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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Backwoods of the Midwestern USA
    Posts
    711

    So Mom's visiting from JA....................

    It's been 3 years since we've seen her and while we are happy to, she's only been here 3 days and we are ready to send her on her way.

    First, she raised hell about the 30lbs of pork that we have in the deep freeze. (she's 7th Day Adventist....)Frankly, we are not and we have no intention of giving up the other white meat.

    Next morning, she's on the front porch taking out her curlers and "fixing her hair" while all the neighbors are wondering if she is crazy or not!!

    Then off to lunch to a chinese restaurant in the City. And I should have remembered what happened the last time and put a stop to her meal request. She orders a whole red snapper, coupled with all the spices favored by the chinese folks; the waitress brings it out and a big plate, the people around us are "oooh'ing and aah'ing" when they smell it and see it.

    The first damn thing that Mom does, is grab the fork, spearate the head from the fish, picked it up with her hands and proceeds to suck the head out!!!
    So while the boys are laughing, Me, Mel and Britt are sitting there speechless as Mom goes to town on the fish head. Other people are speechless too and pretty much in shock and I am about to [censored] explode!!!

    Mel notions to me to keep my mouth shut!! I do, but I don't know for how long! We stop at Walmart to get her some stuff. Mel and Britt are hanging with her and the boys are with me. I'm 2 aisles over and I here the most God awful belch that scares the hell out of the boys and somebody saying "tank yuh Jesus". (SIGH)...Mom again!!!

    Britt comes around the corner and tells me that Mel wants me to go to the vehicle with the boys and wait. As I walk by the aisle where Mom is, some of the people I see are either laughing their rear off or just standing there...once again....shocked!!

    I remind myself that I love this woman and just head to the car.

    About 10 minutes later, we are on our way home. Mel, Britt and Mom are chattin up a storm...the patois is flying and they keep asking me "what did Mom just say". I don't answer, I'm too ticked off!!

    Ok, so it's Friday morning and Mel decides that she wants to take Mom to the garage sales so she can grab some stuff for some of the less fortunate kids back home in the neighborhood church. I tell Mel that it's a bad idea (taking Mom) but she insists. I remind Mel that he last time she visited, we were living in the "sticks" basically, the closest neighbor being a half a mile away and Mom could get away with being herself. We live dead smack in the middle of town now........and Mom is yet again intent on being herself!!

    They leave!!! This could get ugly!!

    I didn't realize just how ugly it got until Britt calls in a panic and says, "come get Granma". I said to myslef, "Oh God, what now?"

    I pull up the garage sale location, take one look, tell Mel, "this was your idea" and drive off!!

    [<span style="font-weight: bold">what was it?]</span>

    Apparently when they left earlier, it was still a little cool (about 68...yes it's June I know). Mom had been wearing a light jacket of mine and had her head wrap on to cover her curlers. When it got warmer, Mom had removed the jacket to reveal that she was not wearing a bra under the T-shirt she was wearing (ok you get the picture) and removed the head wrap revealing the brightly colored curlers. Not only that but as I pulled up, she was huggin on the Police Chief who had stopped to visit one of the City Council members who was having the garage sale!!

    I'm on the phone calling my sister now to get her a flight to Miami then on to JA so she can deal with her. I'm trying to remind myslef that she is 73 years old, set in her Jamaican ways,....... but I still have to live in this town. People around here at one time found it hard to believe that I was Jamaican.......but not after meeting Mom!!!

    Worse, the folks at work have requested that I bring her up to the office so that they can meet her.....

    Nnnnnnooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!


    (It's Saturday morning....her Sabbath....Mel's shopping day, the kids play day, my time away to myself day.....wait.....the house is quiet, where is Mom?

    I just called Mel, they are out doing the garage sale thing again!!!!)
    <span style="font-weight: bold">&quot;It is better to be hated for you are than to be liked for who you are not&quot;</span>

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Your action speaks so loud it drowns out your words
    Posts
    23,726

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

    Ohhh you have a real mom. I am sure ther are manywho would liove to trade for her. at least she is still around.. don't they always have they 'way'? I say, bring her up to the office..

    That would be fun.. and please give us a running report on it too.
    Thet will be much more fun.
    Join me as members of the church of LOVE,and let us change the world, one good deed at a time.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    19,134

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

    Too funny

    Dudd is right many of us who have lost our mom to death, would give anything to be able to love and laugh with our mother's again. At least she's not boring and meddlesome.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois (roun de corner)
    Posts
    7,437

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................



    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm 2 aisles over and I here the most God awful belch that scares the hell out of the boys and somebody saying &quot;tank yuh Jesus&quot;.</div></div>


    yes .. is me dat ..
    dem people at work seh mi fe tek beano ..


    but dis is funeeee ..
    Fiyah Bun ..

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    right where I am
    Posts
    19,711

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

    How about this coworker of mine who still a clear har throat cum cum cum like croaking lizzad? an she deyah since shi a 13?

    You can take some people out of the country, but you cannot take the country out of them.

    give thanks for many blessings, including MOM...she is being herself, as long as she naaah act crazy, what do you care?
    <span style="font-style: italic">If it must choose who is to be crucified, the crowd will always save Barabbas</span>..John Cocteau.

    <span style="font-weight: bold">all the lonely people, where do they all come from?</span>

    <span style="font-style: italic">IGNORE A TROLL, di TROLL LOSES</span>

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Canada Eh!
    Posts
    11,704

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................



    God bless her! (((MOMMA)))
    It's Better to Burn Out Than to Fade Away.


  7. #7
    Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    nyc
    Posts
    34,044

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

    STG I remember you had posted about her the last time she was here

    too funny


    mi have some family weh do the belching too
    “Not all those who wander are lost.” –J. R. R. Tolkien

    What if you took your life back....LIVE like you MEAN IT~~~~~FL

  8. #8
    Administrator
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    40/74
    Posts
    40,996

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

    I are deading but you know people love ar fi being herself..

    <span style="font-style: italic">note: my madda only go garage sales where ar scooter can tek ar </span>
    If you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
    We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.org

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    somewhere
    Posts
    20,574

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................



    bigger badder and browner !

  10. #10
    Administrator
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    29,177

    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

    Has is been three years? I remember your post from her last visit.

    Gotta love mom.
    7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

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