BOARDLANE TV: Kartel Sentenced – Reactions From Jamaicans (Spoof) Good day ladies and gentlemen. Bordlane TV news has just learned that Adidja ‘Vybz Kartel’ Palmer and his three co-accused were just sentenced to life in prison for the murder of Clive ‘Lizard’ Williams. Some Jamaicans are vividly upset with the verdict while some camps believe the verdict was just. I have a young man standing next to me who says he is a supporter of the dancehall DJ and he has something to say about the verdict. Go ahead, young man...
BOARDLANE TV BROADCAST: WILL JAMAICANS PULL THE THREAD ON THEIR WEAVES? (Jamaican Spoof) Customs Commissioner, Major Richard Reese recently announced that the Customs Department will be collecting taxes on the import of human hair weaves. According to recent reports, weave imports have reached JM$1 billion and now the government wants a bigger piece of the pie. Boardlane TV took to the streets to find out how local hairdressers and customers feel about the imposed tax on this commodity.
VOICE TOP 10 PERFORMS: JAMAICANS WEIGH IN.(Jamaican Spoof) The Voice’s final 10 singers assembled for a live two-hour battle last night. The night was punctuated by a “cameo” appearance from Olympian Usain Bolt. When it was her time, Tessanne Chin gave another powerful rendition of “If I was your woman.” With nine other contestants who performed, Boarlane TV is Live in Portmore, Jamaica to obtain feedback from the viewers of the show.
JAMAICANS TURN UP THE VOTES FOR TESSANNE CHIN: Live Broadcast. (Jamaican Spoof) The Voice finally went live on Nov 4th, with Team Adam and Team Blake giving performances throughout the night. However, the NBC show saved the best for last. The Jamaican songstress, Tessanne Chin, absolutely stole the show with her mind-blowingly soulful rendition of Jimmy Cliff‘s “Many Rivers To Cross.” With the voting round now open, Boardlane TV wanted to get insights on how Jamaicans showed their support for Tessanne Chin.
Tessanne Chin Storms The Voice: Jamaicans React. (Jamaican Spoof) Jamaicans woke up to a natural high after witnessing Reggae superstar, Tessanne Chin, dominated night two of The Voice’s blind auditions. Tessanne, who really had the judges going all-in, sang “Try” by Pink. The Jamaican had all four judges turned around by the time she hit the song’s chorus. Today Boardlane TV gets reaction from Jamaicans in downtown Kingston.
Grammy’s Bob Marley Tribute: Jamaicans React. (Jamaican Spoof) The 55th Annual Grammys paid tribute to Bob Marley on Sunday with a segment featuring Rihanna, Sting, Bruno Mars, and the late reggae icon’s sons Ziggy and Damian. What was a well-anticipated event from viewers all over the world, including Jamaicans; Boardlane TV gets feedback from Jamaicans living in the Atlanta area.
Volkswagen Super Bowl AD: Live from Negril (Jamaican Sketch) Boarldlane TV reporting live from the beaches of Negril, where we are here to get the reactions of Jamaicans on the controversial Volkswagen ad that has been causing a stir in the U.S. Some critics have described the pregame Super Bowl ad from Volkswagen of America as offensive and culturally insensitive. Some will say, it depends who you talk to, so let us find out how these folks in tourist town, feel about it.
LIVE BROADCAST: Busy Signal Arrest – Reactions on the streets (Jamaican Sketch - Satire) Popular Jamaican dancehall artist ‘Busy Signal’ was arrested by members of the Fugitive Apprehension Team at the Norman Manley International Airport in Kingston as he disembarked a flight. Busy Signal was said to be fugitive wanted on decade-old drug conspiracy charges in the U.S. He is also accused of travelling on false documents. The reaction from Jamaicans is one of dismay, shock and disbelief. Boardlane TV rushed to the scene out side the Norman Manley airport to get reactions.
Live Broadcast: Asafa Powell Speaks: Reaction to Yendi’s Pregnancy (Satire) Good day to our Boardlane TV viewers, we apologize for breaking into today’s scheduled programming to bring you an impromptu press conference called by Asafa Powell. The Jamaican sprinter has felt the need to respond to the frenzy created by Yendi Philips’ announcement that she is now carrying Daniel 'Chino' McGregor’s child. We are at the Pegasus hotel where various TV, Radio and Newspaper media are at the conference questioning Mister Powell.
Live Broadcast: Usain Bolt And Belle Lubica: Reactions On The Streets Of Trelawny (Satire) Recently, a picture of Usain Bolt and Slovakian born fashion designer, Belle Lubica kissing, started a wave of charged remarks on the web among Jamaicans both abroad and on the island. BoardlaneTV visited the small community of Sherwood Content in Trelawny where the record holding sprinter was born and raised to get reactions from the residents. We now bring you the reactions to the story.
LIVE BROADCAST: Prince Harry Visits Kingston Craft Market (Jamaican Sketch) BoardLane TV has learned that Prince Harry took time out to visit Kingston’s Craft market earlier today. We have footage of Prince Harry’s visit to the market. Harry, dressed casually in an open-necked blue linen shirt, navy blue trousers and blue suede boots, was seen with his entourage walking along the side-walk heading to the Craft market. He seems un-phased by the usual hustle and bustle of the Kingston streets. As he strides along, a bus conductor tries to get his attention:
LIVE BROADCAST: Dancehall Star, Vybz Kartel escape (Satire) Reggae Dancehall star Vybz Kartel has been in police custody in Jamaica since October 1, while he awaits trail for two murder cases. This morning Boardlane TV received reports that the super star has escaped from his jail cell. The reports are that Kartel started a riot at the Horizon Adult Remand Centre in Jamaica early on Wednesday morning (November 30), and managed to escape with seven other inmates after holding officers at gunpoint. Boardlane TV is on location in an attempt to get to the bottom of this story.
