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JM1
01-16-2007, 11:06 AM
Have you ever got yourself in a relationship or made choices even though while you are in the process you just <u>know</u>, that it is not going to go well ?

Why do we do this ? Neediness ? Fantasies ? Self esteem issues ?

Shezuk
01-16-2007, 11:41 AM
I guess it all depends on the situation.
A person might be insecure, or longing for companionship. Just hoping that everything will work out. I think some women are emotional and are driven by what they are feeling in the present. For men, I dont know..

JM1
01-16-2007, 11:49 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">For men, I dont know..</div></div>

We tend to be driven by other considerations.

And a lot of drama generally follows.

See, for example, Clinton, Bill. et al.

diabolical_Tanya
01-16-2007, 11:57 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JM1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Have you ever got yourself in a relationship or made choices even though while you are in the process you just <u>know</u>, that it is not going to go well ?

Why do we do this ? Neediness ? Fantasies ? Self esteem issues ? </div></div> <span style="color: #6600CC"> HOPE </span> Some women can't see a man for what he truly is, they see him for what they hope they can make him become. So when the truth is constantly slapping them in the face the refuse to see it.

Shezuk
01-16-2007, 11:58 AM
We know, but yet, we still don't follow our gut feelings. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif

tsophra
01-16-2007, 11:58 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JM1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Have you ever got yourself in a relationship or made choices even though while you are in the process you just <u>know</u>, that it is not going to go well ?

Why do we do this ? Neediness ? Fantasies ? Self esteem issues ? </div></div>

the challenge
the rush
/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whistle.gif

JM1
01-16-2007, 12:15 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Some women can't see a man for what he truly is, they see him for what they hope they can make him become.</div></div>

I know a couple people I want to tell this. But they are big people soh weh fi duh ? Just be there to help pick up the pieces I guess.

Suesumba
01-16-2007, 12:16 PM
lonliness. turn a blind eye to the glaring red flags.

BoundBrook
01-16-2007, 12:19 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JM1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Have you ever got yourself in a relationship or made choices even though while you are in the process you just <u>know</u>, that it is not going to go well ?

Why do we do this ? Neediness ? Fantasies ? Self esteem issues ? </div></div>

Sometimes putting yourself in a bad relationship, one that you just know is bad, is a way to put off dealing with your own issues.

If you are always working on a relationship that can't be fixed, you can't focus on doing the hard work you need to do to fix yourself. We all have issues that need to be dealt with, in general you can't enter a happy and healthy relationship until you deal with them... bad relationship after bad relationship puts off that work.

gullygirl
01-16-2007, 12:28 PM
Guilty of this myself.. Thought he really loved me.. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70392-silly.gif

Afterall, why would he call at 3AM just to make sure I was OK..Why would he get jealous if another man just looked at me..

Why would he get jealous if I made eye contact with another man in a restaurant or at the club..

We were on vacation in Jamaica, when he threathened to "run di car awf di road an kill me &amp; kill himself", then I realized my gut feelings were right..

Needless to say that was the end of that.

him still nuh get why mi lef him , cause him claim seh a joke him did a mek, him di jus mad....

JM1
01-16-2007, 12:40 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: gullygirl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Guilty of this myself.. Thought he really loved me.. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70392-silly.gif

Afterall, why would he call at 3AM just to make sure I was OK..Why would he get jealous if another man just looked at me..

Why would he get jealous if I made eye contact with another man in a restaurant or at the club..

We were on vacation in Jamaica, when he threathened to "run di car awf di road an kill me &amp; kill himself", then I realized my gut feelings were right..

Needless to say that was the end of that.

him still nuh get why mi lef him , cause him claim seh a joke him did a mek, him di jus mad....

</div></div>

GG, didn't something attract him to you at first ? And isn't it funny how that intial attraction can sometimes be paired with.."bwoy in really nice...ALTHOUGH.."

