an older relative approaches certain birthdays, we start to think of them as being very ancient. Their aging bodies and personas tend to make most children scared and apprehensive.
 
 Jamaican children are a bit rare in these matters because they enjoy spending time with older folks. The elderly adore their antics as opposed to correcting them all the while.
 
As my Granny Gheeta got older, in my heart, I swore every day that she was going to die. If she had a headache, or an aching body part, my stomach became filled with anxiety, and my mind tried to rationalize that each day she had a maladie, was the last day. Well, these feelings went on for twenty or so years, and Granny Gheeta lived until a very ripe old age.
 
Most children view their grandparents as being fragile and think that each time they are ill,  "kickng the bucket" is right around the corner. As folks get old, they begin to appear as strange, spiritual figures to the younger generation.
 
My Granny was always talking about the dead, and the spirits she saw, which made for some very s-p-o-o-k-y times. However, this did not deter me from seeking her out for conversation or companionship. As the conversations became "dicey" between Granny Gheeta and her friends, I would casually leave the area and abscond to my world of make-believe. There, I would try to de-program myself from her superstitions, ghouls and goblins conversations.
 
Granny Gheeta was a very engaging conversationalist, so I would often invite her to spend time with me as I indulged in some of my favorite pastimes. As we watched television until the wee hours, Granny  would fall asleep and I would  check on her to see if she was still breathing. Sometimes, she laid there really still, it was difficult to tell without waking her. This scenario would create moments of panic within my psyche, wondering what I would do, if Granny died while in my presence. So, in order to deter her death, I would wake her up promptly, exclaiming, "Granny, you look uncomfortable lying on the armchair, come let me put you to bed."
 
Granny Gheeta would sleepily usher off to her quarters and retire peacefully. I, on the other hand, felt as if I had prevented an inevitable situation and often sighed in relief, feeling calm that Granny Gheeta would not die in my presence.
 
The over active imaginations of children are soon outgrown once they become adults, because when I got older and became aware of my own mortality, it did not seem to be a big deal if any person or family member died in my presence. I missed them leaving their Earthly lives, however, I was not afraid they would turn into "boogeymen" or "boogeywomen".
 
A person begins to understand that the dying process is a natural part of life, and if we have good relationships with the dearly departed, there is no need to fear them dying because you know that they will always watch out for you and protect you.
 

So, if  a family member died and he/she were a good soul in life, their presence would be welcomed as a good spirit in death. However, if he/she were old miserable, mean spirited crumudgeon in life, their spirit would be shunned.
 
Therefore, as time passed, older relatives became a wealth of information. You wanted to be around them to soak up their wisdom and life stories. Listening to them, helped you to understand them better and also help yourself with old-fashioned knowledge for the future.
 
The vison of anyone's grandparents dying and "skinning" his or her teeth is a frightening concept to a child. An experience that should not be dealt with until one becomes older. When my Granny Gheets progressed in age and became mildly incapacitated, I then became concerned that she might "skin her teeth" while in the bathtub, while praying, or any activity that required over exertion. These feelings led me to check on Granny incessantly while in the care of her nurses. It became a marathon of questions for me,  "What if......., she fell and couldn't get up? What if......? The scenarios in my mind became endless.
 
There were instances when I would call Granny Gheeta several times per day just to see if she was still breathing. She often became senile and went off on a tangent, leaving the phone off the hook, and my "Hellos" were not answered. I felt for certain that she had passed out and could not respond. Then, I would make haste to reach her, only to find her sitting in her armchair singing a hymn and perusing her Bible.
 
I can honestly say, that aging relatives create the environment for a lot of drama because we begin to realize how frail their lives are , and they can leave our lives at any moment. We sometimes dread their arrival because of the high standards they subject us to, yet, after basking in their presence, we hate to see them go anywhere for an eternity.
 

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