Live Broadcast From Occupy Downtown (Satire) - Jamaican Style After weeks of watching the resistance movement calling itself “Occupy Wall Street” the Jamaican people themselves have taken to the streets of downtown, Kingston. The number of protesters on scene so far is in the thousands. The protest, which evolved from a network of individuals and groups galvanized by the demonstrations across United States, has brought people together from all walks of life to make specific demands. Boardlane TV is live on the scene and was able to interview a few of the protesters.
Live Broadcast From the East Coast Earthquake Zone (Satire) - Jamaican Style A strong earthquake in Virginia rattled the East coast last week Tuesday afternoon and sent out 5.9 seismic shock waves that were felt across the region. The quake prompted evacuations of office buildings and causing people to frantically run into the streets. Boardlane TV and is on the streets of Washington DC to obtain reactions from those scared individuals affected by the quake.
Live Report from The Royal Wedding (Satire) - Jamaican Style The week’s most talked about, and widely covered event, has finally taken place. Kate Middleton and Prince William, were wed this morning at Westminster Abbey as College News reported on Wednesday. The atmosphere in London was cheerful as thousands of people gather outside Westminster Abbey to witness the wedding . Among the thousands of well wishers were Jamaicans. Boardlane TV got a chance to speak to some of the onlookers .
Egypt Inspires Protest in Jamaica (Satire) - LIVE BROADCAST From The Streets Of Kingston, Jamaica Breaking news just in. Boardlane TV is reporting that the people of Jamaica have taken to the streets to protest the Oppressive regime Led by Prime Minister Bruce Golding. The protest from what we understand stems from the uprising already taking place in Egypt where the Egyptians are also attempting to over throw their government. Boardlane TV has footage of some of the events taking place on the ground.
Boardlane Live Broadcasting from the Buju trial in Tampa, FL - Part 1 Boardlane TV has been following the trial of reggae superstar Mark Myrie, also known as ‘Buju Banton’ since the court session began. Banton is on trial for conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute five or more kilogrammes of cocaine. He could get a maximum of 20 years to life in prison if convicted. Buju Banton's fans have turned out in their numbers for the trial that started on Monday. We have exclusive insider reporting into the happenings inside the Tampa Court from the fans of Buju Banton.
Jamaicans Aid in the Clean Up of Massive Oil Spill Boardlane TV has learned that BP has solicited an expert group of Jamaicans to assist with the clean up efforts of the massive oil spill off the Gulf of Mexico. Boardlane TV has exclusive video of the meeting that took place between the Jamaicans and BP at the site of the disaster and the results of their work.
Live broadcasting from the scene of American Airlines flight 331 An American Airlines plane crashed and broke in two after landing at the Norman Manley International Airport in Kingston a short while ago. The aircraft carried over 145 passengers and crew most of them Jamaicans returning home. Boardlane TV news was on site to interview some of the passengers that were able to speak to us about the events that took place after the crash.
Arrested StingRay Speaks (Patwa Style) Good day to you all, there has been a wave of news reports surrounding the arrest of the suspected StingRay in the Steve Irwin case. Earlier news reported the arrest of the suspect who calls himself "Stinga-Ray".
Conversation Between Pregnant men. Imagine if men were to get pregnant. How would they handle it and what would that conversion sound like. Turn your imagination to a few men at the Doctor’s office for regular Pregnancy check ups. This would more likely be the conversation
GPS Navigation System – Jamaican Style Part 2 Devon is about to catch a flight back to NY from Norman Manley airport and approaches a back up miles away from the airport. He is driving a rental equipped with GPS Navigation and decides to use it to get out of his predicament.
Yaad Fowl And Farrin Fowl PART 3 – The Wedding Yaad fowl asked farrin fowl to be her maid of honor at the wedding and invited her back to Jamaica for the event. It was to be held on a Saturday evening in the sweltering heat in front of dozens of different species of birds from across the island.
Yaad Fowl Part2- Yaad Fowl Come To Farrin Yaad fowl gets a invitation to America to hang with farrin fowl. Farrin fowl was waiting at the airport for the arrival of Yaad fowl. Twenty minutes had past since the time the plane was to arrive. Farrin fowl watched the clock as another 1o minutes went by. Now she was getting impatient.
Punchinella The Cinderella Story Punchinella never got along with her two stepsisters - Precious and Peaches
She had an Evil stepmother who was married to her first Uncle before she married her fada
Poor likkle Punchinella day and night on har knees scrubbing the floor wid di Geenie Floor polish.
The Titanic - Jamaican Style The Titanic as we know set sailed from England and the ship perished taking so many with it. How would the episode of the Titanic play out if Jamaicans were on board?
JABus Ride Instructions Imagine you were given safety instructions for riding a bus as you do with airlines today. Here are the safety instructions for a bus ride in Jamaica.
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