Suesumba
01-16-2007, 12:44 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JM1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">GG, didn't something attract him to you at first ? And isn't it funny how that intial attraction can sometimes be paired with.."bwoy in really nice...ALTHOUGH.." </div></div>

i'm not speaking for Gullygirl, but as a veteran of bad relationships, all i can say is those psychotic men can be a real magnet. they're very very charming and will wine/dine pamper you in the beginning. it's after you're hooked then you kinda /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif get the duck wid cole wawta shack /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif

gullygirl
01-16-2007, 12:54 PM
Lots of things attracted me to him initally...

aside from his good looks he was well read, traveled, held 2 Masters degrees, no ex-wife/baby mama drama, a good listener, very outgoing...

BUT, I always thought he was a little controlling and ignored it..

Sometimes when he called and the TV was on, he would say.."Is that a man's voice I hear in the background, who's there with you"?

Once we went to the club, he parked a block away. When we were ready to leave he told me to wait while he went to get the car. It took no more than 5 mins for him to return.
On the drive home, he wanted to know which guy tried to hit on me when he left, how many #'s did I get etc...

Shezuk
01-16-2007, 12:57 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">lonliness. turn a blind eye to the glaring red flags. </div></div>

Hmm Huh!

JM1
01-16-2007, 01:01 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">good looks...well read, traveled, held 2 Masters degrees, a good listener, very outgoing...</div></div>

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">no ex-wife</div></div>

Did your gut tell you that a man like this who had never been married might have a problem (before you saw his behavior that is) ?

Suesumba
01-16-2007, 01:06 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: gullygirl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

aside from his good looks he was well read, traveled, held 2 Masters degrees, no ex-wife/baby mama drama, a good listener, very outgoing...
</div></div>

you know what the worse thing is --&gt; now we'll forever be skeptical /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif

JM1
01-16-2007, 01:08 PM
/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif

gullygirl
01-16-2007, 01:11 PM
Lawd, JM yuh mek mi feel real /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70392-silly.gif

Yes, It did cross my mind, and said as much to my best friend..

She said I need to stop being my skeptical self and give him a chance..

...And I kinda thought if there are women out there who have not yet found the "right" man there may be men out there who have not found the "right woman as well..

Suesumba
01-16-2007, 01:19 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: gullygirl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
She said I need to stop being my skeptical self and give him a chance..

...And I kinda thought if there are women out there who have not yet found the "right" man there may be men out there who have not found the "right woman as well.. </div></div>

i think you and me have the same relationship counselling friend GG. and yes, some people just haven't met their right*match* so you hold out hope that even though it sounds all too good to be true, it's true in this one instance.

~~~ sigh ~~~

JM1
01-16-2007, 01:30 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Lawd, JM yuh mek mi feel real /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70392-silly.gif</div></div>

Hush. A noh dat mi was a try. I am just here attempting to figure out this thing we do of ignoring what our good sense is telling us.

Been there myself. Plenty times. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif

gullygirl
01-16-2007, 01:52 PM
After that relationship, I went in the opposite direction..

I would tolerate nothing and trusted no one.. The first sign of any "imperfection" I bailed..

Broke up with a really sweet guy because of it..(He's the one I dubbed "the one that got away")

loops
01-16-2007, 01:54 PM
i think it's easy to overlook a small blister...i mean, we're all flawed...so you think...what the hey, i'm not perfect either.

then....when that small blister turns into a festering annoying abcess...that's when you say....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i should have known better.

hindsight...is always 20-20

trelawnysmall
01-16-2007, 08:09 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JM1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Have you ever got yourself in a relationship or made choices even though while you are in the process you just <u>know</u>, that it is not going to go well ?

Why do we do this ? Neediness ? Fantasies ? Self esteem issues ? </div></div> <span style="color: #FF6600"> All of the above may be the case, or a good challenge, or a men-o-pause moment when you just cant think straight.... </span>

missus_vegas
01-17-2007, 12:40 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JM1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Have you ever got yourself in a relationship or made choices even though while you are in the process you just <u>know</u>, that it is not going to go well ?

Why do we do this ? Neediness ? Fantasies ? Self esteem issues ? </div></div>

yes and for the most part i'd say its instant gratifiacation and or lust

Shine_Eye_Girl
01-17-2007, 02:33 PM
oh yes......are you my psychic advisor or something....... /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif

All done out of fear....afraid of beig alone